


Turf Wars

by idmarryyoularry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, High School, M/M, Teenagers, harry sleeps around, liam is a dick but he's also not, lots of high school drama, lots of swearing, louis is definitely a dick, or maybe just enemies to lovers, same with Niall, some homophobic language, zayn is just zayn tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-06
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2017-12-14 03:33:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 59,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/832227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idmarryyoularry/pseuds/idmarryyoularry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[High school AU] Liam Payne's high school has two "popular" groups. One is the jocks, of which he is the leader. The other is the more rebellious group. There has always been tension between them, but never more than when a new boy shows up and sides with the latter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Putting all the warnings here, you have been warned: mild drug use, mild sexual content, use of homophobic slurs such as the one that starts with F, bit of violence. 
> 
> Mostly just the homophobic slurs I guess. If you really seriously have a problem with that particular word, it is used a few times throughout this story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains strong language.

  
+++  


Walking out of the principal’s office with a bloody tissue and a black eye wasn’t even a talking point anymore. 

Liam was always getting into fights and he’d given up caring a long time ago along with his teachers, principal and parents. 

He had sat in misleadingly uncomfortable chairs that sat before the big mahogany desk with “Principal” written on a little plaque. Everything was far too familiar: the pictures of Mr Higgins’ family, the half drawn, ugly shutter blinds and the tissue box seated in front of him that he always used to soak up any blood or dirt. 

Today, Liam was only nursing a bit of a crooked nose and a puffy eye, but that jerk-off Harry Styles was dealing with two black eyes, some pretty sore ribs and a collarbone that was giving him a lot of grief. 

“Don’t touch my fucking girlfriend again, Styles.” Liam had spat while standing over a beaten and defeated Harry. The kid was known as the school sleaze and he was a part of the rebellious group, but he wasn’t the top of it. The top was Harry’s best mate and partner in crime, Louis Tomlinson. That kid what even more of a twat that Harry was. The principal was quite surprised that it wasn’t Louis and Liam in his office, as that was the expected and usual fight. 

“I’ve told you a thousand times before boys. I don’t even know what to say to you anymore. I don’t even want to hear why you’re fighting.” Mr Higgins leant back in his chair, not even looking the two roughed-up students as he apathetically lectured them. “Just remember that if it becomes any more regular or anyone gets seriously hurt, you’ll be expelled.” 

Harry and Liam both shrugged simultaneously not really worrying. Harry and the rest of his group weren’t ever going to go on to anything anyway. They would all end up working dead-end jobs, because they were good-for-nothing nobodies that didn’t give a shit. Liam didn’t care, because he had a huge career in front of him as an elite athlete and it didn’t matter whether he finished school or not: he would be in the Olympics or the EPL before long. 

The principal threw his hands in the air when the boys showed no fear at his threat, took a deep breath and shooed them away with a simple and tired flick of his wrist. They stood up at the same time making a beeline for the door. Harry got to the door first and made a point of shoving past Liam’s shoulder on the way out. 

Liam just laughed in his direction and told the younger boy to “piss off”. When he reached his group of mates outside he was still chuckling to himself. They all cheered and patted him on the back as he returned victorious and they watched the backs of Louis and Harry walk away. 

“That Harry dick’s such a cunt.” Niall spoke with a strong Irish accent and venom in his voice. His family had moved to Wolverhampton when he was about ten, but hiss accent had never weakened. 

“Mhm, I know. I got him pretty good, didn’t I?” Liam laughed, clapping his blonde friend on the back. 

Liam’s two best friends were Niall Horan and Josh Devine. Josh was a year older and number one goalie on the school football team that Liam was the captain of. Niall was the same age as Liam and vice captain on that same team. This meant that they were quite popular. They also involved themselves in as many other sports as they could and went to every single social event that was planned, whether they were invited or not… though the later was a rarity. 

The three of them skipped the rest of the day’s classes and went down to the park to have a kick around: it was a post-fight tradition. So, this meant that they skipped school and had a kick pretty much every second day. 

“Apparently there’s a new kid. Seems like he’ll be part of Tommo’s group,” Josh always knew everything that was going on. Niall often called him Gossip Girl to take the piss. 

Liam didn’t really know why, but Niall was right and that guy was full of other people’s shit. Liam had always just figured that the rest of the lads who followed them around like sheepdog told him everything, because Josh was the only one of the three they weren’t scared shitless of. Josh was still tough, he still got in fights, was still extremely popular and also quite a talented drummer and much loved amongst the music program kids, but because he wasn’t captain of anything he seemed less intimidating for some reason. Fair enough, Liam had always thought: more glory and attention for himself. 

The two others just nodded at Josh’s news, not really interested. They doubted that Louis would let anybody join his precious little couple with Harry fucking Styles. The two had been best friends for a few years and nobody seemed to be cool enough or tough enough for them. God, just the thought of them made Liam want to beat the shit out of them and as the football rolled towards him he belted it into the goals so hard that not even the star goalie had a hope in hell. 

In fairness, Liam was the star forward. 

“You alright there mate?” Niall asked rhetorically and laughed at his friend’s sudden outburst. “Do that in the game on Sunday, alright?” 

The boys spent the rest of the night there, practising their skills, badmouthing everybody and working out what to do tactically for the weekend’s game. They all played representative football outside of the school team as well and they were the only three, which is what really separated them from the rest of the team at school and what made them so much more popular. 

When they arrived at school the next day they weren’t surprised to see Louis and Harry with the new kid, but they were surprised that they were talking to him and not beating him or yelling at him and putting him in his place. 

They could only see the back of the new guy, but they knew that he was unfamiliar. He had short black hair covered by a cap, the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, his school pants hung loosely around his waist and he wore his backpack slung off of one shoulder. He had an overall messy appearance and as they approached the group Liam saw the tattoos on the new kid’s arms and the back of his neck, his ears were pierced and he had a pack of cigarettes in his hand. Great: another asshole. 

When Liam, Niall and Josh walked straight up behind the kid and Liam tapped him on the shoulder, Louis gave him a cautioning glare. Liam was expecting the new kid to be dirty and ratty, but when he spun around he was actually sort of beautiful. Liam backtracked his thoughts, wondering how the hell he just thought that. He straightened up, cleared his throat and introduced himself. 

“Liam.” 

“Zayn.” 

The other boy stood with eyebrows raised: he had a lot of attitude and Liam assumed that the Louis had already told him all about the rivalry. Niall took a step forward and introduced himself and Josh and then decided to lecture the new kid. 

“Zayn. Look, whatever these two twats tell you isn’t true. Me and the boys are the top of the school and if you try and mess with us you’ll end up like Harry here.” Niall snickered. Liam looked at that scumbag Harry for the first time this morning and smiled smugly to himself when he saw that his eyes were almost closed from the bruises and his nose was red and swollen still: he looked like a fucking mess. Good. 

Louis and Harry looked at each other after Niall’s spiel and cracked up. Zayn, however, took a step forward and shoved an unsuspecting Niall fair in the chest. 

“Fuck off and don’t talk to me like that again.” Oh, Zayn was a feisty one and if Harry or Louis had touched Niall like that Liam would have beat the snot out of them, but they had training to get to and Liam secretly didn’t really want to hit this guy. He didn’t know why, but it was just something about Zayn’s face that was completely and utterly unpunchable. He couldn’t let anybody know he thought that though, so he just laughed patronisingly at the dark haired, dark skinned boy and pushed past him and Harry and set off for the football field. 

“Can you believe that guy?” Josh laughed as they threw their bags down on the sidelines and slipped into their boots. 

“Nah, what an asshole. We’ll have to give him a bit of shit.” Niall joined in the banter. 

All the while, Liam just smiled and kept his mouth shut, because he didn’t want to slip and let the other boys know that there was no way he was touching that boy. He wasn’t scared of him or disgusted by him; he was, for lack of a better word, intrigued. Liam was very thankful that nobody, even his best friends, would dare insult him for being too quiet and he spent all of practise thinking about Zayn and how his attitude caused Liam’s stomach to bubble in excitement. 

As electrified as the feelings the boy had evoked in him that morning were, Liam hoped that it was just a one off. 

  


+++

  


It wasn’t always that one of the it-groups at school found a new member: they had been the same people for three years now. So, when Zayn showed up and joined one of them, that group’s rivals had no clue what to do. All they knew was that the groups were now balanced: three a piece and that the new kid was an up-himself jerk. 

The first two days after Zayn had arrived, there was little to no interactions between the two groups at all. The rebellious group were keeping to themselves, getting to know Zayn a little better and the sporty group were focused on the big school trials coming up on Friday. 

Honestly, it was all Liam could think about. He knew he would get in: he had been and still would be the captain of the team, but he was more nervous that the new kids added wouldn’t be good enough and that they’d drag him down to their level. 

The athletic boy, dressed with his football jumper over his school top, hung his bag off the back of his chair and sat down for his advanced English class. It was still ridiculous that Liam was in that class, because he never tried once in his academic schooling, but to be fair, he was naturally bright and seemed to be able to conjure up the right answers despite sleeping through half his lessons. And that’s exactly what he did this English class. 

Five minutes in and Liam already had his head on the table, thoughts on football. He lifted his head up though, when his teacher stopped midsentence and addressed someone who had just walked through the door. 

“Hi, is this advanced English?” Zayn asked, standing unusually confidently for a new kid walking into a new class of new faces. 

Liam looked around the room and saw all of the girls in his class either sit up straighter, raise their eyebrows, bite their lip or giggle to their friend. Yes, Zayn was definitely going to be popular with the ladies, just hopefully not as much as a cock about it as Harry is. 

“Yes, uh...” the teacher glanced quickly at his roll, “Alright Mr Malik, there’s a spare seat just over there.” 

Zayn nodded and crossed the room to sit directly opposite Liam and right next to two of the girls that had been giggling since he walked in. He winked at the girl to his right as he pulled out his pens and smirked at Liam as he saw the other boy roll his eyes. 

“Great,” Liam thought. “The one class I have to myself and I’ve got to spend it with this asshole.” 

Liam put his head back on the table and smiled to himself the second he was out of view, “At least he’s something to look at.” 

  


+++

  


“I have English with that prick you guys hate,” Zayn complained as he sat under the tree at the back of the school next to Louis and Harry. Both boys laughed in response. 

“Which one?” Louis questioned. 

“Liam. The main one, yeah?” Harry and Louis just nodded in response and Zayn just groaned again. He pulled out a cigarette from his bag and lit it, taking a deep drag with his eyes closed and leaning his head back against the tree. 

“He slept all class. When he wasn’t sleeping he was staring at me. Not glaring… fucking staring at me.” 

Louis and Harry just shrugged and the boys all moved the conversation to hanging shit on other classmates and asking Zayn if he’s seen any girls he’d “like to fuck” yet. The three boys were laughing and rolling around on the ground when Zayn asked the same question to Harry and he listed all but two or three girls in the school. 

Louis’ girlfriend, who he introduced as Eleanor, walked over and sat down next to Louis wordlessly and just sat chewing gum and texting. She was definitely attractive and if she weren’t dating Louis, Zayn definitely would have tried to fuck her. He wondered if Harry had ever made a move or whether he drew the line at his best friend’s girl. 

“They’re so fucking cocky, look at them.” Louis pointed out Liam, Niall and Josh strutting their way to the football field, footballs and boots in hand. 

“Do they ever stop?” Zayn asked with a chuckle. 

“Being pricks? Nope” Harry smirked. 

“Nah, I meant training.” Zayn corrected, “I played back at my old school, but never trained as much as they do.” 

Louis proceeded to explain to him that trials were this week and that they also played for “some special team” outside of school as well. Harry also found the idea of Zayn playing football very amusing as well, explaining that he didn’t really look like the type, nodding at Zayn’s third cigarette for the break. 

“Fuck off, I was a great player.” Zayn blew smoke into the air as he frowned in defence of himself. 

“Try out for the team then and show those assholes up.” Eleanor suggested in a surprisingly high-pitched voice that Zayn could tell was always full of venom and ego before shrugging and turning straight back to her phone. Louis’ whole face lit up at the prospect of somebody actually putting his rivals into their rightful place once and for all and he squeezed his girlfriend around the waist for having such a fantastic idea. 

“I’ll think about it,” Zayn replied, putting a smile on both boys’ faces. Harry’s smile was, however, quickly replaced by a frown. 

The curly haired boy winced as he prodded at the still purple, but slowly turning yellow, mark on his face that was left by the one and only Liam Payne. Louis slapped his hand away from his face. 

“Don’t touch it, dickhead.” 

Harry pouted, followed by Zayn asking him what he actually did to deserve it. 

“Liam’s girlfriend’s really hot. I kissed her at a party and she told him,” the bruised boy explained. 

Zayn realised that he already had the pair figured out: Louis was just a twat to everyone, but Zayn liked that about him… the boy had a lot of sass and nobody would dare fuck with him, and Harry was the school’s sleaze: hooking up with every boy’s girlfriend without a second thought. Zayn definitely liked Harry and he couldn’t wait to go out to parties with them and just get completely fucked up. 

“By the way, whether you try out or not, there’s an after-trials party on Friday night for everyone before they announce the team. I know, who gives a shit ey? Well there’s heaps of booze and girls there so we’re going.” Louis informed Zayn, who was now picking up his books, stubbing out his cigarette and standing up. “You’ll come?” 

“Sounds sweet. I’ll see you guys later.” Zayn nodded as he turned around and walked off to his next class, which just so happened to be gym. So, as he walked into the change rooms, reeking of smoke and drawing more than enough attention to himself, he was confronted by the three sports dicks. 

Josh shoved past him as he walked to the showers and Niall decided to talk to him again. Zayn was starting to get the idea that this kid liked the sound of his own voice. 

“The fuck are you doing here?” The blonde demanded. 

“Getting changed for gym.” Zayn didn’t even look at the other boy as he continued to pull his runners and gym clothes out of his bag. “Did you want anything or did you just want to stand here and try to abuse someone that clearly doesn’t give a shit?” 

Niall looked taken back, not used to being outsmarted and having non-violent confrontations and simply huffed and walked away. Zayn smiled victoriously to himself, wondering why Louis and Harry had such a hard time with these guys when they were so easily defeated. 

When Zayn pulled his shirt off, he could see Liam watching him out of the corner of his eye. All knowingly and experimentally, he slid his school pants off so he was standing in just his underwear. Before he stepped into his shorts though, he shot a glance at Liam whose eyes were widened. Zayn flashed an overly glorious smile at him before returning to dress himself. 

From what Louis and Harry had told him, Liam was apparently quite good at running his mouth and starting a fight with everyone and anyone who dared threaten his popularity, but he didn’t seem to assert any of this on Zayn yet. He just stared from a distance and looked like a deer caught in headlights. 

Zayn was completely okay with this: the less people he had to beat the shit out defending himself, the better. 

Speaking of, Niall obviously wanted to start round two as he shoved past Zayn again on his way back to Liam. 

“Hey Niall,” the Irish boy turned around to face the dark skinned boy calling his name. “You and your mates better watch the fuck out. I’m going to be on the football team this year.” 

Niall just laughed in disbelief and didn’t even bother to reply before turning around and rushing over to tell his leader the news. Zayn felt quite embarrassed, because the words had sounded far less childish in his mind, so he gathered up his things and headed to the football pitch for class; but not before catching a glimpse of Liam smirking arrogantly to himself. 

  


+++

  


It’s funny how you spend countless days and nights worrying about starting at a new school and before you know it the week’s almost over. It was Friday afternoon and Zayn Malik had received dirty looks from the jocks all day… probably due to the scruffy football boots that he was carrying around with him. 

Today was the day that the school team was reselected for the beginning of the winter tournaments and Zayn’s friends had told him to try out just to fuck with the footballers: so he would. 

Unfortunately, it was an awful day and the football oval was covered in a more-than-fine layer of mud as the rain poured down all over the town. Perfect weather for football though. 

Zayn sauntered over to the pitch after leaving his bags with Louis and Harry who were smirking from the stands while Eleanor clung tight to her boyfriend and shivered in her inappropriately short school skirt and an unbuttoned shirt. 

“Show ‘em up, Malik!” Louis shouted towards Liam, although it was directed at his friend. 

At that, Liam spun around with eyebrows high and a ball tucked under his arm. He watched the dark skinned boy stand ten metres away from the rest of the group, kicking a ball to himself and practising his footwork. 

Niall, Josh and a couple of the other boys on the team made snide remarks, as they do to all the newcomers, but Liam just stood there smirking: looking like he was involved, but not actually contributing to the torment. 

Niall was halfway through insulting someone’s mother and/or grandmother when the whistle blew and they all turned around to face the coach. 

The coach’s name was Tim. He was a big bloke and he knew what he was talking about with football: he was definitely respected within the team. When he spoke, nobody else did. Even the new kids seemed to pick up on the unspoken shut-up-and-listen rule. Or maybe it was just nerves. 

“You train tonight. Run hard and show me your skills. Team will be on the noticeboard on Monday,” cut the bullshit, no hellos and straight into training. Liam loved the way Tim coached, because it didn’t allow for anything but training and focus. “Liam, take them for a 2k’ warm up run and set the pace high for ‘em.” 

Clearly “warm up” was an exaggeration and it was going to cull the unfit players from selection. 

Liam nodded enthusiastically though then set off and, being the school’s best runner, he was leading by a country mile before long. 

Liam was probably up to about one kilometre when he lapped the main bunch of the group. All of the new kids, a few of his old teammates and Josh were running at about the same pace and when Liam flew arrogantly past them, he saw the only four people that had pushed ahead of that group were Niall, two of last season’s teams centres and Zayn. 

Okay, so Zayn wasn’t too far ahead of the pack, but neither was Niall. 

As Liam strode past Zayn all he could hear was that the guy was obviously pushing himself. He was wheezing like crazy and it sounded rough. 

“You alright mate?” Liam clapped Zayn on the shoulder as he passed, trying to be a moderately nice person, but regretting it immediately. His plan was to not be horrible to the guy; his plan wasn’t to be friendly though. Zayn didn’t reply though and Liam felt an unnecessary feeling of embarrassment and stupidity. 

“Surprised the guy can actually run from all that smoking,” Niall puffed out as Liam, once again, strode past. 

  
.   
  


After training, Liam was the last one to leave as always, because he stayed behind to get extra coaching or to run more or to practice more. Niall and Josh came out of the change-rooms and Liam was still dribbling the ball up and down the field, kicking it hard into the back of the net every time. 

“C’mon mate. We’ve got the party. You’re not even close to ready,” Josh complained. Niall and him were already cleaned, dressed and ready. 

It only took about ten minutes for Liam to run in, have a quick shower, throw on jeans and a nice shirt and ruffle his hair. The mirror was always good to him, so he gave it a nod and a wink before he left. 

“Let’s go,” Liam beckoned as he headed out of the school gates and the other two followed eagerly. 

The guy whose house the party was always at only lived a ten-minute walk from the school, which made life a lot easier considering that nobody was old enough to drive yet. 

Standing out the front, the music was incredibly loud, the night was dark and the celebrations were obviously quite under way, which was perfect for the three boys that expected and knew that they were to be the life and centre of attention at the party: they always were and why would anything have changed? 

The new kid. That’s what changed. 

Niall, Liam and Josh all felt incredibly uncomfortable when they walked into the party, were offered a drink and then left alone. 

They all exchanged a confused look, shrugged then went off to look for what was happening. There were obviously people that still wanted to talk to them and were hanging around with them. To an outsider, there was nothing peculiar about that behaviour of people at the party; but there was to the boys. There was just a slightly lesser amount of attention than usual. 

When they finally walked out the back to the fire in the barrel where Louis and Harry were always found, they also found the majority of the school’s female population. Eleanor was straddling Louis’ lap, not talking to anyone and just being a stuck up bitch as per usual, Harry had maybe three or four girls seated around him and was clearly having the time of his life and Zayn was leaning up against a tree, smoking languidly and surrounded by a flurry of females talking their heads off to him. 

The centre of attention at this party was Zayn. 

“Oh hey Liam. Come join us,” Louis beckoned sarcastically. Liam noted that Zayn’s head had shot up immediately at the mention of his name. When he saw the brown eyes bore into him for only a slight second, his heart started picking up the pace. How odd. 

“Yeah, fuck off,” Harry’s words were already severely slurred and it was only nine o’clock. He raked a hand through his curls, flipped his fringe and turned back to the girls who, for the record, looked like they were about to swoon and fall out of their chairs. 

Liam just laughed unharmed and unoffended, grabbed a beer out of the fridge against the back wall and walked back into the house to be greeted lovingly by his girlfriend. To be completely honest, Liam was getting pretty sick of Danielle pretty damn fast. She was an incredible dancer, had the most amazing body, was the most beautiful girl and was also one of the only girls at school that wasn’t a massive bitch, but to Liam she was more or less a trophy. And that trophy had almost slept with Harry Styles the week before. Though he wasn’t in the mood to break up with her or anything along the lines, so he just sat with his beer and girlfriend on the couch and enjoyed the party and the people. 

And that he did. People spent the whole night coming up to Liam, offering him drinks, complimenting his girl and he didn’t even have to get up off of the sofa. Danielle loved the attention too, but not so much the attention from the girls that would come and literally sit on Liam’s lap and flirt right in front of her. It was a simple fix though, because at the end of the day, Liam was hers. 

Danielle cleared her throat to get her boyfriend’s attention and climbed over to be sitting on his lap, legs curled over on each side of his waist. She pressed their lips together forcefully. Liam smirked and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. 

“Hey Li, this 's great,” Niall slumped next to Liam, interrupting the couple on the couch. It had only been an hour or two and he was already completely and utterly fucked. His words were only just coherent and his eyes would barely open. Danielle groaned, excusing herself and wandering off probably to find more drinks or Harry. 

“You’re gone, mate.” Liam clapped his friend on the shoulder, laughing, “Where’s Josh?” 

“Probably throwing up,” Niall giggled. 

“He must be pretty fucking drunk.” 

“Nah. He just got dared to kiss me. It was weird.” Niall scrunched his nose. 

Liam burst out into loud guffaws. “Serious? How was he?” 

“Yeah. It is a grea- par’y.” Niall’s words stuttered towards the end as he slowly passed out. 

Liam just laughed to himself as the blonde boy’s eyes fluttered closed. He stood up and left his friend on the couch, searching for Josh so that he could let him know he was taking Niall home. Liam was definitely a partygoer, but he wasn’t irresponsible: his and his friends’ health was always number one, especially as athletes. 

After checking all of the rooms inside, Liam ventured outside to find Josh had parked himself on a chair right next to the beer fridge. What an innovative, efficient champion, Liam thought. 

“Taking Niall home. He’s fucked,” Josh looked up at Liam with bleary eyes and nodded. “You coming?” 

“Nah mate, I’ll head off in about an hour though.” 

“Alright… I heard about you two. Crazy bastards.” Josh just laughed, because it was nothing more than something to laugh about. 

Liam’s smile faded as he turned around and headed towards the door, almost bumping into Zayn on the way through the door. Liam had stepped aside to let him past and received a small smile as thanks. 

Liam left the party with Niall under his shoulder and confusing butterflies in his stomach.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Strong language use.

  
+++

  


There was a collection of boys around the school’s noticeboard on Monday morning as Liam Payne walked down the corridor. He and his best mates didn’t even stop to read the final selections; just glancing quickly across to see their names printed proudly at the very top and continued their day. It was the first year though, that Liam had to do a second take, eyes widening at the name that sat just under his and his friends. 

Liam knew that Zayn was a good footballer: he’d seen it at training, but the guy was completely and utterly unreliable and full of attitude. Plus, the last thing Liam wanted at the moment was to spend more time with the lad… or at least that’s what he tried to convince himself. 

The truth was though, that his stomach had done a little flip at realising he would soon be spending a lot of time with the mysteriously beautiful boy. 

Wait, not beautiful. Liam Payne did not just call a boy beautiful. 

“You o’ay, Li?” Niall asked through stuffing a second breakfast into his mouth. 

“Yeah I’m fine,” he snapped himself out of his inner monologue, “See you boys later. I’ve got to get to English.” 

Advanced English was the one class that Liam shared with Zayn and he groaned silently to himself, seemingly unable to avoid the boy who was occupying so many, far too many, of his thoughts. 

When he walked into class, everybody was standing around talking and waiting for the teacher to arrive, but Zayn was sitting at his desk, head down and tapping away at his phone. 

Liam walked over to him and sat on the top of the desk next to him. The darker boy slowly lifted his head to face him with one eyebrow raised and a victorious smirk on his face. 

“Hey Liam,” Zayn’s smirk twisted into a smile, as he knew that he was about to be congratulated. Hearing the boy say his name did weird things to Liam and he struggled to keep his eyes open and focused. What the hell was happening to him? 

Judging by the look Zayn was wearing and the waves of arrogance rolling off of his body, he had already seen the team lists. 

“Congratulations on making the team, mate,” Liam clapped him on the back and chuckled, “looks like lucky me gets to spend a lot more time with you now.” 

Oh lord, what the fuck. That was bad: why did he say that? Liam watched amusement dance through Zayn’s eyes like he was enjoying some kind of personal joke. 

“Maybe not. Just because I made the team doesn’t mean I’m playing,” Zayn’s smirk returned as he tapped his pen on the table. 

“You… what?” Liam couldn’t be more confused. He wouldn’t dare… 

“I’m not taking my spot on the team. I just wanted to prove to you guys that I’m as good as you are. Maybe then you might get off your high fuckin’ horse,” Zayn watched as Liam slowly but surely got angry. 

“How dare-“ 

“ _MISTER_ Payne,” the teachers voice rang through the classroom, “I’m glad to see you’re making friends, but could you please resume your seat so that we can start?” 

Liam stood up with a quick glare towards the other boy before returning to his own desk. 

  


+++

  


Liam waited until he got outside at recess before he stormed his way over to Louis’ group. Niall and Josh had no clue what was going on, but followed loyally anyway. Louis, Eleanor, Harry and Harry’s daily fling were sitting at the base of the tree, while Zayn stood with his back against it, texting and smoking away. 

Somehow, no teachers ever had a go at Zayn for smoking. He seemed to just do it all the time and get away with it. 

“How _DARE_ you fucking disrespect my team like that!” Liam just kept storming closer and closer and by the time he finished his sentence he was right up in Zayn’s face: mere centimetres between them. Zayn’s eyes widened as he felt Liam’s hot breath against his own mouth and watched the other boy’s brown eyes almost popping. 

There was an awkward moment for about two seconds when Liam watched Zayn’s eyes travel down to his lips then back up immediately. Nobody else would have seen it happen or felt the moment, but it definitely happened. 

It was broken, however, by none other than Louis Tomlinson crashing into Liam’s side. 

“Get the fuck away from him!” Louis didn’t tackle Liam, but he shoved him hard enough to put him on his ass. 

“Getting a bit defensive there, Tomlinson?” Niall, the loud mouth that he is, decided to join in the banter. 

“You can fucking talk, faggot.” Louis’ words and his proximity to Niall had the blonde boy stop completely in his tracks. 

“Excuse me?” Liam asked from the ground, dusting himself off. This confrontation had gone from zero to one hundred in a few sentences, though it didn’t really start at zero. 

“I saw you two,” Louis’ finger waggled between Niall and Josh, “at the party on Friday.” 

“Oh for fuck’s sake Louis, they were drunk and it was a dare. There’s nothing wrong with shit like that.” Liam was back on his feet now, Niall and Josh both seemed to be too shocked to speak. 

Harry stood up then having noticed Liam’s almost automatic defensive tone. 

“Woah there Payne, keeping a secret are we?” Harry’s slow drawl was patronising, “Which boy do _you_ wanna fuck then?” Liam growled, eyes flicking quickly across to Zayn as his face burned embarrassingly. 

Thankfully nobody noticed though because it was at that that Niall jumped on Harry and the blur of fists and knees and screams started, while Josh grabbed a hold of Harry and tried to pull him off Niall. 

Everybody stood silently, watching the two fight. Eleanor and the other girl sat disinterested on the ground smacking their gum and chatting away as if nothing that was happening was interesting or unordinary enough to waste their time with. Zayn pushed away from the tree and took a few concerned steps towards the action and Liam and Louis glared at each other until Louis broke the silence with a laugh. 

“I’m flattered, but really not interested. You’re not quite my ty-“ Louis’ words were cut short by Liam’s knuckles colliding heavily with his cheekbone. There was a sure crack, but judging by the throb, it came from Liam’s knuckle. It was quickly retaliated, but the school’s champion boxer had the advantage, dodging more than half of the hits. 

“The fuck are you looking at?” Liam couldn’t see Zayn, but he could hear him and assumed he was about to try and start a fight with Josh. 

Liam was wrestling with Louis on the ground when Louis rolled and pinned Liam to the ground. The boy on the bottom had his hands up to guard his face, but then he saw Niall break off from Harry and storm towards Zayn. 

_Oh god, please Niall, don’t hit him_ , Liam thought briefly. 

He was distracted for only a second, but in that one split second, Niall’s fist connected with Zayn’s jaw and Louis’ fist with Liam’s forehead. 

  


+++

  


Two days, one very bad concussion, a fair egg on his head and a few stitches later. 

Niall and Josh had been waiting by Liam’s bed when he’d woken up and had both been very confused when his first question had been if Zayn was okay or not. 

“Who gives a shit, mate. Are you alright?” was Niall’s answer. 

The two boys had thought it was a little bit odd, but didn’t bring it up again, assuming it was just a brain-lapse from the concussion. Liam was very thankful for that and had no clue what had possessed him to say something like that out loud. 

Actually, when Zayn walked into first period English on Thursday morning, Liam knew exactly why. The boy walked in with a messy school uniform: shirt rolled up at the sleeves and a pair of worn black sneakers and Liam felt his stomach flip just a little. 

After having a couple of days of lounging around at home, Liam had had a lot of time to think. He was quite sure that he was feeling some sort of… interest towards this guy, but wouldn’t dare call it a crush just yet. He’d never really liked a boy before either and wasn’t too sure how his reputation would hold up if somebody found out that he may or may not swing both ways and of course his reputation was something that played a big part in most, if not all, of his decisions. 

He knew that Zayn was definitely an attractive guy and he was alluring in a sense that you wanted to know what made him so bitter and rebellious. There was surely something that made him that way and Liam was becoming rather infatuated with the idea of working out what that thing was, and then finding out if there was a different, softer side to the guy. 

“You okay mate?” 

As if on cue, a voice brought Liam out of his trance and he was faced by two brown eyes hovering over him. Zayn was leaning with both hands on the table opposite Liam, his head lowered to attract attention from the other boy. 

“Hey, ah, yeah. Just a bit of a bump,” Liam ran his fingers delicately across the cut on his forehead and was very thankful that he was able to find his voice and not look like an utter fool. He did, however, let his eyes wander just a little bit. 

Zayn’s veins were straining against the skin of his arms, his hands in fists on the table and from the angle he was on, his collar bones stuck out like crazy and his shirt was hanging and revealing them even more along with a small tattoo along them. “You have a tattoo?” 

Zayn stood up straight again with that goddamn smirk that he always wore when he caught Liam looking at him, “Yeah, it’s for my grandpa.” 

“That’s actually sweet,” Liam chuckled with eyebrows furrowed and was genuinely surprised that Zayn told him what it was and didn’t just tell him to ‘piss off’. 

The darker-skinned boy smiled properly at that and watched the way that Liam’s Adam’s apple bobbed in a gulp whenever his eyes trailed over his own skin. 

“Hm, who knew, ey?” Zayn laughed and Liam was surprised at how normal and friendly the guy seemed. “Well, as long as you’re alright.” 

The darker skinned boy left with a parting smile and moved over to his seat on the other side of the room. Liam watched as he pulled out his books and wondered just how a guy who is so normal could be like that, yet hang out with a bunch of twats like Louis, Harry and whoever they were both fucking at the time. It was such a shame, because this boy was more than capable of producing butterflies just from laughing and he was a caring enough guy to get a tattoo for a family member. 

Liam spent the rest of class conjuring random what-ifs and shooting glances at Zayn, but the other boy just kept his eyes on his work and the front the whole time. 

  
+++

  


The walk home was one of Zayn’s favourite parts of the day, because it wasn’t quite home and it wasn’t quite school, but when he walked up to the front of his house and he could already hear the yelling, he sighed. With a deep breath and a roll of his eyes, anything good that had happened during the day or his walk was quite obviously over as he walked down the footpath. 

It wasn’t as bad as it seemed at first-glance: his parents fought a lot and his sisters gave him the shits, so he just spent most of his time in his room. It wasn’t like he was being abused or there were alcoholics in the house. 

Zayn was impressed with his own stealth when he slipped unnoticed, with a carton of juice from the kitchen, into his bedroom. 

His bedroom that really, definitely needed to be cleaned. There were clothes thrown all over the floor, empty packets of food stuffs and drink cartons, empty cigarette packets. His desk that used to be used for studying was now covered in spare pouches and papers and slabs of beer. 

It was incredible how much other people’s actions could affect your life. Zayn had grown up as the “model student” kind of kid: always studying and never getting into that much trouble apart from a few sarcastic responses to teachers who probably deserved them. When he asked out a boy he thought was interested in him though, the whole school was quick to find out that the boy wasn’t interested at all and that Zayn was bisexual. 

It was easier to label yourself, even though Zayn hated labels, because explaining yourself was never worth the hassle. The young boy was quick to work out that it wasn’t really girls or boys he was attracted to, but rather each person individually. Pansexual, bisexual: it didn’t matter to the kids at his old school and before long Zayn was in fights every day at school and over time developed his attitude and style as a way of protecting himself. 

He’d gone from straight A’s and confidence to cigarettes and fighting and his parents were not at all thrilled. Zayn still hadn’t told them the reason he had been teased at school and didn’t plan on doing it anytime soon. He hadn’t really planned on doing anything with his sexuality at the time except for have a little fun. 

That _fucking_ Liam kid, though, just did not seem to allow for that. Zayn was well aware of the fact that the sporty boy had been watching him almost everywhere he went and wasn’t giving him the kind of attitude that he seemed to give everyone else. 

Zayn knew he was an attractive guy: it was all he really had going for him. He was very particular about the way he looked, the way his hair was styled and the clothes that he wore. He knew that people watched him everywhere he went, because of his jawline and his big eyelashes and toned body. If he was completely honest: he loved it, but it was also a burden in a weird kind of way. Everybody wanted to admire his beauty from afar or just sleep with him and leave. Nobody ever really stayed and listened or learned. 

He assumed Liam was doing the exact same thing that everybody else does: he’d watch him and admire him, but wouldn’t come close unless it was for a shag. 

Who’s to say Liam was that way inclined, too. Maybe Zayn is just a little bi-curious experiment for him. He could deal with that though, because he was used to it and it was all he could really get. 

Zayn threw his body onto his bed and sighed heavily. His imagination was getting the best of him again and he was probably just making up that Liam was giving him bedroom eyes all day. 

Little did he know though, that at the same time, Liam was lying, watching the ceiling and furrowing his eyebrows as he thought about what he could possibly do to talk to the dark-skinned, ebony-eyed boy and get to know him. 

Both boys sighed simultaneously on either sides of the city. Zayn contemplating using Liam as a quick hook-up to feel a little less lonely and unwanted and Liam pondering how to get closer to the other without having to communicate with Harry and Louis. 

It was going to be a long two days until the next English class. 

  
+++

  


Danielle was not happy and that’s that. 

“I just don’t feel the same anymore Dani, please believe me.” Liam hated hurting people’s feelings that weren’t Harry or Louis’. He more or less just hated hurting girls full stop, which gave quite good reason as to why he hated Harry so much. 

“Oh my god,” Danielle sighed, tilted her head so her eyes watched nothing on the ground and dropped her shoulders. 

“I’m sor-“ 

“You cheated on me, didn’t you?” the poor girl’s eyes didn’t even meet Liam’s, but the young boy tried desperately to meet her eyes, so that she could see that he was serious. 

“No, of course I didn’t!” Liam took a cautious step towards her and extended his hand, only to have it swatted away. “I wouldn’t ever do that.” 

Danielle finally brought her eyes back to his, but they were cold, angry and hurt. “Oh my god, you did!” Danielle’s voice rose, as she worked herself up more and more, “Who was it, Liam!?” 

“Dani, please, I-“ 

“FUCKING HELL LIAM! Just tell me!” The girl’s cheeks now sported tears and her tiny hands where in fists with arms hanging stiff beside her delicate frame. 

Liam swore that he saw her stomp her foot. 

“I promise, I didn’t! I know this sucks, but I would hate to lead you on when I don’t feel the same, which is why I’m doing this!” 

“Fine…keep lying if it makes you feel better.” Liam watched as Danielle’s eyes narrowed throughout her words, “Goodbye.” 

She spun around on the ball of one foot, hair flying out in a circular motion and stormed off to stand by her friends, who started shooting Liam filthy looks as they listened to what she was telling them. 

Liam couldn’t hear them, but he was sure that Danielle would soon tell the world that Liam had cheated on her even though it was not true in the slightest. If anything, it was Danielle that had cheated: hooking up with Harry Styles the week prior. Liam was surprised she had made such a fuss really, he though she would have been happy to end it and be free to shag whomever she wants. 

“Okay, that was ridiculous” Liam commented to himself quietly. 

Niall laughed as he walked around from where he and Josh had been standing and listening behind a tree. 

“She took that well!” Ever-sarcastic Niall clapped his mate on the shoulder, still guffawing. 

It wasn’t _really_ that funny, but Niall was amused easily. 

Josh just stood with a slight smirk on his lips and a small chuckle in his throat. 

“Let’s just go, I just want to get to class.” Liam begged, “That was fucking awful.” 

  


+++

  


Being deliberately late to class was not something that Liam usually condoned. For all of his antiestablishment fighting and his apathy towards possibly being expelled, he was still a teacher’s pet (whether he would admit it or not) and the idea of his favourite teacher in his favourite subject being disappointed in him was a horrifying thought. 

But it was a price he was wiling to pay. 

After he had broken up with Danielle, he had sat through Spanish with Niall and Josh and not really payed attention to them or the work: he had been lost in his own mind. 

If Danielle was going to tell everybody that he’d supposedly cheated and was going to make this a tough break up for him, he had no moral obligation to wait before moving onto someone else. 

So, he figured he’d take a stab in the dark. Go out on a whim. Possibly ruin his reputation and dignity. But if he pulled this off, well, anything could happen really. 

The only reason he was late to class was because he wanted to make certain that the new object of his affections would not be able to do anything about his advance… at least for today. 

When Liam tapped the back of his hand on the door three times lightly and pushed against the wood, he received a disapproving look from his teacher, but with a simple “Sorry, lost track of time in the gym”, he walked towards the back of the room with no further questions. 

However, he walked straight passed his normal seat, which definitely did not go unnoticed. Before a second had passed, the whole classroom was watching eagerly to see where the newly single Liam would plonk himself. 

All of the girls fiddled nervously or flicked their hair, but Liam kept walking until he reached the very back, right corner and put his books on the spare table there. 

He kept his face expressionless and towards the front, but in his peripherals he could see the raven-haired boy seated next to him lift his head and look at him with raised eyebrows. 

Liam gulped, but showed no other reaction, simply pulling out his pen from his pencil case. 

Zayn looked around the room and noticed that people had turned their seats around and were not even trying to hide the fact that they were staring at the two boys. 

Zayn cleared his throat, which caused Liam to look up at him. When their eyes met, Liam smiled slightly in greeting, but Zayn couldn’t help but smirk. 

Liam’s thoughts raced, but his mouth stayed closed (and dry with nerves), as did Zayn’s. 

The only words exchanged during that class were “Hey mate, do you have another pen? Mine just died”, “Thanks”, “No problem” and “See ya”. 

_It didn’t go fantastically, but it didn’t go awfully either_ , Liam thought. 

  
+++

  


Liam had a whole three days to think everything through before he faced Zayn in another English class. 

Should he sit next to Zayn again? Should he talk to him? What does he actually want to come of this? Can Zayn tell? Does Zayn even like him at all? There really was only one way to find out and that was the simple means of trial and error. 

Ever since he had sat next to him in class, Zayn had been smiling slightly at him in the corridor. It wasn’t much: it wasn’t anything: just simply acknowledgment. But that acknowledgment was a sign for Liam that Zayn wasn’t going to rip his head off if he went near him again. 

So, although Liam wasn’t late to English this time, he still sat at the back of the room. Although, Zayn was the one to show up late this time (surprise, surprise) and he smirked when he saw Liam waiting eagerly for him beside his own regular seat. 

Liam cursed that fucking smirk under his breath and tried to not watch as Zayn practically strutted his way over to their table. 

“Hey.” Liam piped up, while Zayn threw his backpack over the back of the chair and settled in for the lesson. 

“Hi,” Zayn returned, but showed little to no interest. 

Liam felt his stomach drop as he realised how stupid all of this was. Why was he trying so hard to talk to a boy? The darker-skinned boy watched Liam’s features falter slightly and instantly regretted his cold approach. 

“H-how are you?” Zayn offered. 

“Uhm, yeah not too bad.” Liam smiled, “Practise this morning was good. What about you?” 

“Same, except without the football.” Both boys chuckled slightly, but this was followed by completely and utterly awkward silence. 

The two boys focused on their work for the next half hour, barely looking at each other and almost dying in the awkwardness. It had to be broken and Zayn didn’t seem like doing that any time soon. 

“So why did you move schools?” Liam asked, putting the end of his pen in his mouth because… well he couldn’t remember what he usually did with his hands and his mouth so he was killing two birds with one stone. 

Zayn wasn’t going to tell Liam the truth, because he didn’t want anybody to know, but “There were just a lot of assholes, so I moved to get away from them I guess” wasn’t a lie either. 

“Were they really that bad?” 

“Yeah.” Liam could obviously sense a bigger picture and wanted a better story, but he wasn’t going to get it. 

“Why did you-“ 

“You’re very quizzical today,” Zayn interrupted in fear of the other boy getting any clues into the real reason he moved. It was easier to just interrupt and change the subject. 

Liam laughed and possibly even blushed a little bit and nervously spat out “Sorry, I just wanted to know, I guess. Sorry.” 

“That’s okay,” Liam looked like a lost puppy when he was embarrassed or rejected and Zayn couldn’t bear it. “Questions are fine. I get that you’re trying to get to know me, which is cool, but not about my old school okay?” 

Liam’s eyes were wide and his bushy eyebrows were practically in his hairline. _Which is cool. Which is cool. Cool. Get to know me. Cool_. Zayn was genuinely a nice guy… 

“I have a question,” Zayn waited for a grunt of approval from Liam. “Why do you hate Lou and Harry so much? What happened?” 

“Don’t get me started. They’re disrespectful and they’re fucking twats. I don’t know why you hang out with them… or how really.” It never made sense in Liam’s mind: even though Zayn fit in with them in terms of his look and his attitude towards school and life, he definitely didn’t find in with them in terms of being a fucking asshole. 

“They’re not as bad as you think,” Zayn smiled when Liam lifted one eyebrow as if to call bullshit, “Really. They’re cool. They don’t really care about much, so I guess I like that kind of carefree, middle-finger-to-the-world attitude.” 

“Fair enough, I guess.” 

“Why do you hang out with your mates?” 

“Because they’re supportive and they’re focused on their football and they’re heaps of fun.” 

“Fair enough,” Zayn mimicked, “I guess.” 

“Why do you hate them?” Liam prodded. 

“Because they’re cunts,” was Zayn’s blunt reply, although it was followed by both bursting into a laugh. 

Liam wasn’t even concerned that his best friends that he usually fights to defend had been insulted, because all he could focus on was the way that Zayn’s brown eyes sparkled when he laughed and the lines around his mouth indicating that he didn’t smile like this all too often. 

Zayn couldn’t help but notice the way that Liam was looking at him, and once their laughs had subsided and they had packed up and parted ways in the corridor with a handshake, it really set in that he was either making stuff up in his head or that Liam Payne had some flicker of feelings for him. 

Either way, Zayn knew that nothing good would come of this and he owed it to himself and his family to not fuck up this school like he did the last. Any feelings that he had developed and had the potential to develop for Liam were shoved away in an emotions draw and locked. 

He wasn’t going to let himself get carried away or fooled by cute advances or puppy-dog eyes. If it came to friends with Liam, then it would stop at friends. 

Zayn spent the rest of the day careful, grim and brooding: the way he should be. 

  
+++

  


It wasn’t unusual for Liam Payne to be strutting down the school corridor, overbrimming with confidence and smiling at everyone who practically begged for his attention, but the difference today was why he was so chipper. 

Usually, the whole I’m-the-most-popular-guy-at-school-and-I’ll-be-a-famous-athlete-one-day thing made him his happy self, but that day he could not have cared less. 

After his successful plan to befriend the dreamy, brooding boy, Zayn Malik, and the feeling of relief when Zayn stopped ignoring him and actually started talking back and smiling instead of smirking, he had since had three more encounters. 

The first was when Zayn smiled at him when he walked across the football field where Liam was training to get to class (incredibly late). 

The second, as equally uneventful, yet still existent, was when they had had a nice chat about themselves to each other. In English class, of course. 

Neither of the boy’s friends knew of their newfound friendship, but yet they already knew each other’s interests and backgrounds, plans for the future, and even a little bit about each other’s families and friends. All that information was obtained in a one and a half hour English triple period with some help from a substitute teacher who had told the class they had “work to go on with”, which really meant, “talk among yourselves and don’t cause trouble”. 

By the time that the weekend had rolled past, the boys had spent the two days off eager to talk again, although Zayn was still slightly reserved to the idea (but being friends with Liam was never going to cause any harm). The third encounter was the one that changed the dynamics even though it lasted a split second. 

The boys were well aware that the whole class had constant eyes and ears on them, wanting to know why on God’s green earth the most popular jock and a member of the more or less “rebellious” group were sitting and chatting in the back of the classroom, yet not talking outside of the four award-winning-essay-and-project-covered walls. 

If they weren’t so untouchable in their status, they would have been the talk of the school, but people valued their social lives too much to risk having them destroyed were they caught gossiping about Liam or Zayn by Liam or Zayn. 

The boys ignored the fact that they were being watched though and continued conversations as, what was becoming, normal. 

The conversation topic was general: nothing interesting or particularly memorable. Liam said something witty and both boys burst out laughing. 

Liam’s palms sat flat on the table and his head was thrown back as he laughed uncontrollably. Zayn had crumpled himself over, holding one side of his stomach with one hand and the other hitting his leg. It was at least twenty seconds before Liam’s head turned to face Zayn and both their laughter had subsided to slight chuckles. Zayn had a single tear rolling down his cheek from laughing so hard. 

“Oh my god, you’re crying,” Liam chuckled, making both boys laugh again at themselves. 

Zayn was lost in the moment and placed his hand over Liam’s to try and steady himself mentally. 

Neither of them pulled away though, which was what made this third event so significant. Zayn’s fingers flexed and then relaxed again and Liam watched his dark brown eyes zeroing in on their touching hands. 

Liam just chuckled slightly and cocked his head and Zayn, who instantly realised where he was and what he was doing and pulled his hand back to rest in his other on his lap. 

Zayn cleared his throat and was incredibly thankful for the interruption of their teacher beginning a speech on the importance of syntactical and phonological patterning in the poems they were to write for homework. 

Liam watched Zayn’s cheeks burn red and his face stay deliberately facing the front and not moving an inch. 

He smiled to himself slightly, wondering endless possibilities and meanings behind the small gesture and lost himself in his imagination until the bell struck and Zayn uncharacteristically stuttered a goodbye before scurrying off. 

  
  
  


  


When Liam ran over to his bag during lunch, taking a water break from football practise with the boys, he was met by the narrowed eyes of nearly every girl in the school. They weren’t standing near him, they were all sat in their normal places in their regular groups, but they were all talking about him. 

Liam was the talk of the school at the time. Danielle had not taken Liam’s sudden break up lightly and was convinced that he had cheated. So naturally, she had told everybody. 

So when people had seen him and a boy sitting in the back of the class laughing, accidentally brushing fingers and then blushing, people had jumped to the obvious conclusion. 

Luckily for Liam and Zayn, nobody was dumb enough to say anything about it to their friends, let alone Louis, Harry, Niall or Josh. So, people’s speculations stayed in their own heads, but they all knew they were thinking the same thing. 

They knew. They knew what Liam was barely even figuring out himself. 

They knew that there was something going on between the two boys. 

As if his name were called, Zayn walked past the side of the oval, cigarettes in hand, walking towards the school gate to go have a smoke outside the grounds. 

“Hey,” Liam raised his hand in a subtle wave and curled his lips slightly. 

His face fell though as Zayn shoved past him with a “Piss off” and no backwards glance. 

Liam swallowed the knot in his throat, ignored the weight in his chest and ran back off the middle of the oval as if nothing had happened. 

_Maybe he’s just in a bad mood. Maybe he just doesn’t want to talk to me in front of other people._ Liam tried desperately to reassure himself. 

“What d’ya reckon Liam?” Niall’s voice shattered Liam’s thoughts and brought him back into reality. 

“Uhm, sorry what?” Niall just laughed at Liam’s uncharacteristic lack of focus. 

“Josh reckons we can beat those private school thugs on Friday night, what d’ya reckon?” 

Liam just chuckled and threw his arms around his two mates, “Hell yeah. I hear there’s a party afterwards too.” 

Niall’s face lit up. Josh was the socially organised one of the group, so he filled the boys in. 

“It’s at Lisa’s place. Two hours after the game. BYO. No plus ones. Nobody from outside of our school. The usual.” 

“Fantastic!” Niall literally leapt for joy. That boy was far too keen for a party for someone who consistently failed to hold his alcohol. 

“Okay boys, no more piss-farting around. Back to training”, Tim was blunt and the whole squad got the message. The group of teenaged boys immediately straightened their backs, closed their mouths and faced their coach. “First game on Friday and I think we can win it. Actually, I know we can win it. We’ve got a good team. Good skills. You’ve worked hard on your fitness…” 

Liam slowly, but surely zoned out when he caught the site of a very small red glow under a tree beside the oval. Zayn stood huddled in his jumper, puffing out smoke into the chilly air. Liam just watched. The other boy was about two hundred metres away and Liam could just make out that he was not happy about something. His shoulders were slouched and he kept kicking what were probably rocks. His whole demeanour screaming ‘piss off and leave me alone’. 

“… training. So let’s finish up with the three on two drill. And remember boys, watch your defensive shapes, quick transitions and make sure you use your first touch appropriately. Liam, take them over.” 

Liam called out for his teammates to follow him over and he instructed one of the younger boys to grab the bag of red and blue bibs. Liam ran around, doing no less than what was required of him, but no more either. He couldn’t help but stop every minute to watch Zayn light a second, third and fourth cigarette. He could see Zayn was watching him out of the corner of his eye as well. It wasn’t the boy’s usual smoking spot, so he was obviously there to see Liam. 

When the whistle blew and coach sent them off to the showers, Liam expected that Zayn would still be waiting to talk to him, but the boy had left just as training finished. 

  
+++

  


“C’MON GRAMMAR” A young boy dressed in his Wolverhampton Grammar school jersey and track pants screamed from the sidelines as his school’s captain kicked a ball that sped past a helpless Josh and hit the back of the net. 

The boy jumped around and screamed breathlessly as the scoreboard noted the change. It now read “St Peters 1 – W Grammar 1”. 

Louis Tomlinson raised an eyebrow as the boy seated beside him continued to jump and scream and leap for joy. 

“Mate, shut up.” Zayn leant across to him, “There’s still ten minutes left.” 

The boy screamed out for his school team one more time before sitting back in his chair with a greasy stare locked on the three boys and two girls sitting next to him in the bleachers. 

Zayn adjusted his scarf and sat back into the hard wood, nestled between Eleanor and Lisa. As always, Eleanor was in inappropriate clothes for the cold weather and she pulled a small cardigan out of her bag and threw it across her stick thin legs. Lisa was the girl that Harry was currently sleeping with, which meant that she was around a lot and always hanging off of him: Harry would surely tell her to piss of after the party she was hosting that night. 

“This is so boring,” Harry muttered from two seats down, gesturing his hand at the players on the field. 

The St Peters players looked helpless. They had been in the lead since the first five minutes of the game and had played an almost entirely defensive game since that point. It was still the first game of the season and a full-fledged attack was not an option, as their bodies weren’t used to the game enough yet. 

Zayn watched as they panted and trudged back to their captain, whose posture and focus made him stand out like a flashing neon sign in the middle of the field. 

Liam addressed his teammates, telling them that this was their first game and if they weren’t prepared to push now and make a mark on the competition, the rest of the season was going to be tough and pointless: it was now, not later. 

“Zayn?” Eleanor clicked her manicured fingers in front of the boy’s face, snapping him out of his stare. “Do you wanna go for a smoke or no?” 

“Ahhh, I actually want to watch the rest of the game, because Liam’s playing really well and he’s going to win it for them, because that’s who he is and he won’t let them lose” was what Zayn wanted to say. His words didn’t get past “actually” before he stuttered slightly and nodded, getting out of his seat to follow the others. 

A few minutes later, after squeezing through a small, but loud crowd of overly aggressive and passionate peers, the small group stepped outside of their school’s gates and pulled out their decks. 

Cigarette in one hand and eyes pretending to look focused on the conversation, Zayn’s ear strained desperately to hear any indication of what was happening in the game. He had come to the conclusion that he had feelings for Liam, but had made the choice to decide not to act on them. Actually, he was never going to speak to Liam again, but it didn’t mean that he didn’t care. 

Liam cared about this football game, so Zayn did too, even if he would never admit it. 

Everyone heard a loud roar of a crowd and a whistle indicating that a goal had been scored: nobody knew which school or who kicked it, and none of them appeared to care. 

“We should head to mine,” Lisa flicked her cigarette butt to the ground and stepped on it, “… get ready. Everyone should be turning up in an hour.” 

“Right, we’ll meet you there,” Louis snaked an arm around Eleanor’s waist and nodded for Zayn to follow them as Harry walked off with his hand on Lisa’s back. 

  
  
  


  


Drinks, high-fives, hugs and more drinks were the things that Liam Payne was offered when he walked in the front door of Lisa’s dad’s house. The house was huge, hedges fencing off a large front and back garden as well as the extravagant home on the outskirts of town. 

“Great game mate, knew you’d bring it home,” one of Liam’s teammates remarked as he clapped his captain on the shoulder and headed off to find more alcohol. 

Liam thanked everyone who commented on his fantastic game and spoke briefly to an array of people as he made his way to the kitchen. However, he got caught up when one of the boys from the year level below wanted to know every single thought that went through Liam’s head from when he addressed the team to when he kicked the winning goal to when the siren blew fifty seconds later. 

Niall ran ahead and met Liam in the lounge room with drinks in his hand for the two boys and himself just as the younger boy skipped away from Liam. 

“Thanks Ni,” Liam nodded at the drink handed to him. 

“You’re ‘right,” Niall responded, as Josh snatched one of the two remaining drinks in the Irish boy’s hands. The music was tremendously loud and the constant doof-doof made it hard to hear anyone, but a bit of guessing work and a loud voice allowed conversations to continue. 

“Harry’s with Lisa now,” Josh pointed out and the other boys followed his line of sight through the dark to the couch on the other side of the lounge. Lisa was kneeled on Harry’s lap with her hands in his hair while his roamed her back underneath her shirt. 

“Aw man, I didn’t need to see that twat hooking up with your ex.” Niall groaned at the sight before him. Josh’s face fell. 

“Then don’t look,” Liam commented, trying to stop Josh from watching the train wreck and returning his focus to his drink until Niall burst out laughing and grabbed Liam’s arm for his attention. 

“Did … kill … fish… or …?” The heavy bass of a new song drowned half of Niall’s words out. 

“WHAT?” Liam had to practically yell. 

“I SAID DID YOU KILL MALIK’S GOLDISH?” the blonde boy managed through the music and his laughs. 

Liam’s eyes returned the couch, but this time, fell on Zayn. The boy was glaring at him like he really had killed a pet of his or something. 

Zayn had made himself near furious when he’d spent the first hour of the party scanning the room desperately for the other boy. His woefulness and inability to just fucking forget about him (as well as a few drinks) had made him want to punch Liam in the face and scream at him for making him like this again. 

Liam was still complete unsure as to why Zayn had gone from talking to him everyday to watching him from afar at training and greasing him off at parties. He gestured subtly towards outside to Zayn and excused himself from his friends. 

He sat his empty drink on the kitchen bench as he walked out the back door and around the side of the house, which was completely deserted along with the rest of the backyard. It was just too cold. 

Zayn trailed ten metres behind, catching a quick glimpse of Liam turning the corner and followed him into the dark. As he rounded the edge of the house he pretty much bumped into Liam who was standing arms folded. 

Zayn waited silently for his eyes to adjust while Liam asked strongly, “What did I do wrong?” 

Liam watched Zayn mull over his thoughts and lean back on the wall. He tapped his foot impatiently until Zayn finally sighed and started talking. 

“I trust you to not repeat anything I tell you,” Zayn started and the other boy nodded, “Okay, well you know how I told you I moved schools because I hated the people there? Well, that’s true, but there’s more to it.” Zayn shifted uncomfortably against the brick wall under Liam’s slowly softening glare. “I got teased every day for a couple of years and I couldn’t take it anymore.” 

Liam relaxed his body and took a step closer to the other boy and asked why with a cautious tone. 

“I’m gay. Well, okay I’m not gay, but I’m bisexual. But I got teased about being gay even though I’m not, I just like both, I don’t –“ the dark haired boy let his words trail off before he scared Liam. He was sure that Liam was going to punch him or call him a “fag” or laugh at him, but the boy’s usually soft features were creased into a frown; he looked confused. 

“Does that mean that you…” Liam’s thoughts raced instantly to all the times that he and Zayn had flirted or touched lightly and Liam had thought he was just making it all up. He cleared his throat, “that you, uhm… me?” 

For the first time in his life, Liam was glad to see Zayn’s arrogant, all-knowing smirk, because it meant that yes, yes he did like him. 

Although the smirk didn’t stay for long, because Liam closed the gap between them as fast as he could and pressed his lips to Zayn’s. 

Both boys froze momentarily, eyebrows raised in surprise, lips connected, until Zayn remembered how to move and hooked an arm around Liam’s waist and pulled his body to press flush up against his own. When the other boy opened him mouth slightly in surprise, Zayn cocked his head before starting to move his lips roughly against the other boy’s. 

Liam felt his blood rushing through his body and to his crotch at a million miles an hour. He continued to push his body up against Zayn’s, meshing their lips tighter and tighter. Zayn tugged on Liam’s lower lip slightly with his teeth and ground his hips up to meet Liam’s just as both boys heard the back door open. 

Liam stood back quickly with wide eyes and puffy lips, both boys staring silently and trying to catch their breaths. 

“Maybe this is a bad idea?” Zayn’s words were frantic, but his voice was deep and more rough than usual. 

Just as Liam opened his mouth to rebut, Louis walked around the corner, flicking his lighter in front of the smoke hanging out of his mouth and sucking in the first drag. 

“What the fuck are you doing here, Payne?” Louis almost laughed, not quite sure why Zayn and Liam were talking or in the same place. “Shouldn’t you get back inside to your cheer squad?” 

Liam looked hurriedly at Zayn who looked like he was never going to speak again, then growled slightly before shoving past Louis making sure to give his shoulder a fair whack. 

Louis watched Liam’s back head towards the door then turned to face Zayn, who was facing the ground, hands in his pockets. 

Louis took another drag and leant languidly against the wall, eyebrows raised at Zayn in anticipation. “So are you going to tell me what the fuck just happened?”


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a shortish chapter I know (only about 3k words) but it gets the ball rolling again :)  
> Hope you enjoy!

  
+++

  


“Can I bum one?” Zayn still hadn’t lifted his gaze from the pebbles beneath his shoes, “left my deck inside.” 

Louis handed him a cigarette and Zayn briefly touched his freezing fingers as he grabbed it. He hadn’t realised how cold it really was outside. The two friends stood silently as Zayn tried to steady his racing heart and contain his adrenaline rush from almost being caught snogging another boy, let alone Liam, and Louis blew smoke from his own cigarette at the first few snowflakes that were starting to fall. 

“It’s fucking freezing out here,” Louis started, “and it’s also bloody deserted. So why were you out here with Liam?” 

Zayn panicked. He felt his stomach flip thrice and a solid lump settle in the middle of his throat. 

“He um, asked me to come out here,” Zayn was going to try and tell the truth as well as he could without telling the whole truth: that way he was less likely to get found out lying. “So I followed him out here and uhm…” 

Louis raised both of his eyebrows and put on a sassy pout, indicating his impatience at Zayn’s stuttered and slurred words. 

“He came onto me.” _Shit_. 

“What?” Louis’ jaw dropped open and his hands dropped to the side of his body, his cigarette falling of the stony floor. 

_Shit_ , Zayn thought again. 

Actually, his mind was just a continuous string of _shit shit shit fuck dick shit shit shit shit._

The words that had come out of his mouth had not been entirely incorrect, but they were definitely had the potential to be life ruining for Liam. Zayn frantically thought of what he could do, but all he could think of was how he needed to save himself and how “just kidding” probably wouldn’t be overly convincing. The only thing Zayn knew in that moment was that he was not unhappy at his new school and he would do everything to avoid being banished and tortured again. 

“He tried to kiss me,” Zayn continued to twist the real story. “Then I told him to piss off and then you came.” 

Blood was rushing at a thousand miles an hour through Zayn’s chest and he waited impatiently as Louis’ face showed every emotion from disgust to amusement, shock to anger and deviousness. 

Zayn took a hurried jump backwards when his friend threw his head back in laughter. Louis cackled, spluttered and then cackled again. 

“No way! Liam Payne is a fag, who would have guessed,” Louis threw his arm unknowingly around his suddenly guilt-stricken mate, “…. Me probably.” 

The brown haired boy laughed at his own humour before walking with Zayn towards the door. 

As Zayn stepped up the stairs to re-enter the party, Louis clapped a hand on his shoulder, asking “You alright though mate?”. 

The dark skinned lad couldn’t muster up a sound any more complex that a slight squeak, accompanied by a nod.  
  


  


  


“The fuck did everybody go?” Zayn finally made his way back into the party. Though, there was not much remaining of the party. He must have spent at least a couple of hours, freezing his ass off and contemplating his life on the back stairs. 

He felt absolutely awful. He had ruined Liam’s life. 

Zayn ran around the twenty-odd people left at the house in search of Liam, but he couldn’t actually ask anyone if they’d seen him. 

Eventually, he did find Liam. Liam was sitting on the edge of the upstairs bathroom bathtub. He lifted his head and revealed puffy eyes when Zayn walked in. 

Liam straightened up immediately and wiped his eyes, “Piss off Zayn. Don’t want to see you right now.” 

“Why not? I’m sorry for telling you, I’m sorry that we kissed.” Zayn wasn’t sorry at all though, he just wanted Liam to stop crying, because as hard as he was trying to cover it up, small whimpers and stray tears kept falling out of him. 

“I don’t care about that. I’m glad you told me, I’m glad we kissed,” Liam explained, getting obviously angrier and angrier. “I’m fucking pissed that you told Louis.” 

“I didn’t-“ 

“Don’t fucking lie to my face, you prick,” Liam laughed out, not from humour but with a hint of disbelief that Zayn was trying to get away with what he’d done. 

“What did he do to you?” Zayn didn’t admit anything, he just sat next to Liam. 

“He walked past me and made kissing gestures and then called me a faggot and I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t even have a comeback, I just stood there.” Liam’s tears had started again. Zayn tried to shuffle closer to him, but the other boy pushed him away. 

His pushing was a fruitless exercise though, because the second he started crying harder, Zayn overpowered him and wrapped his arms around him so he was crying onto Zayn’s chest. 

“I’m so sorry Liam.” 

Liam sniffed and cried more and apologies weren’t going to fix anything. 

“I’m gonna try and fix this okay. I’m gonna fix this so that neither of us get any crap.” I’m going to fix this, Zayn chanted in his head, but he had no idea how or if it was even going to be possible. But he would say anything in that moment, anything to make the usually strong-minded, bulletproof boy in his arms stop crying. 

“Let’s fix you up and get you home.” Zayn suggested, pulling Liam to his feet and passing him a tissue box that sat on the polished countertop. 

They couldn’t leave the room together, because that would just add more speculation and more wood to the ‘Liam and Zayn are gay’ fire. So, Zayn left with a squeeze of Liam’s hand and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. 

Maybe everything would be okay. 

  
+++

  


Liam rolled over to see that the time was 2:06; squared off little red numbers on his bedside table told him so. 

He had his first rep football game the next morning, but after the incident with Zayn earlier that night, he just could not sleep. He tossed and turned and this was the latest he’d ever been up before a game. 

He knew that Zayn had said he would fix it. He didn’t want Zayn to fix it, he wish he just hadn’t bloody said anything in the first place. Zayn of all people should have known what it would do to Liam’s reputation. 

This wasn’t just his reputation on the line as well, this was his sanity and his self-respect. If he was going to get bullied for the rest of high school he didn’t know what he would do. 

All he knew was that it would be one spectacular fall from grace and he detested Zayn Malik for pushing him over the edge. 

  
+++

  


“Jesus mate, you look like shit,” Niall noted, taking his eyes off doing up his football boots to acknowledge Liam’s entrance and poor appearance. 

“Just lost control a bit last night, I’ll be right,” Liam demanded of himself that he put on a strong face and lead his team to the first victory of the season. 

Representative football was incredibly important to Liam, because it was where the scouts came; it was where he would get noticed. So, he made a promise there and then that he wouldn’t let any gossip or any gorgeous, raven-haired boys get in the way of his dream to be a professional athlete. 

Liam squirted water from a drink bottle over his face to freshen up and geared up in his uniform before leading his side out on the ground. 

Nobody else asked any more questions, not even Niall and Josh, who looked focused and ready. Everybody looked focused and ready… that’s what Liam loved about this team, about elite sport. 

The referee blew the whistle and the boys assumed their positions on the pitch, ready for the kick off. Liam took his position as centre forward and the game was underway. 

Liam pushed his body harder than his ever pushed before, running endlessly up and down the field, weaving his way through and around opposition players, kicking the ball with ferocity he didn’t know he had in him. He scored three goals and the opposition were left with none. 

Liam was cheered off the ground, surrounded by his team mates. They applauded and whistled and chanted for their champion captain and Liam couldn’t take the smile off of his face. It wasn’t the first time he had felt like a champion, like an elite player with a serious future, but it was the first time he _knew_ it. 

  
+++

  


The rate at which rumours and gossip spread always seemed to amaze people. The fact that they would talk so much and so intently about people they weren’t friends with or weren’t associated with. 

Everybody always knew his name and everybody always knew this business. 

On the first day back at school after the notorious party, Liam was both pleased and angry that words travelled so fast. 

When Liam walked through the gates of the school, a small group of girls sat up from the bench they were crowded around and ran over to Liam, faces lit by smiles. 

The twisted their hair and smacked their gum while they helplessly flirted with the boy who had apparently kicked three goals on the weekend and they wanted to know _all_ about it. Though, Liam wasn’t one to pump his own tires. Just kidding. Liam gloated and Liam exaggerated, retelling the game from whistle to whistle, revelling in the way that the girls moved around him and idolised him and so clearly wanted to be the only girl that Liam cared about. After a solid ten minutes of flirting and being flirted with, Liam said goodbye to the pack of star-struck, swooning girls and waltzed off to his locker. 

Walking through the hall, Liam noticed something weird. It was as though every second person wore a different facial expression, but everyone was watching him. Some were watching with amazement and admiration, while the other half were looking with disgust. 

Liam just smiled at the ones who looked like they weren’t going to punch him and made his way to get his books, where he was met by Niall and Josh who were two of the people who didn’t seem to hate him for no explained reason. 

“Hey mate, everyone’s talking about the game today,” Josh informed him. 

“Yeah that was sick, where’d that come from ay?” Niall threw an arm around his mate, “Looks like someone’s gonna get noticed this year I reckon.” 

Liam smiled and thanked his friends, noting that he couldn’t have done it without all of Niall’s score assists and that Josh had also played exceptionally, disallowing the other team to score. 

The three lads were their own team within whatever team they were in. It was all about those three, it always was and it always would be. The pack made their way across the courtyard after grabbing their books and headed towards their Spanish class, which was in a shitty portable at the back of the school. 

When they walked into their class and resumed their normal seats at the back of the room, Liam noticed the same trend that he’d noticed in the hallway: half of the people were greasing him off and half of the people were in awe and giving him googly eyes. 

Spanish went by with a breeze and the three boy managed to get all their work on conjugating verbs in nominative and accusative cases done as well as fitting in a fair bit of banter and loud laughing. 

Liam’s next class was Chemistry, which he had with only Josh. Niall had long given up on every specialist class in the science faculty and had resorted to taking what was essentially mainstream or beginner science. Niall’s class consisted of making things burn and making mixtures bubble, while Josh and Liam focused on the Stoichiometric ratios of the formula in front of them and hovered over their calculators, pens hanging out of their mouths in concentration, trying to work out the relative atomic mass of unknown element and identifying it against the periodic table. 

Liam came up with 158.6, but Josh reminded him that he needed to subtract the atomic mass of Yttrium first and they found the answer to be 69.7. 

“The answer is 69 and it’s Gallium and Gallium and Yttrium spells GAY,” Josh chortled immaturely and Liam asked the universe if this was some kind of sick joke. 

After being subtly reminded of Friday night by the universe, Liam spent the rest of the class worrying about would come of the Zayn telling Louis that they kissed. 

At least, Liam though, At least if I’m going through it, Zayn will too. 

And although that was a horrible thing to have to put Zayn through, Liam was glad that he wouldn’t be in it alone and he couldn’t stop thinking about Zayn grabbing his hand and kissing his cheek and wondering if maybe, just maybe the two would become an item and really fight through the bullshit together. 

However, when the bell rang and Liam returned to his locker, he was surprised to find a piece of paper with “faggot” scrawled in black marker taped to his locker. 

He pulled it down immediately and scrunched it up, turning to face a laughing Louis and Harry. This fact wasn’t surprising at all, that they were the culprits, but what really hurt was that Zayn was standing beside them, not laughing, but still with them. 

They were turning against Liam but leaving Zayn unharmed, un-mocked and still in their flanks. Liam had never felt more confused or outnumbered in his life. 

He shot Zayn a questioning, hurt-filled look, but Zayn did nothing but avert his eyes. 

Liam was alone, Josh and Niall having run to the football field to pick up Niall’s track pants that he left in the gym on Friday. He stood alone and mocked in the middle of the crowded corridor and watching in horror as Louis started pulling random people out of the crowd, telling them something, then pointing at Liam. 

Liam didn’t have to be a lip reader to know that Louis was telling these people that he had kissed Zayn. He was received horrible looks from his peers as they learned the truth. Most just stuck up their nose or raised an eyebrow, but some seemed to grow hateful in an instant. 

It was then that Liam realised that Zayn must have thrown him under the bus. Zayn had told Louis that it was all Liam. There was no other explanation for why they were leaving Zayn alone. 

It was because they didn’t know about Zayn. 

  
+++

  


Earlier that day, Zayn had tried to rectify his mistake, in fairness. When he had turned up to school and Harry and nudged him, asking with eyebrow’s rasied how Liam was the other night, Zayn had stuck his nose and acted confused. 

“You know I was joking right?” he turned to Louis, but Louis wouldn’t have any of it. 

“Bullshit. I saw the way that Liam looked when I found you too. He looked like a dear caught in headlights: both of you did.” Louis turned to walk towards his locker to start the day, but Zayn followed. 

“Yeah, I was drunk, we were just chatting. Didn’t expect to see you.” 

“You really think I’m that stupid, Malik?” Louis put his hand on his hip and stopped walking with an eyebrow cocked sassily. “If that’s your explanation then, explain to me why both of you had puffy lips and, oh yeah, this.” 

Louis leant toward Zayn and lifted up his t-shirt, spinning him around and revealing a matching set of scratch marks on his back. Zayn didn’t even know they were there. 

How the fuck had he missed that. 

“I hooked up with a girl after you left,” Zayn explained. 

“No you didn’t. The only girls there were Lisa and Eleanor and you wouldn’t dare. Plus, why are you getting so defensive…” The other boy was starting to get highly suspicious now, “Liam clearly kissed you and you seem to be defending him so unless you actually want to initiating it… because I can tell that it wasn’t just a quick kiss, I know you kissed back.” 

Zayn stop wide-eyed with fear and all he could think of in that split second was that he couldn’t go through getting teased again. 

“Like I said, he started it. I was just super drunk.” He continued his lie. 

“That’s what I thought,” Louis smiled mischievously, glad that he had manipulated Zayn into surrendering Liam. He knew that they had clearly hooked up, but he wasn’t going to give Zayn hell as long as he continued to give Louis the ammunition he needed to finally crack Liam Payne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I smell drama.


	4. Chapter Four

  


Two weeks later...

  


Liam was used to being called names. It was what came with being at the tip-top of social hierarchy. Though, the taunts he had previously received were offhand derogatory comments fuelled by jealousy. These types of taunts, Liam usually took as compliments, because he knew the words thrown at him were untrue, the accusations unrealistic: he always pitied the taunters. They were only saying those things to maybe feel a little bit better about themselves. But this was a whole new level, this was cruel, this was different... true and this hurt. 

It wasn’t just the words hurled nastily at him in the hallways and the judging eyes in class. The slurs on the field and the notes on and in his locker as well. It was awful and it sucked, but he could deal with it. Being called a "fag" wasn't a nice feeling, but having to suffer in silence and solitude was the hard part. Liam was used to laughing in the face of anyone who said anything mean to him and then punching them in the face or the stomach. He couldn't this time now though. He didn't know why it was any different, but it just was. It was different because the words thrown resonated in Liam's ears and twisted in his stomach. 

And while Liam's life crashed around him, Zayn was free to roam the campus in Louis' flanks without ridicule and that made Liam's blood boil. 

He didn't hate Zayn; he couldn't hate Zayn. It was the situation he was in that he hated, or rather, had been left in. All he could do was watch Zayn with hurt from across the courtyard, watch the way he sat laughing and smoking with Louis and Harry and company. He could watch Zayn laugh, but he couldn't hear it. He could watch Zayn blow out smoke, but he couldn't smell the constant stench of cigarettes that lingered on every part of Zayn. 

Zayn had hurt him unforgivably, but he still had feelings for him. The more time he spent in pain, watching the other boy from a distance, the more he missed him and the further he fell for him - or just realise how much he really did care for the guy. It was scary how easily Liam would let him back into his life with open arms if Zayn wanted back in. 

And _that_ , out of everything, was what was so fucked up. 

  
  


Liam was sat under a tree on the furthest side of the school oval. Ever since Louis had taken it upon himself to make Liam's life a living hell, there was no other form of escape. Liam had tried fighting back, he had tried defensive retorts, offensive retorts, he had tried punching Louis right in the middle of his smirk-bearing little face, but none of it changed a thing and he was always welcomed back the next day with a new wave of taunts and looks. He thanked his lucky stars that he still had such amazing friends and laughed internally at how horrifically his life had changed.None of the drama had faltered the smile on Josh's face though or the jokes and guffaws that so frequently fell from Niall's mouth. 

The two boys stayed constantly by Liam's side now and were very quick to tell everyone and anyone who said anything rude to Liam to "get fucked". 

"Nah mate, it's fucked. I don't care who the fuck they are or if what they say is true or not. They just can't say shit like that. I don't care who you shag, so why do they..." Niall had ranted when Liam had begged him to leave someone alone who had called him names. 

"I didn't have sex with him, god." Liam defended, but Niall had just shrugged as if it didn't make a difference to him. 

Banter under the tree was of a completely different tone though. They laughed and bitched at and about other people at school, things they'd seen at parties - Niall and Josh that it, as Liam didn't attend any form of social gathering anymore - and football teams they were yet to conquer. 

However, when the bell sounded, Liam was left with two claps on his back and a lump in his throat. It was fourth and final period on a Wednesday, which was English class by Liam's timetable. What was previously his favourite class was now the one he dreaded most of all. 

He was only pushed twice on the way to class, which wasn't too bad really. He didn't even get yelled at, which was lucky because he was already stressed and would have almost definitely broken down in tears if one more person called him something Liam didn't want to repeat, even if only in his head. 

The second he pushed though the door into his English class, everyone turned to face him and their facial expressions changed to the furthest emotion from admiration: something worse even that disgust. 

Amidst everything, Liam couldn't help but be surprised at how strongly everybody opposed homosexuality. He expected a select few to behave in such a disrespectful way, but rather it had turned out the the select few were the supportive ones and even they were too afraid of ridicule to speak their opinions to defend the poor boy. Their only form of support, the only reason Liam knew those select few weren't appalled by him, were the sneaky, comforting smiles from a distance. 

_People suck_ , Liam thought as he took his old seat, not the one next to Zayn. The change back had been immediate. The second Liam saw Zayn standing in Louis' flanks while he was confronted and verbally abused, he decided to distance himself from Zayn. He didn't want to do it, but he had to. The thing Liam wanted more than anything in the world at that time was to have Zayn sit him in his lap and tell him that everything was going to be okay. Promise that they would get through this together and that Zayn would make it all stop if it was the last thing he did. Liam wanted Zayn to take care of him like he had in the bathroom the night they kissed, but he wanted him to not break his promises this time. 

Sadly for Liam, there was no 'this time' and he watched wearily as Zayn strode in full of confidence and took his seat at the back of the room and immediately struck conversation with the girls around him. 

Little did Liam know, it was faux confidence and Zayn had never felt so miserable or guilty in his life. More so than when he was himself being bullied for liking to same sex... watching Liam go through all of this because of him was torture, whether he had feelings for the boy or not. 

Though, he didn't have the balls to say anything to Liam, because that would be too incriminating: he would be cast the same glares and thrown the same nasty names if he were to join Liam. And as painful as watching the sliver of remaining hope fade from Liam's eyes each time he walks past him without a word is, nothing could be worse than going through what he went through at his old school all over again. He felt like a horrible person... he was a horrible person, but he needed to do this for himself and for his family. Liam would survive. 

Just as Zayn uttered that final thought in his head though, that Liam would survive, he watched out of the corner of his eye and one of the boys in their class, who previously had never spoken to or with Liam, started making kissing faces in front of Liam and patronisingly asking him out and asking for a snog. Liam's brown eyes did not give the boy any attention as they faced the hands folded in his lap and eventually the boy gave up with an offensive slur and a cruel chuckle. 

Zayn continued to watch Liam painstakingly, seeing so much of his old self in the hurt boy. The way that Liam didn't even dare look up until about a minute after the taunting had finished so that he didn't have to face any unwanted interactions and the way that Liam's shoulders relaxed slightly when he did look up and realised he'd been, thankfully, left alone. Those were the signs of the scared, broken boy that Zayn used to be and he did nothing but sit comfortably and watch Liam becoming him. 

Liam felt eyes on him and apprehensively checked only to find Zayn worrying his bottom lip, creasing his eyebrows and watching him. Liam tugged his lips up ever so slightly in a pathetically hopeful smile, only to have the dark eyes on him flash away. Liam's stomach sunk and for the first time he was actually angry at Zayn. He had been sad that the boy he had befriended and more had abandoned him, but he hadn't really been angry at him yet. Except for now. Liam swallowed hard and straightened his back, pursing his lips in annoyance. 

How dare Zayn do this to him and then not have the decency to even shoot him a reassuring smile? That's all Liam needed, something to show him that Zayn still cared, that Zayn still liked him, even for Zayn to show a tiny little slither of remorse, but he was only being pushed further and further away and now he was snapping. No more of being pushed around, no more of letting Zayn walk all over him. If Liam was going down, Zayn was going with him and Liam spent the rest of the class ignoring the notes on the board and the texts in front of him and planning, instead, how and when and where to confront Zayn. 

When the bell sounded, Liam was indecisive still, but when Zayn gathered his books quickly and looked like making a run for it, Liam decided now and here. 

"Hey Zayn?" Liam called out across the classroom. "Can we talk after class? Don't leave." 

Every single set of eyes turned between the two boys, mouths opened and one girl let out a sing-song _"drrrrrrrrrrama!"_. A few snickered, but Liam just glared at them until they packed their shit and left with an intruiged look over their shoulder. Zayn was still frozen, backpack sitting on the table, packed and ready to be slung over his shoulder, though it never made it there and he was stuck standing wide eyed with one hand on one of the straps and the other leaning on the desk. 

When the room was occupied only by Liam, Zayn and their teacher, Liam asked politely if the two of them could chat quickly about something important. "I'll lock the door as we leave, promise." 

Their teacher pursed his lips momentarily before agreeing and leaving with a cautionary glare. 

"What- what's- how are you?" Zayn stuttered, still unmoving. 

"Fuck you," Liam spat back, making Zayn's eyes fly even further open in shock, "you little prick. You're just as much in this as I am, or at least you fucking should be. You know _exactly_ what I'm going through right now because of your old school and so you know how much all of this," Liam waved his hands around indicatively at the school, "is hurting me right now. I can't believe I let myself believe that you were actually a decent human being, because you are a fucking dick Zayn Malik." 

"'m sorry" was all Zayn could muster up, because Liam was right. 

"You're sorry?" Liam gave off a laugh of disbelief and threw his hands in the air, "Thank god, all of this is going on and my life is absolutely ruined but as long as you're sorry I guess nothing else matters." Liam's tone was patronising and sarcasting and he spat every last syllable at Zayn as he made his way closer and closer with each sentence. "It doesn't matter that I get pushed around every day, that I get called names every day." 

Liam made a point of getting right up in Zayn's face, lowering his body so he faced up and Zayn's hung head. 

"Fag. Queer. Prick. Cocksucker." Liam echoed his peers, hissing each word at Zayn with as much venom as when they are directed at him. 

"Not a very nice thing to deal with every day Zayn, but I'm sure you know that." Liam's tone relaxed and he started stepping away to give the guilt-stricken boy some space. "I didn't want it to come to this Zayn... I didn't want us to come to this. I'm sorry for getting so angry, but seriously man..." 

Zayn's already dark skin darkened on his cheeks and up the sides of his neck and Liam realised that he'd made Zayn feel bad enough. He took a deep, shaky breath and steadied himself: he didn't want Zayn to think he hated him after all. 

"Liam," Zayn started and he watched agonisingly as Liam flinched like he'd been hit when Zayn said his name, "I really am sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I feel so horrible. I don't know if you saw me today or any of the other days, but I've just been watching you feeling so sick for what I've-" 

"The fucked up thing is that," Liam interrupted, shaking his head to indicate that he didn't want to hear what the raven haired boy had to say, "I don't want you to say sorry or fix it, I just want-" Liam laughed at himself, "I just want you to say that you'll actually stick by me through all of this, because you know, we became such good friends. Even if you don't want to _be_ with me, like, that would hurt so badly, but I would understand. I just-" 

Liam lost his words and his train of thought and dropped his head as Zayn lifted his in realisation. Zayn heard the break in Liam's voice and he had watched the break in Liam's posture all day and he had seen the break in Liam's confidence for the past two weeks and Liam was broken. Liam was so broken and Zayn wanted to fix him. Zayn wanted to reach out and wipe the lone tear that was falling from Liam's wet eyes, he wanted to tell Liam that that wasn't the case and that he definitely did want to be with him. 

But that meant ridicule. And Zayn had promised himself. He had sworn to himself that he would not let himself be ruined again. 

And he's never felt like more of a selfish prick than when he picked up his bag and wordlessly walked passed Liam and out of the room without a second glance. 

  


+++

  


Niall and Josh had completely gone into panic mode when Liam didn't show up at the school gates half an hour after their last class had finished. They always met and walked home together or had a kick of the football, but Liam was nowhere to be seen. Both boys immediately and simultaneously jumped to the conclusion that Liam had been cornered by a group of kids that now hated him and was being attacked and ran off to find him. 

They weren't sure whether they were relieved or concerned when they found Liam sitting on the floor of his English classroom with tears silently falling down his face. It was such a weird thing to see Liam like this, so emotional. He had always been compassionate to those he cared about and he had always been sensitive and caring with his friends and anybody who was willing to be kind to him, but this was a different side to Liam. This was a dark side to Liam, a new dark side too. This wasn't there before, this had been put there by the couple of weeks of non-stop words and the taunts and the pushes and shoves. 

"Mate, what's happened?" Niall threw his bag by the door and ran over to crouch in front of Liam. Josh followed cautiously and Liam failed to respond, instead just continuing to cry into his hands. 

Niall very gently wrapped his hands around Liam's wrists and pulled them away from his face revealing puffy red eyes, but thankfully not bruised or bleeding eyes. Again, the two boys were unsure whether to be relieved or worried about the situation. 

"Who said what? I'll deck 'em, I swe-" Niall started, getting visibly, and what would have been comically if not for the situation, angry, but he was cut off by Liam choking out Zayn's name. 

"What?" Josh asked, exchanging a worried look with Niall. Neither of them had any idea how to deal with this and Niall jutted his head subtly at Josh as if to tell him to take it from here. 

"What happened mate? Did he say something or do something..." Josh's tone was both calming and concerned, "or are you just upset about him?" 

Liam shook his head, "I talked to him after class, I just g-got so sick of him avoiding me and leaving me alone through this and-" 

"You're not alone," Niall interrupted enthusiastically, "you still got us!" 

Liam smiled gently at his friend's attempt to make him feel better, but continued on with his story anyway, "-and I don't know, I just got really angry and I called him a prick and I asked him how he could leave me alone like this through all of this when the same thing happened to him at his old school." 

Niall and Josh didn't know about Zayn's reasons for moving, they didn't even know that the two boys were so close that they knew these things about each other. Until now, Niall and Josh had thought that Liam and Zayn had just been a mutual attraction kiss, rather than anything related to feelings. Liam continued, impassive towards their questioning looks. "He should know, he should know better than that than to just throw me under the fucking bus. And I get it because he didn't want to go through it again, but he promised me we would get through it together and then I come to school the next day and he's abandoned me and he won't look at me and-" 

Liam is drawing too many short breaths by the time he gets to the end of the sentence and he can't quite talk anymore and he just cries into Niall's shoulder until he can regain his composure enough to finish the story. 

"You're okay mate, so is that why you're upset?" Josh soothed and questioned. 

"Yes and no," Liam drew in another shaky breath and lifted his head from his knees, "After I talked to him- well, I yelled at him. But I told him how I felt and he just left he didn't even say anything. He just fucking left." 

"How..." Both boys had suddenly perked up and felt beyond baffled and uninformed, "How do you feel, Li?" 

"I really like him of course. You guys don't know this but we've been hanging out for a while and I asked him to stay by my side whether it was as a friend or more and he just walked out," Liam responded to Josh, but his confession was barely a whisper. 

"I'm sorry Liam." 

"Yeah you're too good for 'im mate." 

Niall and Josh exchanged a look above Liam's head as if to say _what the actual fuck is happening right now?_ , before picking Liam and Liam's backpack up and walking him to his place. He stopped crying, but he was wordless the whole trip. It was only a ten minute walk. Liam and Josh both have their licences, but both chose to walk most places just to maintain a general fitness. 

"Go rest up mate, we'll talk to you tomorrow." The two boys watched as Liam nodded wearily and dragged himself up the one step to his front door, unlocked the door and walked in. 

The second the door shut, Niall and Josh started analysing the situation. The both agreed that Liam was overly sensitive at the moment and obviously a little shattered that his crush didn't work out, if that was what it was: a crush, as well as being constantly bullied. They put the crying and the emotions down to Liam just being a little bit confused though. He was in the middle of working out his sexuality as well as losing his popularity and he was just a mess. 

Considering Liam had told them that Zayn clearly had no intentions of fixing anything for him, the two boys decided that it was up to them to restore a little bit of order and give Liam as much of his life back as they could. They could distract him with his trainings and put the pieces back together in the meantime. 

"Do you know where Zayn lives?" Niall asked Josh as they walked away from Liam's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the update is so short, I don't have an excuse it's just short, oh.
> 
> Thanks for reading and let me know what you think :)


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! Am I right? Sorry it took so long.  
> No excuses.
> 
> Hope you enjoy :) Always happy to hear what you guys think! x

Niall’s alarm forced him out of sleep much earlier than he wanted to be woken, but he reluctantly turned it off and made his way out of bed. It was a Saturday morning and that meant game day: representative football, outside of school, the real deal. He threw on a ratty old sweatshirt that brandished the name of a college in America that he’d never attended and never would. He tugged on a pair of track pants and his kicks and made his way to the game: downing a banana and an energy drink on the way.

The ground was only a short five minute walk from his home and when he arrived, Josh made a passing comment about the tired bags under his eyes as they made their way to the change rooms. The two boys had been up late, messaging each other, desperately trying to think up a solution to make their friend’s life a little easier, but were no closer to an answer than when they started.

The smell of boys, mud and deep heat was comfortingly familiar as they entered the change rooms, as well as the sounds of Liam Payne talking the team up and preparing tactics with the coach prior to the game. Although, the latter was not a familiarity they expected to encounter.  


Liam was fast solidifying himself as the most resilient person they knew: still ready to stand up and lead the team despite the fact that every second bloke on the team was scared he’d hit on them.

Niall didn’t have to do much to assure Liam but give him a small smile and quick pat on the back as he walked past him and then again as they ran out on to the field. Less had always been more with their friendship: a hug or a smile meant more than a lecture or a discussion.

Liam led the team out into the rain and onto the ever-muddier pitch and directed them through a quick warm up. He took a second to glance up at the stands and spotted a few familiar faces throughout the swarm of people, but not anyone he wanted to see. Especially not Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles rugged up in the stands. Louis sat with a take-away teacup snuggled in between his mitten-covered hands. They grinned at him as if they were up to something and Harry even gave a patronising wave that turned into a middle finger in the air after a few seconds. 

They were clearly there to mess with Liam, as it was a Saturday game, which had no affiliation with the school. There was no other explanation.  
So, when the ball kicked off, Liam was elsewhere with his thoughts and he took a moment to come back into focus when he alarmingly found the ball at his feet and two of the opposition players running toward him. 

He was Liam freakin' Payne though and with a quick flick of his feet and a little dance to the right, he was running around and away from the other players and streaming down toward his team’s forward line. He passed quick and sharp to one of the forwards, who lobbed it across to Niall who headed the ball toward the goal.

The goalie was still not quite awake either and it skimmed past the tip of his fingers and hit the back of the net. 

They were ten or so seconds in to the game, they’d had three possessions and they’d scored. Everyone ran over to Niall, jumped on him and patted him on the back, while Niall ran over to Liam.

“Fuckin’ genius you are. Holding the ball up then zipping past them,” Niall laughed, “How you pull that shit off I don’t know, but I love it!” 

Liam smiled weakly at his mate, but quickly looked up to the stands to see Harry and Louis laughing at their own jokes and Liam would have bet anything that they were at the expense of him.

 

  


"These benches are so uncomfortable," Harry whined, while the rest of the attendees at the game jumped up and screamed. Harry couldn't have cared less than Niall and Liam had just created a fantastic goal in the first few seconds, all he cared was that his arse was cold and the hardwood bleachers weren't helping. 

"Quit complaining, it's not that bad," Louis rolled his eyes and took another sip of his ever-cooling, milky tea. 

"Just because you have a cushiony arse to sit on..." Harry muttered under his breath. Louis cocked an eyebrow at him before punching him lightly. "So what are we actually doing here, Lou. It better be bloody worth it whatever it is. I mean, I know it's something to do with Liam, but fill me in." 

Louis tucked part of his fringe back under his beanie with mitten-clad fingers and sighed, resting his tea in between his thighs. 

"I'm just winging it really. I invited Zayn as well, I wanted to see if he would show up and what he would say because I don't know if I trust Zayn. I mean, he's a great friend and I trust him that way, I just mean that I think there's more between him and Liam than we think," he explained half-heartedly. If he was honest, he also wanted to see if he could fuck up Liam's focus on the game just by being there and it was definitely working. So, it was part malicious. "I'm gonna call Zayn actually..." 

Harry leaned his head closer to the phone Louis had pressed to his ear, trying to hear the conversation through the other side of the phone. He could hear the feint ringing followed a groggy moan of annoyance. 

"Louis what the fuck man, it's 9 o'clock on a Saturday morning. This better be good." 

"We're at Liam's football match. I thought you were coming?" Louis' voice was full of faux innocence and it went higher and Harry knew that was the voice that Louis used when he was up to something. 

Zayn seemingly perked up immediately, replacing the grain in his voice with something a little more careful, "Why are you at his game? I thought you were joking." 

"Nope, not joking. We're here. We're...." Louis paused briefly to read the scoreboard, "... like, five minutes into the game and it's 1-0. You can still get here for the second half." 

The boy on the other end of the line tried desperately to get a word in but he was ignored, "We've saved you a seat so you'll be here in about ten minutes. Ok. See you then Zayn." 

Louis hung up and Harry burst out laughing, covering his mouth with his hand when people turned to stare. 

"You're so bossy, Lou," Harry noted, meaning it as a compliment. Louis just gave him a quick smirk as if to say _I know_.  
  


  
  


Zayn trudged up the stairs of the bleachers and huffed loudly and deliberately as he sat himself next to Harry and Louis. 

"Zayn!" Harry smiled at him while Louis smirked. 

"You made it." 

"What the fuck are you... we doing here?" Zayn was not normally a morning person and the added stress of the situation he found himself currently in wasn’t helping. 

“Being a presence.” 

Zayn’s eyes narrowed at this, but he didn’t press the issue. He was still carefully playing the part of the victim. He would just about swear on his grandmother’s grave that Louis knew that Zayn was just as part of “the incident” as Liam was. He wouldn’t dare bet any money against the fact that Louis probably knew about his sexual preference by now. 

Though, he sat silently biting his tongue, because as long as Louis’ kept silent, so would he. The longer without confrontation the better. 

So he sat huddled close to Harry for warmth and watched the game. 

Liam was good. Liam was really bloody good. 

Zayn knew that of course, but to watch him playing representative football, to see him playing at such a high level but still dominating… it was so impressive. 

He found himself drawn into the game almost immediately. He’d grown up absolutely loving football, but had been basically forced to disown it when things got rough at his old school. This game was so fast-paced and exciting though; he fell in love with the game all over again. 

He even found himself jumping up and cheering with Liam slotted the final goal with ease, making his team the clear winners with the scoreboard reading 2-0 and the timer indicating less than a minute left. 

Louis and Harry were watching Zayn incredulously as he jumped and waved around, only to turn a deep shade of red and slowly sit himself back down when he was caught. 

They laughed and shit-talked their way down the bleachers to the field and ignored the flow of fans and family and friends heading towards the winning team, instead turning around and beginning to leave. 

“Louis!” The beckoned boy turned around at the sound of his name. “Wait up!” 

The last thing Louis expected to see was Josh Devine and Niall Horan bolting their way over. 

“Can we chat?” Josh asked, a serious tone still showing through his laboured breathing. “Just… us.” 

Niall pointed at Zayn and Harry before throwing a thumb over his shoulder, nonverbally telling them to piss off. 

“Sure thing.” Louis noted, nodding at the other two to leave his flanks. “What’s the problem, lads?” 

“You’re the problem, _mate_.” 

“What? Me?” Louis smirked, voice thick with faux sincerity, “You two must be wrong. I’m never a problem.” 

Niall bit back a " _fucking smartass_ ", while Josh put his arm across Niall’s chest to hold him back in case he pounced. He didn’t. 

“Look Louis, cut the shit.” Niall spat. “You need to stop this fuckin’ shit with Li and you need to tell that Zayn cunt to butt out of it too. Zayn’s just as much a part of this as Liam was, but for some bullshit reason he’s gettin’ away with it.” 

“Whatever do you mean?” Louis went as far as to bat his eyelashes and Niall wanted to shove his fist down his throat. 

“C’mon mate,” Josh started: the voice of reason, “Surely you know that they’d been hanging out together and then they kissed at the party. How blind are you? Zayn was equally involved. So if you’re not going to judge him, which you shouldn’t, then you have no right to be so cruel to Liam.” 

Louis sighed, shifting his weight to his other leg lethargically. “Of course I know that.” 

“Well?” Josh pushed. 

“Call off your attack dogs, Tomlinson.” 

Another sigh. “Fine, fine.” Yet another. “I will back off, but don’t you think the damage is done already?” 

The rhetorical question was left untouched as Louis span around and headed off to join his friends. Josh and Niall just stood there: torn between relief and guilt. 

Relief because maybe the shit would stop: guilt because they should have defended their friend much earlier. 

When they turn around though, they catch a glimpse of Liam looking sadly and apathetically at the ground between high fives, handshakes and forced smiles. 

Maybe much, _much_ earlier. 

+++

The two days back at school after Niall and Josh had spoken to Louis felt like the eye before the storm, but not knowing those clouds ahead were full of rain and wind and fury or just a light shower. 

They told Liam about their words with Louis straight after it happened and boy was Liam pissed. 

He raised his voice initially, frightening the two boys and everyone else in the victorious change-rooms, but then lowered his volume, replacing it venom in his tone. He spat at them, clearly trying to keep his nerve but shaking as he did so, angry that they hadn’t left it alone; upset that they went behind his back; worried sick that things would only get worse. 

Although, they didn’t. Things got better and after the first day when Liam had only had to endure a few sideward glances, he thought for a second that maybe it had all blown over: that it was last week’s news and that gossiping over Liam Payne’s sexuality was no longer the new black. 

Training was before school that day, so he was there bright and early, changed and warming up before anyone else had even showed their face. And training went okay. He heard a few of the lads whispering things about him, he heard his name in passing conversations, but stayed focused and Niall and Josh stay loyally at his side. 

After training, the team run into the change rooms while Liam finishes putting the footballs back into their mesh-bag home. He hands the bag to the coach with a smile and a farewell and runs over to the rooms. When he enters the door though, everyone stops to stare at him. 

James, one of the older midfielders who was always an unofficial leader and voice of the team, put his hand across Liam’s chest and blocked his entry through the door. He handed Liam his bag and Liam had no idea what was going on. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, laughing shakily. 

“No offense mate, but do you understand?” James’ reply is full of discomfort and a dash of sympathy. He nods his head back towards the change rooms indicatively. 

They didn’t want him getting changed with them. 

Liam looked frantically over James’ shoulder to see Niall and Josh looking just as shocked as he is and when he makes eye contact with the blonde, he becomes suddenly angry and goes to take a step towards James, but Liam silently calls him off with a small shake of his head. 

He turns his attention back to James, smiling weakly and nodding, taking his bag and leaving the change rooms without another word. 

Everything feels so silently heavy and uncomfortable that the second Liam is out in the corridor, he simply runs to his class. 

He finds a seat minutes before the bell goes to indicate the start of first period, but uses the time to calm and compose himself. 

He feels sick and his eyes and prickling with threatening tears. Football and sport were the only thing that Liam really cared about. He might portray to the school community that he cares about popularity and girls (and apparently guys) and rumours and rivalries, but all that matters is football. And it felt like the only thing he was sure of anymore was crashing down around him. Piece by piece the things he loved were being peeled away from him and he was being left bare and empty and embarrassed. 

Things only got worse when his Biology teacher walked in and tells him off for not being in uniform. Liam doesn’t even have the energy to retaliate and he’s too ashamed to explain why he’s still in his football gear when he’s asked if he has any valid excuses. 

Instead, he hangs his head when he’s sent out of class to go change. 

Anger and fear and shame and every horrible emotion just swells in his gut, but he tries to force it back down: keeping his cool as he enters the bathrooms. 

He was alone when he entered the change rooms but he still heads to the corner, silently changing his gym shorts for tailored pants and his singlet for his school shirt. He sat on the bench to tie his shoes when two boys come in in their PE uniform, clearly just finished class. They are unfamiliar to Liam, but there’s a very high chance that they know he is. They start talking and getting changed while Liam finishes up. 

“Keep your eyes to yourself, mate,” one of the boys yell across to him, the other letting out a cackle and giving his mate a high-five. 

Liam goes bright red; too wrecked to hide emotions anymore and they notice. 

Thankfully, he finishes tying his shoes, collects his things and goes to leave, but the larger of the two boys stands in his way. 

“Someone’s embarrassed!” he coos. 

“Shut the fuck up.” 

“Excuse me?” 

Liam instantly regretted replying, but he was honest-to-god fed up and he was going to have to stick up for himself one day. 

“I said shut the fuck up,” the two boys raised their eyebrows at each other and Liam smirked, “You’re not my type anyway.” 

And for that smartarse comment, Liam was met with two laughs and one punch right in the face. 

He staggered backwards and the other boys leave immediately: they needn’t say any more. 

Once Liam had regained his equilibrium and he opens his eyes, he stumbled over to the mirror and there is a good bruise coming up on his cheek already. 

He grabs a paper towel, dabbing the little bit of blood that’s seeped out and applying a wet towel to try and relieve the pain a little. 

Hunched over the sink, nursing a to-be black eye after the day that he’d had, he finally let a couple of tears free. 

He was tired and this was the lowest point. 

“Oh my God, Liam!” 

He turns around to see Zayn’s shocked figure standing in the doorway. 

_Great. Of all the people._

“What happened?” 

“What the fuck do you think happened?” Liam spat back while Zayn stepped closer cautiously. 

“I’m so sorry Liam.” Zayn reaches out to touch the other boy’s arm, but is shrugged away. His face contorts like he’d been punched too and he hangs his head, sighing and turning to walk away. 

Liam laughs incredulously. 

“Don’t you dare fucking walk away from me again, god!” 

Zayn stops, his beautiful, raven eyes looking just as tired as Liam feels. 

“What do you want me to do, Li? You just pushed me away.” 

Liam didn’t want to push him away, he wanted to pull him closer and have his beauty and his sensitive side and everything that is Zayn as close to him as possible; but he was also very hurt and this gorgeous boy before him was the one responsible. 

“It doesn’t mean I want you to go, fuck I don’t even know what I want,, but you can’t just walk away wordlessly.” Liam drops the towel at his eye back into his back and spins to lean against the porcelain sink. He folds his arms across his chest and calms his tone, “You really fucking hurt me the other day Zayn.” 

“I’m sorry, Li, I really am,” Liam couldn’t help but feel his heart jump a little whenever Zayn called him that, he couldn’t help but want to forgive him everything, but he had to stand his ground. “I know that won’t fix anything.” 

And Zayn was right. It didn’t change a thing and Liam’s eye was still bruised and throbbing and his reputation was still hurt irreparably. Silence fell across the two and in the midst of it, Liam poked his eye experimentally, wincing at the sharp pain. 

“Okay, seriously? Come on.” Zayn walked straight up to Liam, picking up his bag, taking his hand and dragging him out of the room. 

Liam tugged lightly, trying apathetically to pull his hand back, because he wanted to seem like he was resisting, but in all honestly he was relieved when his hand was not released. Zayn instead squeezed lightly and reassuringly: silently informing the other boy that he was not letting go. 

Liam had no idea where he was being led, but followed obediently all the way to the nurses office. 

“Can we get an ice pack please?” Zayn let Liam’s hand fall back to his side as they half-ran into the cramped, hospital-white room. The nurse sat behind a cluttered desk of pamphlets on everything from sexual health to mental disorders to anaphylaxis, boxes of band aids and roles of tape. 

She looked up from her paperwork, adjusting the glasses that sat on the bridge of her nose and jumping into action once she’d taken in Liam’s battered face. 

She was a tiny lady, barely up to Liam’s shoulder when she brushed past to access the freezer sat behind him. She tilted her neck to look up at him as she placed the ice pack on his eye. 

He winced slightly, but the nurse had moved her attention to the other boy. 

“Did you do this?” She pointed an accusing finger at Zayn. 

It wasn’t uncommon for Liam to come into the nurses office as the result of a punch, usually from Louis or boxing practise, so he didn’t really blame her for jumping to conclusions: she was half right. 

Zayn didn’t punch him, but he it was technically his fault. 

Liam thought briefly about pinning it on Zayn, because he knew the guy wouldn’t argue with the accusation. He’d probably just cop it on the shoulder, take the blame, because he knew he owed Liam. 

But he couldn’t do it. 

“No, no,” Liam insisted, “He didn’t hit me. I got a football to the face.” 

It was a shocking lie, but it was accepted as the truth as far as the nurse was concerned. She shrugged her shoulders, pausing momentarily before asking Liam for a few details to quickly jot down and incident report and writing them both an out-of-class pass. 

After a few minutes, she waved her wrist dismissively with a practised smile on her face, prompting the two to “scurry back to class.” 

“Thanks,” Liam mumbled almost inaudibly once they were out in the corridor. Zayn simply smiled shyly and handed Liam his bag. 

“No problem.” 

“Well, I’d better get-“ 

“Did you want to ditch the rest of the day with me?” Zayn butted in, eyebrows raised in a hopeful manner. “I mean, like, I’m ditching the rest of the day. If you… want… to join me.” 

His features were softened, his eyes were sparkling with prospect and Liam wanted nothing more than to just say yes. But Liam Payne was stronger than that and he still had a point to prove and he was still hurt. 

“I uhm,” _Good start, Liam_ “Not today. I still haven’t forgiven you.” 

Liam watched as the darker skinned boy pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, pursed his lips and shook his head: rejected. 

“Yeah, that’s er,” Zayn stuttered, scratching his head awkwardly, “I’ll see you in English?” 

Both boys nodded at each other. They paused uncomfortably for a brief moment, staring directly into one another’s eyes, before simultaneously spinning on their heels and heading off in opposite directions. 

As he walked away, Liam struggled to tie together everything that just happened to an emotion: tossing up between hurt, forgiveness, attraction and frustration; while Zayn walked away thinking that, although all hadn’t gone swimmingly, at least it was a start.


	6. Chapter Six

  
  
The cool air hit Zayn like a brick wall when he pushed aside the door and sauntered into the school quadrangle.  
  
He wasn’t going back to class and he wasn’t going back to Liam. He didn’t want to go home and he couldn’t help but feel stuck between places. Stuck between going and staying; stuck between doing the right thing and the wrong.  
  
It was tiring and he was so very unstable.  
  
That’s all he’d ever wanted though: all he’d ever craved was a stability and consistency in his life that so many people seemed to have and he never managed to grasp.  
  
It was as if everything was always up in the air, whether it was family, social, school, relationships. He felt like he was jumping from one thing to the next and it worked because he was just trying to avoid getting too attached or wanting something he couldn’t have.  
  
He kicked a defenceless rock along the ground with the toe of his heavy black boots and swallowed a longing to be normal.  
  
His anarchistic exterior and demeanour was almost oxymoronic. He ostracised himself because he longed to conform and to just be another figure in the sea of people that meshed seamlessly and contently every day. Though, because he wasn’t one of them, he decided to shove it up everybody by being dark and mysterious and god, it all seemed so stupid.  
  
And then there was Liam who was the epitome of conformity and of social hierarchy; he was a walking fucking cliché, but that was what Zayn longed for. He couldn’t help but think that Liam was the bridge between this teenage-dream iconoclasm and stability.  
  
It seemed incredibly ridiculous that he was preventing Liam from letting him back in by being dishonest. If making things right would help rectify things with him, wasn’t it worth the leap?  
  
Zayn dug his phone out from his pocket as he shoved past the school gates and headed down the road towards his usual café. He tapped away at his screen.

**hey lou. u rite to meet me at the cafe in fifteen?**

He replaced the phone in his hand with a cigarette and unbuttoned his school shirt, leaving a dirty white t-shirt underneath.  
  
He continued on his way, distracting himself with the puffs of smoke he blew from his lips float into the air and disappear.  
  
Just as he walked into the city centre his phone buzzed in his pocket and he read Louis’ message as he made his way across the paved landscape.

**Sure thing mate :)**

Zayn approached the small café that had become his little escape and a fantastic little discovery to be honest. He smiled at the waitresses to whom he’d grown familiar and threw his school jacket over the back of a chair that sat before the table furthest from everyone. It was outside and he was still a little chilly but he lit and puffed cigarette after cigarette until Louis sat at the chair opposite him.

“No Harry?” Zayn half smirked, half genuinely asked.

Louis rolled his eyes and hailed a waitress while Zayn sipped at the cooling black coffee that had been placed before him unordered.

He spent far too much time there.

“So what’s so important?”

“Did I say there was anything important?” Zayn leant forward slightly in his seat, “Just didn’t want to ditch alone.”

He slid his deck across the table in offering and Louis removed one of the white and orange sticks, lighting it between his barely-there lips.

Louis raised his eyebrows quickly and knowingly.

“You’re smoking twice as much as you usually do, which is quite impressive really, but you’re nervous about something.”

Nervous? Zayn didn’t think he looked overly nervous or agitated, but maybe he was chain smoking like an industrial chimney and if he really thought about it, maybe he had been bouncing his right leg and tapping his left thumb on the table for the past ten minutes.

With a sigh he resigned and put out his cigarette before looking up and facing Louis straight in the eye.

“I kissed Liam,” he admits shakily but bordering on determined: determined to make this right.

Louis lets out a bark of a laugh, clapping his hand over his mouth immediately – a habit he’d picked up from Harry.

He took a breath and waved his hand for Zayn to continue.

“I just,” Zayn resumed, “It wasn’t just him. I was a part of it too. I mean, we both got like really close in English. Well not _really_ close, but we sat together every day and he’s a really good lad and at the party it just happened. I told him that I’m into guys as well and he asked if that meant that I liked him and, fuck, I didn’t even reply but he knew, he just knew and then he kissed me and then you came out and well… you know the rest.”

He was almost out of breath by the time he finished and he combed a shaky hand through his hair, allowing his eyes to flutter closed momentarily to contain himself.

When he reopened them Louis looked stuck between shock and amusement before he came up with, “I get it man, like fuck whoever you want I don’t care,” he chuckled, “but Liam Payne? The guy’s a fucking prick.”

“He’s not all that bad, Lou.”

“That’s because you haven’t known him as long as I have. He’s full of himself. I bet the only reason he kissed you was because he knew you liked him, he’s a selfish prick who only cares about making sure everybody wants a piece of him.”

Zayn shook his head, “I don’t think he’s like that anymore.”

“Why are you defending him?” The golden skinned boy stubbed out his cigarette before folding his arms against his chest expectantly and Zayn started to get a little sick of his shit.

“I couldn’t tell you.” Dark eyes flittered the ground and the patterns of the cotton woven so very tightly to make the denim of his black jeans… anywhere but the piercing, accusing blue across the table from him.

“You can’t explain… or you won’t tell me?”

“I can’t explain,” Zayn nodded weakly.

“Fair enough mate. Do whatever you want, really. But you saw what happened to Liam when everyone at school found out about him liking cock and all.” Zayn couldn’t help but flinch and feel his blood boil, “If you want to have that too, well, then that’s up to you.”

And that was when Zayn realised that Louis wasn’t really that loyal to anyone except for maybe Harry and himself. Louis was watching out for Louis and maybe he was caught in the same place as Zayn: nonsensically pushing everybody away because nobody would let him in. That wasn’t really Zayn’s problem though.

Zayn’s focus had to be on Zayn and possibly also Liam.

It was horribly disappointing though, to sit across from your apparent best mate while he possibly threatens you. Zayn didn’t know what was going to happen with Louis.

He didn’t know if Louis meant that he was going to tell everyone or whether he was going to just play bystander to Zayn’s social demise should it come, but he knew that Louis wasn’t going to defend anybody on Liam Payne’s side of things.

Though weirdly enough, Zayn couldn’t help but feel relief that he had told the truth and he would face the consequences, whatever they may be and that Louis could have cared less about his sexual preference.

It seemed like having a shitty old torch in an endlessly dark field, but it was something positive and Zayn was going to take what he could get.

 

 

 

  
+++

_“Did you hear that Zayn kissed him?”_

As Liam strolled through the corridor to English class, his last class of the day thank god, he couldn’t help but overhear snippets of conversation. It wasn’t unusual for his name to be heard, but since he had become such a focus of ill-gossip, Liam had developed a habit of eavesdropping and trying to find out what everyone _really_ had to say about him.

_“Zayn’s gay too.”_

The gossip of the day seemed to be more focused on Zayn and he couldn’t help but think that he’d been sure the kiss incident had washed away with the tide of the previous week.

_“Do you think they’re together?”_

Liam almost stopped when he heard a few of the speculations. He pieced the puzzle together with bits and pieces of everyone’s conversations. It was clear that everybody now knew that Zayn had been just as involved in the situation as Liam and, boy, were people talking about it.

_“Wonder what Louis thinks.”_

The more and more he heard, the faster and faster he walked. The door to his English class seemed like it was moving further away, but he got there eventually: shoving past and through several groups of giggling girls.

His eyes scanned the classroom quickly before landing on Zayn sat in the same spot they used to sit together, completely unaware and distracted by something on his phone.

Liam takes a breath as he walks over to the chair next to Zayn that has remained unoccupied since he had sat their last, back before everything seemed to crash and burn.

Zayn looks up and flutters his eyelashes and Liam can’t help but think it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s seen, because it’s not playful or faux, Zayn really just is _that_ unrealistically beautiful.

“Am I forgiven yet?”

Liam slid his textbook out of his back and dropped it dramatically onto the desktop.

“I’ll take that as a no?” And that goddamn smirk returns.

“What did you do?”

“I kissed you?” Zayn’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “And then I was a jerk about it?”

“No, you twat,” Liam finally took his seat and angled his body to face the boy next to him. “What did you do _today_? Everybody’s talking about it again. Saying that we’re together and that you’re gay and I don’t even know, I’ve only heard bits of gossip, but you’ve clearly fucking said something to make it all resurface.”

Zayn is momentarily silenced.

 _Gee, word travels fast,_ he thinks to himself. He can’t quite get a gauge on how Liam is reacting. The boy seems angry, but that doesn’t make sense? Telling Louis was meant to be a step in the right direction, wasn’t it?

“I had a chat to Lou yesterday and told him that the kiss was mutual… that it wasn’t just you,” Zayn finally admits.

“Why?” The lump in Liam’s throat moves up and down as he swallows words or emotions that Zayn is still not sure on.

“Because it was the right thing to do.”

Liam groans and cards his hands through his short hair, slightly pulling in frustration at the strands while their teacher stands before the class and silences them all, leaving the boys’ conversation paused unfinished.

The teacher spends half an hour talking about syntax and semantics and Liam hovers on the concept of semantics. And wasn’t it always so that whatever you were studying in English class seemed to vaguely reflect your life?

“What do words _mean_?” seemed to almost echo from the front of the classroom.

Liam couldn’t help but wonder what the conversation that him and Zayn had just had meant. Everyone now knew that they had kissed at the party. Everyone now knew that the both of them were equally involved. Most people now knew that they sat together a lot in this class. Surely people were starting to put two and two together; surely people would think that they were either an item or liked each other.

Sure, Zayn had kissed him, but Liam still didn’t know if he liked him back. He didn’t know anything. They really hadn’t spoken about meanings.

“Zayn?”

Zayn responded to his name, turning his head gracefully and blinking out a “hmm?”

“What does that mean?”

Zayn blinked again, but this time in non-understanding, “What does what mean?”

“Mister Payne and Mister Malik, please?” Liam straightened up while Zayn slouched and rolled his eyes as their teacher brought their attention back to him and away from each other.

Zayn pulled a notepad out of his bag, flicking quickly past a collection of drawings and cartoons and comics to find a blank page.

He takes a black pen from Liam’s opened pencil case and scrawls on the paper.

 

_What does what mean?_

 

Liam took a marker of his own, penning down a response of his own.

 

**did u draw those???**

 

_Yes, but stay on topic_

 

Liam stopped and smiled, his breath taken away by this boy once again. It was the little things about Zayn. It wasn’t the fact that he wore all black and pretended to be an asshole that didn’t care; that wasn’t Zayn.

Zayn was elegantly written full sentences with correct punctuation and spelling even when they were conversing on paper like ten year old girls. Zayn was pages covered in beautifully drawn pictures, Zayn was a notepad of his thoughts and creations tucked quietly in his backpack.

And Liam couldn’t do anything but smile.

 

_Earth to Liam?_

 

Zayn tapped his finger impatiently on the paper.

“Sorry,” Liam whispered sheepishly.

 

**can we tlk about it later? dnt want to have it written down for anyone to find haha**

 

Zayn signed off with a " _Sure thing, love."_ and a sweet smile and Liam’s stomach did a backflip.

It was happening again. Zayn was charming him all over again and god _fucking damn_ him it was working. Liam tried desperately to think about why he was still definitely angry with Zayn and how he would not and could not forgive him, but he failed miserably the second he looked at his gorgeous jaw line and his perfect profile and watched him watching the front of the room.

Zayn failed to hide a barely-there smirk and Liam knew he knew he was looking at him, but Liam didn’t really care.

So they sat there for the last ten minutes of the class, Zayn looking through the board at the front of the room and Liam clearly watching him, neither of them really listening to anything at all: not even their own thoughts: just hyper aware of the other.

When the bell rang they made eye contact, uncomfortably smiling at each other and turning back with slightly tinted cheeks to pack up their things. As they stood, Liam very lightly touched his hand to the side of Zayn’s hip.

“Can we talk later?”

Zayn gulped, discreetly looking down to only just catch a glimpse of where Liam’s hand lingered before it fell back to his side.

“Yeah, uhm, I’ve gotta go hand in my history assignment, but I’ll come meet you near the bike shed after that?”

“See you then,” Liam nodded, turning on his heel to head off.

  
  
  
Liam found Niall and Josh on the far side of the pitch, softly kicking a football to one another. Niall had a sandwich in one hand and a mouthful of ham, but managed to still maintain his conversation with Josh and his control of the football.  
  
“Hey Li,” Josh passes the ball to Liam in welcoming, “what’s up man?”  
  
“Just talked to Zayn.”  
  
The two other boys stopped where they were and exchanged a look before closing in the few metres between them and their mate.  
  
“What happened?” Niall’s voice seemed nervous: nervous that something bad had happened. They were only just finally starting to feel like they had their mate back from the dead.  
  
“Not much really. Well, yeah a lot actually,” Liam added a cautious laugh, sitting himself down on the grass, throwing the football from hand to hand to keep himself sane. “He told Louis that he kissed me.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Yeah, what?” The other two wore exactly the same expressions: eyebrows furrowed and eyes focused intensely on Liam, waiting for an explanation as they sat themselves down on the ground as well.  
  
“I’ve been hearing shit all day. People are talking about it again so I just had English class and I sat with him and asked him what the fuck he did and he told me that he told Louis that it wasn’t all my fault.”  
  
Niall only looked more and more confused as the story went on, “Why though?”  
  
“Because he likes him,” Josh assumed with a small smile.  
  
“I don’t know about that,” Liam blushed, feeling like a preteen girl and the frequency of that feeling was starting to become seriously worrying. “But I asked him what it all means and he didn’t quite understand, but it wasn’t really a conversation we could have in the middle of English so he’s meeting me at the bike shed in about ten minutes to talk.”  
  
“Because he likes you,” Josh repeated with another smile, but when Liam shook his head in disagreement, his smile faded just slightly. “C’mon Liam, why else would he be still trying? He’s one of Tommo’s mates, I mean, if he was just fucking with you or it was just a hook up then he would have been tormenting you like the rest of them. But he’s not done that has he?”  
  
Liam couldn’t respond, he wasn’t sure what he thought of it all. Zayn had still avoided him and still had left him crying on the floor. He hadn’t been an angel. Surely if he liked him he would have protected him, he wouldn’t have let anyone find out in the first place.  
  
Liam didn’t know, but he hoped that in a few minutes time he would find out.  
  
“So what are you gonna ask him?”  
  
“I kind of just want answers,” Liam let out a sigh, dropping the football to his lap, tracing the geometric patterns on its skin. “I want to know who he told in the first place and why, I want to know what he expected would happen when he told Louis about him being a part of it, I want to know what Louis and Harry know. I guess I want to know why he kissed me in the first place too.”  
  
The three boys sat silently, letting the situation hang around them. Liam picked at the imperfections on the ball, Josh looked buried in his thoughts and Niall rocked nonchalantly back to lean on his hands behind him and let his head fall back to face the sky.  
  
Their group had never really dealt with anything like this before, because they were never the ones hanging in the balance. The girls at school would just approach them, the girls at parties would do all the work. None of them had ever dealt with not knowing if someone felt the same way about them that they felt.  
  
Josh had briefly dated a few girls, but had been the one to break up with all of them: never the one dumped. Niall dated a girl, Jess, about a year prior. They had dated for just about seven months before Niall moved on to the exciting life of being single and popular.  
  
Liam was always the one more into relationships. Less concerned with “banging random birds”, as Niall always put it so eloquently, more interested in the feelings, which had never been a problem for him: he was never the one getting his feelings hurt.  
  
This was unfamiliar territory and it scared the hell out of him.  
  
He really liked Zayn, really liked him. It wasn’t like some of the girls he’d been with either. It wasn’t that he thought they were attractive and they were a nice person as well… it ran deeper, much more significant than that.  
  
Liam had never noticed the little things more in a person, like the drawings in Zayn’s notebook, or that little smirk, or the way that his exterior was completely staged and that he was soft and shy and subtle inside.  
  
When he’d kissed him it was more exciting than any other experience he’d had with relationships. It wasn’t just a kiss: it wasn’t just another kiss with another attractive person, with another girl he kind of, sort of liked.  
  
“There he is,” Josh broke the silence.  
  
“Do you want us to come with you?” Niall offered, jumping up to his feet and throwing his backpack to hang lazily off one shoulder.  
  
Liam nodded weakly, because he had worked himself up. He cursed himself for over-thinking as he was now incredibly nervous: butterflies fluttering in a frenzied manner in his stomach and he couldn’t change his face from a completely blank expression.  
  
“Let’s go mate,” Josh handed Liam his backpack, setting off to the opposite corner of the pitch where the bike shed occupied.  
  
Accepting his bag, Liam finally looked up and across the grass to see the golden, god-like boy that was turning him into a crazy, emotional, prepubescent version of himself.  
  
Zayn threw his own bag to the ground at the junction of the teal-blue steel of the shed wall and the dirt on the ground, unsurprisingly pulling out his deck and lighting up a cigarette.  
  
He blew the smoke in and out, in and out, in and out before Liam got to within twenty metres of him. He then turned to look at Liam, quickly taking in the boys on his flanks.  
  
Liam stopped to say goodbye, Josh clapping him across the back and beginning to walk off.  
  
Niall gave him a one-armed loose hug, whispering into his ear, “You’ll be right, mate.”  
  
Liam smiled weakly at him as he pulled back and ran off to join Josh, leaving him completely alone with Zayn.  
  
He watched as his two mates walked off, letting the silence linger momentarily, before turning to face Zayn and taking a few slow steps closer to stand right before him.  
  
Both boys took a deep breath.  
  
Zayn dropped his unfinished cigarette to the ground, stubbing it out with his boot, then lifting his gaze to look Liam straight in the eye.  
  
“So, what did you want to talk about?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really enjoyed writing this chapter, hope you enjoyed reading it :)
> 
> I've finally mapped out the whole rest of the story, so just need to write it now!
> 
> Uni is crazy, hence infrequent updates, but I'm doing what I can. Always happy to hear your feedback... stay golden. x


	7. Chapter Seven

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

Liam shifted uncomfortably. He’d never been in a situation like this: a situation where he knew there was a very high chance of being rejected. This was a boy he really did have feelings for and that scared the shit out of him. What would he do if, after everything he had gone through over this boy, he ended up alone and broken hearted?

“Us,” Liam breathed out, “I want to talk about us. I want to talk about everything that happened between us and all this shit that has gone down and all the drama and just sort everything out.”

Zayn let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding and slid down the wall until he was sitting with his back against the cold, hard metal of the shed. “Care to join me?”

Liam complies and drops his bag to the ground. He doesn’t want to sit next to Zayn, so he sits opposite him. This is a conversation he wants to have face-to-face, so he can read every flicker of emotion and look him in the eye.

Zayn is playing with the frayed black denim at his knees and Liam always wondered how he managed to get away with not wearing the school uniform pants four out of five days a week.

There was a few moments of silence – Liam watching Zayn watching his knees – before they both cleared their throats to start speaking at the same time. They smiled at each other, Liam being a gentleman and holding out his hand as if to tell Zayn the floor was his.

“Well, I don’t know what you want me to say, Li,” the smile on Zayn’s lips had vanished and he now wore a serious expression. “I don’t know if you want to me to say that I like you or whether you want to me to say that I hate you, because that’s going to change what version of events I tell you.”

“Please don’t tell me you hate me,” Liam’s voice was so quiet, he could barely hear himself. At the mention of the word ‘hate’, Liam's stomach had dropped and his throat had closed up, but he also needed to be strong, "Please just... just tell me the truth."

If Liam's tone of hurt and borderline desperation didn't tell Zayn that he had feelings for him, then he didn't know what would.

"Okay, the truth it is," Zayn began, carded a hand through his hair and brought his gaze to meet Liam's unfaltering one. "I kissed you at that party, because I wanted to. I wasn't playing games, I wasn't just trying to hook up with someone, I wanted to kiss _you_."

Liam continued to hold his breath. It was a good start to the truth, but he had no idea what could be coming next.

"Straight after, when Louis came outside, he asked me what happened and I just panicked. The second that the words left my mouth I felt terrible. I was just trying to protect myself Liam, I am so, so sorry."

Zayn was almost shaking, his voice thick with emotion and his head shaking from side to side. He really was sorry and Liam wanted to reach across and grab his hand or touch his leg and let him know it was okay, but he still didn't know where Zayn stood with him - still didn't know if he liked him or wanted him to touch him.

So Liam left him, consoling him at a distance by not interrupting and letting him compose himself before he started again.

"And it was the same story for what happened afterwards. I was a complete coward and I should have said something earlier... I shouldn't have said anything in the first place. But I just couldn't go through what I went through back at my old school again. So, yesterday I called Louis and he came and met me at this café down the road and I told him." Zayn took a breath and nodded, reassuring himself that it was the right thing to do. "I told him that it wasn't just you, that I had kissed you too and that I didn't think you were a bad person."

That was the end of the story, but Liam knew Zayn wasn't finished talking yet. He knew the truth now, he knew that Zayn felt guilty and he did it to protect himself and that's fair enough, but it still didn't tell him what Zayn thought of him now.

Did he still like him or was he just trying to right a wrong?

"And Louis kind of threatened me," Zayn added and Liam animated immediately, "No, no not like physically or even directly. He kind of just shrugged and said that if I wanted to get the same kind of treatment you got then it was up to me. I don't know what he meant by it, but he also said some other things..."

Zayn straightened up and let his knees fall so they were no longer bent up. He folded his hands in his lap so that he didn't distract himself with pulling at fabric or picking up stones and he looked Liam dead in the eye.

"He told me that you only would have kissed me to mess with me. That you probably don't like me and that it was all just some random hookup to get inside my head. He said you were playing games with me and-" Zayn silenced Liam's protests by continuing to speak over him, "and I said that you're not like that, but I still... I mean, I guess I haven't known you as long as he has and I trust you but I also don't trust that someone like you would ever want anything to do with me, so... Is he right?"

By the time Zayn finished his voice was weak and strained and uncertain. Liam was watching this beautiful boy curl in on himself right in front of him. _No, baby, no, no it's not true._

"I really like you Zayn. A lot more than I should considering what you've put me through, but I accept your apologies. I understand you were just trying to protect yourself. I'm happy to have taken the rap for it all if it means that you don't." Liam watches Zayn try and scramble together pieces of self-confidence and trust in his head and fail miserably. "I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. So, Louis is wrong. He is so, so wrong. I wouldn't - hey."

Zayn cracked and his eyes started to water and he caught his bottom lip between his teeth. He looked down and away when Liam noticed. Liam shifted around so he was sitting beside Zayn, both of their backs against the wall. He put his arm around Zayn's shoulder and tugged him slightly so he feel into his side. He rubbed his hand soothingly on Zayn's shoulder, trying to calm him down, make him feel protected. Nobody was going to hurt him anymore.

"I don't know what you want from me, but if you want me here then I'm here. I don't think you realise how beautiful you are. Maybe I'm reading you wrong, but _this_ is the real you. I don't think that you're just a hard, empty shell. I don't think you're just ripped jeans and cigarettes and douchebag friends. That notebook you have where you draw and write things? That's you. This. Right now. This is you. And if I'm right then I am an absolute mess for you Zayn. I want to protect you and I want you to feel special. Stop me if I'm completely off here, but I really like _you,_ Zayn"

Zayn mumbles into Liam's shoulder, "You're right."

"I thought so. So, what do you want to do now?"

Zayn pulls away so he's face to face with Liam. He looks around quickly, scanning the empty oval and their surroundings.

"I'd really like to kiss you, if-"

Liam's lips press so gently against Zayn's and he just melts. He balls his hands in to the front of Liam's shirt so he has something to ground him and Liam slides the hand that was on Zayn's shoulder to cup his cheek.

Their kiss is so soft and so different to their first. There's nothing sexual in this kiss, there's nothing needy, there's nothing desperate. This feels like they have all the time in the world.

Liam drags his tongue every so lightly along the front of Zayn's bottom lip and as Zayn sighs into his mouth, he deepens the kiss. Liam's free hand grabs a hold of the other boy's hip and lifts and pulls him around to sit on his lap. Zayn is now straddling Liam, one of Liam's large hands on his hips and the other still delicately holding his head in place, the calloused pad of his thumb stroking his cheek gently. 

Zayn lifts his hands so that his fingers scratch lightly though Liam's short hair and they stay in this position for a couple of minutes. The kiss doesn't escalate - now isn't the time or the place for a heated moment full of lust. It isn't really the time or place for Zayn to even be sitting in Liam's lap, kissing him, but it needed to happen. This kiss makes up for everything that's happened since their last one. This kiss means that Zayn feels the same way about Liam that he feels about him. This is what both of them wanted: this is what both of them needed.

When Zayn eventually pulled away, his hand still clasped behind Liam's head, he wore the proudest smirk on his lips and for some reason, this made Liam burst into a smile that pulled on his heartstrings. 

"I used to find that smirk so frustrating when I first met you," Liam explained, "I thought you could tell I liked you and I always felt like you were teasing me. Plus it's super hot."

Zayn laughed, while the other boy blushed, so he leaned in and kissed both of Liam's cheeks.

It was sappy and the kind of cute, lovey-dovey stuff that neither boy thought they were ever capable of - especially Zayn - but it felt right and it felt normal.

"So, _now_ what do you want to do? And I don't mean kiss me, I mean what are we?" Liam knew what they were, but he wanted to hear it from the other boy.

"We could try dating?" Zayn asked and after everything he still has a hint of doubt in his voice and it breaks Liam's heart.

"Yeah," he kisses Zayn, speaking between pecks, "yeah, that sounds good."

 

 

+++

 

 

As perfect and as easy as everything had seemed yesterday afternoon by the shed, it wasn't that way at school the next day. To avoid being ripped to shreds socially and to avoid Zayn being abandoned by his friends, they had decided to still keep it very private at school and away from their friends.

Liam was itching to tell Niall and Josh, the two asking him a thousand and one questions about what happened and receiving only shrugs and little comments like "not much, really." Liam insisted that they'd sorted everything out and decided it was best to just be casual friends.

Meanwhile, Zayn was itching for neither Harry or Louis to find out. He jumped and shook when Liam came past in fear of him becoming a conversation topic. He knew that Louis' eyes focused on him and watched his behaviour, but prayed that he didn't read too much into it.

In English class, they sat together. The talked and they did their work and they asked each other questions - trying to learn every last, little thing about the other.

The first day was hard. All they wanted to do is spend every second together and when they are together, all they want to do is have some form of physical contact, but they keep their distance, organising to meet up at Zayn's house after Liam finished football training.

Zayn wanted desperately to stay and watch Liam train, but he knew that right now that wasn't an option. He said goodbye to Liam after class, brushing their fingers together ever so subtly, and once school was finished he walked home alone.

He didn't enjoy the walk as much as he usually did, his heart was in his throat and he was walking so quickly trying to get home so he could have time to prepare for Liam coming over.

First task was his parents. Zayn never had people over, never had friends come around after school and hadn't done since he was about eight years old. When he unlocked the front door and stepped into the house he thanked any and every higher being that his family hadn't decided to rip each other to shreds this afternoon. There was no fighting as his father was off picking up the girls from school and his mother was silently cooking in the kitchen.

He didn't hate any members on his family, he didn't even dislike them... he loved them, really. They all just fought a lot and really intensely and Zayn was far too sensitive for those kind of situations day in day out, so he distanced himself.

"Mum?" Zayn called out as he walked through the hallway.

"I'm in the kitchen," Trish yelled back.

His mother was slaving away, preparing dinner for their large family of six - Zayn, his mother, his father and his three sisters.

"How was school?" She asked, which was odd, because she never usually asked. She knew the answer would be "shit" and then she'd have to yell at him for swearing. Though it was equally odd for Zayn to speak to anyone, let alone seek out his mother when he got home, so maybe she sensed his better mood.

"Yeah alright," Zayn fiddled with the hem of his jacket. "I'm going to have a friend over this afternoon, so just, can you tell the girls and Dad when they get home to not yell and fight and to leave us alone?"

Trish's eyes lit up and the word 'friend' and she went into instant-Mum mode, asking her son what his name was and where he met him and if he wanted her to bake something for them to have and oh, is he staying for dinner? Is he staying the night?" Or is it a girl? 

"No Mum, he's not staying for dinner or the night," _though that would be nice._ Maybe one day. "His name is Liam and he's in my English class. Please don't make a bid deal, just pass on the message yeah?"

Zayn turned on his heel and walked out of the room, a "Yes of course, sweetie", called out after him.

It was these little tranquil, normal moments that made him not hate being at home, but he knew it wasn't something that happened all the time. He knew that tomorrow he'd probably come home to fighting again.

The fighting hadn't started until Zayn had forced his family into relocating. They had been happy in Bradford, but Zayn hadn't been and he felt selfish and horrible for fraying the ties that had always kept his family strong and cohesive for his own happiness.

There was nothing he could do now though. He had told his parents time and time again that if they wanted to move back he would go, or they could go and he could stay here, but they wouldn't have a bar of it. That's part of why Zayn kept to himself at home. When there was fighting he just felt so horribly responsible that he didn't want to show his face.

He opened the door to his bedroom and instantly felt embarrassed. His room was an absolute pig sty and when he checked his bedside clock, he realised that Liam finished practise in twenty minutes and would probably walk ten times faster than Zayn ever could and make the trip in ten minutes. He would be here in less than half an hour and Zayn was not showered or changed and the sanctuary of his bedroom - which they would need to use if they wanted privacy - was not ready for company.

He spent fifteen minutes tidying and throwing out and cleaning up everything. By the time he finished, his room wasn't spotless, but you could see the floor and the desktop wasn't covered in old food wrappers and beer cans and his bedside table wasn't littered with cigarette trays and butts and his doona was spread out over his bed rather than shoved aside. The floor could use a vacuum, but there was no time for that: at least it was clear.

Checking the time he estimated he still had ten minutes before Liam arrived, so he jumped into the shower so he looked and smelled nice when he got here.

The warm water rushing over his shoulders and back allowed him to relax. He took a deep breath and sighed into the thick, warm air of the foggy shower cubicle. He slowly shampooed his hair, washed his body with soap and when he turned off the water, he wrapped a towel around his waist and languidly shaved.

He wasn't sure if Liam liked the stubble or not, but he wanted to look as presentable as he could, not ratty and hairy.

He sprayed himself with deodorant and opened the door, flicking off the fan and the light and following the steam that escaped out of the room.

"Zayn!" his mum called out when she heard the bathroom door open, "Liam's here!"

Zayn muttered expletives to himself, "Okay thanks Mum! I'll be there in a second!"

He really had to yell, because there was music coming from the kitchen. Trish often listened to music when she cooked, they were a pretty musical family. There was always some kind of music or noise happening in the home if they weren't screaming at each other.

He all but ran to his room, clutching the towel around his waist as if his life depended on it and threw open the door to his room.

He clearly showered longer than ten minutes, because Liam was sitting on the chair, in his football shorts and the school team's hoodie, at his desk spinning around and taking in all the little things in Zayn's room. He spun around to greet Zayn, but his eyes popped when he saw him standing wet and in only a towel in the door.

"I... I thought you would have been in the lounge," Zayn explained weakly.

Liam stood up and straightened out his jumper, "I was, for about five minutes, then your mum told me that I could just wait in your room. She's lovely, by the way."

"Yeah," was all Zayn could manage. He couldn't move. All he could do was stand there, hair still dripping, while Liam's eyes roamed every inch of his naked flesh. Zayn thought he should find himself embarrassed and nervous, but he didn't mind being admired when it was Liam and he had this look in his eyes like - like he wanted to devour him in the best way possible.

"You uh, you have more tattoos," Liam noted, sounding a little dumbfounded.

"Yeah, I do. You can't see them usually when I-"

"Have clothes on?" Liam finished for him, laughing a little and Zayn tried to laugh, but couldn't. 

He felt for the door behind him and pushed it closed, the thud and click of it shutting piercing the awkward silence.

He broke eye contact with the other boy to move to his dresser and pull out a pair of underwear, a pair of shorts and a black hoodie.

"I'm gonna just -," he held up the clothes in his hand and Liam didn't budge while Zayn turned to leave the room.

"Wait," Zayn heard from behind him and when he spun to face Liam he was right up close to him, hovering momentarily before crushing their lips together.

The clothes in Zayn's hands remained firmly in his grip, his hands dropping to his sides. He didn't want to drop the clothes and start touching Liam, because then he wouldn't be able to stop himself and he wasn't sure that Liam was ready for that or that _they_ were ready for that. He also didn't trust his room to be soundproof.

Liam didn't seem put off by Zayn's lack of hands, because what he wasn't getting in touches, he was receiving in little moans and groans rattling Zayn's body.

Zayn's body that felt so warm under Liam's hands. Zayn allowed him to trace his sides and span his hands across his chest and trail down his back. His skin felt on fire wherever Liam touched and crawled wherever Liam wasn't touching. Their kiss was hot: teeth clashing and lips being bitten and tongues fighting. The shared moans into eachother's mouths and Zayn could feel himself getting hard.

It wasn't more than a minute of roaming hands and quickening breaths before Liam pressed his body flush against Zayn's, rattling the door he was pinned against slightly, and the both of them moaning a little too loudly when Liam thrust his body up and their hard cocks pressed against each other between the fabric. It wasn't enough and it was all too much and Zayn started feeling desperate.

Another thrust and Zayn thought his heart might stop any moment. Another thrust and Zayn dropped the clothes in his hands, digging his nail into Liam's hips as hard as he could under his jumper.

Liam growled in his ear and pulled him away from the door before shoving him back into it, pushing their crotches together again, but harder this time.

His cock was started to leak and he was leaving red scratch marks on Liam's hips.

Zayn's towel unfastened with another push of Liam's body against his, falling off his hips, but not fast enough that he wasn't able to catch it and tuck it back in on itself.

"Li-am" Zayn begged and Liam attached his lips to his throat. "Li, maybe we- Fuck, god, maybe-"

They were making too much noise. The door was rattling behind them and both of them were doing their best to keep their moans at a minimum, but failed for the most part.

Liam broke away then, brown eyes piercing, panting. He knew it wasn't the time or place, he knew they weren't ready yet. "Maybe another time. Go get dressed, please."

Zayn nodded, agreeing and taking his orders. Liam's voice was cracking and Zayn knew his own would too if he tried to speak again.

He picked up his clothes, fastened his towel and left his bedroom, leaving the other boy to compose himself while he ran into the bathroom and turning the shower on cold, he jumped straight back in. He stayed shivering under the freezing water, thinking about anything but the boy in his room, until his erection passed and he was breathing even again. He shut off the water and stepped out, toweling himself off again and throwing on the clothes he brought in with him. 

Standing before the mirror he leaned against the white basin and took in his appearance. He used his hands (and a little bit of gel) to sculpt his in an upwards direction and splashed cold water on his cheeks to try and reduce the redness that was still present on his cheeks. After several splashes of icy cold water, he realised that his efforts were futile and that he was to remain flushed until his body decided otherwise.

He felt a little better. He felt great to be honest. He smiled at his reflection and even gave the boy looking back at him through the glass a little thumbs up, because well, the boy he had left in his bedroom was seriously fit and that deserved some self accolades.

He folded and hung his towel on the silver, metal rail on the far side of the bathroom and wandered back to his bedroom. 

Zayn stopped and stood briefly at the door. He listened, just to make sure it was safe to enter. He had taken a cold shower to calm himself down. He wasn't sure how Liam was calming himself, but he knew one, more common, way to get rid of an erection other than icy water. As hot as Zayn thought that imagery would be and as much as he's not so sure Liam would have a go in his bedroom while he's in the other room, he also did want to just triple check by standing at the door and knocking.

Three slight knocks and Liam called out, "Who is it?"

His singsong tone made Zayn chuckle, and Zayn opened the door with an equally sung, "Honey, I'm home!"

He waited to hear Liam's gentle laugh subside, the door still only slightly ajar, before he added a cautious, "Is it safe for me to come in?"

There was no reply, just the sound of shuffling and Zayn pushed away from the door and stood up a little straighter in anticipation.

Liam swung open the door with a grin covering at least half of his face and continuing in his eyes. His eyes were shining so brightly and Zayn could help but think that that was because of him. The butterflies and twisting and joy that erupted deep down in his stomach, all the way up through his chest, from that one little thought were almost strong enough to knock him over.

The beautiful, brown eyed boy standing in Zayn's door frame stepped aside to let him in and closed the door behind them. Zayn walked straight over to his bed and sat himself on top of the covers with his back and head leaning against the wall behind him and Liam followed him.

Zayn was watching the roof and Liam was watching him. Liam was the one who spoke first, "So, that was hot."

And Zayn laughed. He laughed incredulously, because yeah, _yeah_ , that was hot.

He turned to look at Liam and smirked, watching him in awe that someone who looks like him is even allowed to do things like push you up against door frames when you're in a towel and more importantly, that someone that looks like him that would do that, wants to do it with him. He drove Liam to the point where he was begged to leave, where they were both hard and panting and, "Yeah, that was amazing."

Liam smiles and seems relieved, Zayn wondering if he maybe thought Zayn might have disagreed or thought he was overstepping a line.

"What should we do now?" Liam ponders. Zayn looks him up and down and contemplates Round Two, but he reminds himself that this is the first time that Liam has been involved in any way, shape or form - emotionally or physically - with another male. He can't just expect or force Liam into bed with him and he doesn't know if he could restrain himself if they went at it again. Zayn was still pretty horny from what happened, so he decided to calm them down and pulled out his laptop for them to watch a movie on.

Liam asks excitedly what films Zayn has and he lets the boy flick through his collection and choose one. Standing at the bookshelf, hopping excitedly from toe to toe, Liam seems like a child, but it's endearingly adorable.

He returns to the bed with the Batman Returns DVD in his hand and a look on his face like he's awaiting approval. He is.

Zayn approves by taking the disk out of his hands and sliding it into the laptop, patting the part of the bed beside him.

The two sat and watched the movie, Liam spurting out random facts about Batman and general comments about just how much he likes Batman and Zayn lets him talk. Zayn doesn't spend more than half a second watching or listening to the movie. His time is better spent listening to Liam talk or breathe, watch Liam's hands, snuggle up against Liam's shoulder.

Despite being incredibly enthused by the film they were watching, Liam breaks his eyes away from the screen momentarily and lifts the laptop off Zayn's legs and puts it on his own, allowing the other boy to curl his legs up and cuddle further into his side. He wraps an arm almost all the way around Zayn, his fingers resting on his hip and sliding under the fabric of his hoodie to rest on the warm skin there. His nails dig slightly into Zayn's flesh when something suspenseful happens on the film and rubs soothingly and absentmindedly during the rest.

Zayn doesn't bother to even keep his eyes open at that point, letting his eyes flutter closed and letting his whole body melt into Liam's side and Liam's touch.

This was perfect, this moment was happy. Zayn felt whole and right there, nuzzled into Liam's solid body with his strong arms wrapped around him, he felt like he could take on the world - he felt protected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tune in on Tuesdays for more Turf Wars. 
> 
> Such alliteration. But really, I'm finally getting into the swing of sitting down and just smashing out like three/four thousand words. So I've started regularly updating Dragonfly and now I'll be regularly updating this.
> 
> Put it in your diaries. Tuesdays = Turf Wars. 
> 
>  
> 
> Always love to hear what you think ♡


	8. Chapter Eight

Zayn fell asleep just after halfway through the movie, well at least that's the last part he remembers. When he stirred awake, he glanced upwards through bleary eyes and saw Liam watching him.

Liam wore the softest of smiles, almost indistinguishable, but there was something of content playing at his lips. His eyes remained unblinking, but became more gentle - something Zayn didn't believe was possible - as Zayn stifled a yawn with the back of his hand, the sleeves of his hoodie long past the tips of his fingers.

"Good morning, sunshine," Liam breathed into Zayn's ear while the dark haired boy unfurled his legs to stretch them out with a little groan.

"What time is it?" Zayn pondered, his voice raspy. He wasn't sure whether it was the same day or if it was late or if he'd only been asleep for twenty minutes.

Liam looked over at the little, red, electronic numbers presenting themselves on Zayn's bedside table and told him that it was "not quite yet midnight, love".

_Love_ , Zayn repeated in his head. How incredibly corny. If Liam was anybody else and Zayn stayed true to the colours he had painted himself in recently, Zayn would have made a snide, teasing comment about how he sounded like his nan. But it was nice. It made Zayn's heart flutter just a little.

"But uh, now that you're awake..." Liam hesitated, sounding incredibly reluctant, "I have to go. I have training tomorrow morning before school and I need a certain amount of sleep and I'm already going to get less than I need to perform and-"

Zayn cut Liam off with a quick, soft kiss. He was starting to freak out and there really was no need to.

"That's okay, you don't have to make excuses," he soothed as he trailed his the back of his fingers delicately along Liam's jaw. The small amount of stubble tickled his skin and Liam leaned into his touch ever so slightly.

A strong arm still wrapped tight around Zayn's back and calloused fingertips rested on the skin of his hip. Zayn took a deep breath, relaxing further into Liam and they remained this way for what was never going to feel like long enough.

Liam begrudgingly pulled away, stretching his arms above his head and moving to collect his things from the corner of Zayn's room.

Neither of them verbally said any goodbyes, Liam just kissed the top of Zayn's head and smiled back at him over his shoulder as he left the room.

 

 

+++

 

Zayn walked nervously though the school gates half an hour before school started. The school grounds were empty as he wandered between the buildings and shivered like the nearly naked trees in the cool gusts of wind. He wrapped his hands tighter around the take-away coffee cups he held in each hand, trying to soak some warmth out of them. 

Liam would be finished training in ten minutes and Zayn was hoping to surprise him. Even more so, he was hoping him and his beverage offerings, along with the croissant he bought, were going to be a welcomed surprised.

It could backfire. It could backfire quite badly. They weren't public. They weren't planning on becoming public any time soon.

Their friendship groups still hated each others' guts and the tensions that would arise if they were to be pushed together. Just two days prior, Louis and Niall had to be dragged away from each other kicking and screaming after Louis threw a cigarette butt and the blonde boy as he walked past. Liam and Zayn had smiled at each other sheepishly whilst pulling their friends apart.

It would be so complicated. Zayn might be relatively new, but he could tell that it was engrained in these boys to hate each other. There didn't even seem to be a reason anymore - Zayn was sure that if he asked either his friends or Liam and _his_ friends why they hate each other, they wouldn't be able to give him a legitimate excuse. They would merely shrug and use a combination of the words "pricks", "I don't know" and "just".

It was a pretty stupid idea to even be seen together let alone Zayn be seen bringing Liam breakfast, but it was a nice gesture and Zayn wanted to do it.

When he reached the football pitch at the back of the school, the team were finishing up a scrimmage. The group of boys, half in red bibs, half in blue bibs over their uniforms, were shoving each other and laughing as they walked over to the edge of the pitch and helped their coach pack up all the cones and balls.

Zayn stepped up to sit on the highest row of the small bleachers that sat on one side of the pitch. Their school didn't really host many games, so the bleachers only fit about a hundred or so people give or take. The wood was damp beneath Zayn as he sat down, looking up and catching Liam's eyes on him.

Liam had watched him walk up the stairs and take his seat, waited for the boy to notice him noticing him and smiled softly when Zayn held up a coffee cup and a brown paper bag and dangled them in the air.

However, he couldn't really be caught just wandering over and skipping getting changed and the coach's final address to go sit with him, so he held up one finger to let Zayn know he'd be there as fast as he could, _please stay_. He turned back to the front and watched coach's mouth moving but didn't hear the words. It was all probably beneath Liam anyway, about developing the lesser players in the team: stuff Liam already knew and had perfected.

As soon as the huddle broke and the team meandered over to the change rooms - excruciatingly slow for someone who had a cute boy waiting for them, but Liam made sure he maintained an inconspicuous pace and contributed to conversation as normal.

Niall and Josh were talking to him about something to do with someone who has a party someday next week and he's supposed to do something about it and _god, were the change rooms always this far away?_

Once in the rooms, Liam shrugged off his training gear and threw on his school uniform in record time. He hung his football boots up in his locker, because it had been raining and he didn't want to stink his bag out or make all his stuff soggy.

He ducked up behind Niall, who was still only just taking his training shirt off, and murmured a quick goodbye into his ear, "I've got to rush off, I'll see you in class."

"Where are you-?" the blonde begun, spinning around to face his friend and quirking his eyebrow at how quickly he had gotten changed.

"No questions just yet, I promise I'll fill you in later," he looked around the room for Josh quickly, but couldn't see him and assumed he was taking a shower. Liam wondered if he should take a shower too. He usually took on after before-school training, but today there was no time and he could either see Zayn smelling like sweat and mud or not see him at all.

Easy choice.

"Tell Josh I'll see him at lunch," Liam finished, throwing his bag over his shoulder and scurrying off.

"Yeah okay, see ya mate," Niall yelled out after him, but his voice lowered as he spoke and his last words were slow and unheard by the boy who was already out the door.

Liam's heart rate picked up, not sure if Zayn would have waited for him. _God,_ he hoped that he was still there.

He rounded the corner and felt his shoulders relax in relief when he saw Zayn sitting in the same spot, one arm wrapped around his own middle and the other bringing a cigarette to his lips. Liam watched him breathe in and blow smoke out as he approached and he hated smoking and always had. It was bad for you health - athletes don't smoke, but there was something attractive about it when Zayn smoked.

Zayn was kind enough to stub out his cigarette though when he saw Liam walking up the stairs to meet him.

"Morning," Liam greeted lightly.

"Good morning, how was training?" Zayn asked, shifting his body so he leaned up against the metal handrail behind him, his legs spread either side of the wooden bench. Liam sat opposite him, facing forwards and throwing his bag to the floor at his feet.

"Yeah good," Liam sighed, but he wasn't convincing Zayn or himself so he continued. "It's just school training you know? Rep training I get something out of, but this is all a bit too easy. Same goes even for Niall and Josh. We get bored with school football sometimes."

Liam shifted so his arms extended behind him and he rocked back to lean on them, letting his face face the sky, "I just want more than this. I want to play professional football. I'm sick of waiting for it."

He finished with a shrug, as if he hadn't just said something that, although not something incredibly personal and heavy, contained feelings he didn't share with most of the people in his life.

Zayn nodded in understanding. "We have that assembly this afternoon? For uni?" he offered.

This seemed to settle Liam, like he could start working on his dreams soon. Zayn loved that Liam knew exactly what he wanted, but he felt a slight twang of jealousy, because although he was a good writer and an alright drawer, he didn't have a career ahead of him. He didn't know if what he wanted to do could earn him a living. But it was too early for that kind of thinking.

"So I wasn't sure what you like," Zayn begun, changing the topic, "but I bought you just a regular latte with one sugar and a plain croissant."

Liam's eyes lit up and he held out his hand to take the cup and bag Zayn was handing him.

They tapped their drinks together in cheers before sipping on the instantly body-warming liquid.

"Lattes are perfect, thanks Zayn. And the food too, really," Liam noted, "This is a really nice way to start the day."

Zayn relaxed at that. Even though he knew Liam would probably accept the beverage with a smile even if it was his least favourite, Zayn was happier about Liam thinking the impromptu coffee with him was a nice way to start the day.

He took slow sips of his black coffee, letting the bitter drink heat settle in his stomach and heat his bones. All the while he watched Liam wolf down the croissant and chug his coffee and if Zayn didn't know how much and how often Liam trained and ran and worked, he would never know how the boy had the chiseled, fit body he had from the food he ate.

People started to gather around the school. Zayn checked his phone to see that they only had ten minutes before the start of class now; five before everyone flooded the halls and grounds. Five minutes before it was probably too risky for them to be sitting having a coffee date in the bleachers.

"What do you drink?" Liam asked, pointing at Zayn's take-away cup, "For next time, when it's my shout?"

_Next time_.

"Ah, just black no sugar," Zayn supplied and Liam retorted with questions about how he could possibly drink it - that it's way too strong. "It's not too bad, here, try."

Zayn held out his cup and Liam took a sip before scrunching his nose up like a child. At least he didn't spit it out and carry on like a pork chop, he just casually handed the drink back to Zayn, shaking his head. "That's awful and it's too hot without the milk."

"Eh, you get used to it I guess. Plus it's not unhealthy, because it doesn't have fat and sugar and everything in it," Zayn held a finger up to Liam, silencing his protests, "Not all of us can look like Greek Gods and drink sugary coffees."

Liam looked like he was going to protest again, so Zayn stood up and dusted off the back of his school pants, "We should get going, we've only got a minute or so before there's people everywhere."

The doe-eyed boy followed his actions and stood up as well, grabbing both of their bags off the ground and handing Zayn his.

"Thanks," Zayn acknowledged, "Well, I guess I'll see you soon. Maybe at the assembly?"

Liam nodded, but grabbed Zayn's arm as he went to walk past him, "You're so beautiful. Thank you for this little surprise - first date?"

Zayn nodded, unable to even squeak. Liam pressed a quick peck to his forehead and walked off ahead of him. Zayn remained dazed momentarily and watched Liam walk down the stairs before he even thought about moving.

The word "beautiful" bounced around the inside of his skull at a million miles a minute and even when he regained movement and staggered to class he still had Liam's voice on repeat in his head.

 

 

 

Liam walked down the stairs of the bleachers, leaving the other boy at the top. He shoots a glance back up at Zayn and wonders if he stunned him with his comment and quick kiss. That would be a nice feeling, to stun a boy _that_ attractive into a standstill.

He knew his way to peoples' hearts through words and actions. He knew all the right things to say and all the right things to do to make someone fall for him, but it had never really mattered _all that much_ until now. He wasn't a player, he just had always molded girls with his words and his ways into liking him.

Zayn mattered a little more though, maybe because this was the first time that he wasn't in control of the situation and it hadn't always been a sure thing that Zayn liked him.

He walked to his first class with a spring in his step, feeling a little smug and a little bit happy with himself.

He was two minutes early to the classroom, but his calculus teacher was already inside, so he entered the old portable and took his usual seat.

"Morning Miss Bradley," he greeted the woman sat at the desk at the front of the classroom.

"Good morning, Liam," she looked up from the text book she was thumbing through and a small smile sat on her lips, dark framed glasses sat on her nose. "You're nice and early for once."

Liam didn't mind her, really, she was one of the much better teachers. He guessed she was in her mid to late thirties and always wore her mousy blonde hair pulled back in a tight ponytail and always wore daggy jeans and a plain t-shirt. She was the epitome of a geeky maths teacher, but she was also really sweet.

"Yeah," he laughed in response. The bell rang outside and his classmates started pouring into the warm room, "I caught up with a friend before school so."

Miss Bradley gave him another warm smile and said, "that's nice" before she stood up from her desk and started writing on the chalkboard behind her.

Liam took his his calculator and his pens out of his bag and kicked it under the table. Most people left their stuff in their lockers, but Liam had got into an awful habit of just not bringing textbooks to classes, so he only really had his pens and something to write on to worry about.

A few of the kids in his class talked to him and asked him about himself and training and that Man U game on Friday night and _god,_ how good was Rooney's goal?

It was all just idle conversation with people who, to be completely and brutally honest, he probably won't even think of once he finishes high school. Liam wasn't friends with everybody, but everybody was friends with Liam.

He certainly wasn't rude to them and he enjoyed talking to everyone with a smile on his face, especially when it was about football and he always _loved_ the attention, but right at that moment he just wanted Niall to turn up so he could apologise for running off and explain why.

He and Zayn had decided not to tell anyone, but Niall was his best friend and he wasn't going to lie to him any longer. He wasn't going to tell Josh, because Josh rivaled the biggest gossip queens of the school, but he knew Niall could keep a secret for him.

The kid was loud and sometimes even seemed crazy, sure, but when he needed to be, he was still the best friend Liam had ever had and would move heaven and earth to be there for him. Niall knew every little thing about Liam and Liam didn't want to start losing that.

When Miss Bradley started the class, Niall still hadn't arrived. "So today we're going to be looking at antiderivatives. What that means is we're going to be finding a function that has our original function as a derivative."

Liam and Niall only took calculus because their career advisors had told them that if they wanted to get into the football programs at a good university, then having a strong academic record would help. Liam found it painfully boring, not incredibly hard, but definitely boring. He didn't see the point of maths for maths' sake and much preferred in earlier years of high school when they had done applied mathematics like business maths and finance. 

When was he ever going to use antiderivatives?

"I know it sounds complicated," Miss Bradley chuckled from the front of the class, "but I promise you that if you were okay with derivatives you'll be fine with this."

She began writing an example on the board when Niall burst through the door and stood in the frame, letting in the cold wind from outside. He was taking off his jacket and scarf before someone at the front told him to "close the door, asshole." The boy received a disapproving glare from their teacher and a middle finger from the blonde boy.

Niall closed the door behind him and walked over to Liam. He slung his backpack against the wall and pulled out his books, making his desk look prepared enough that he might possibly fool someone that he was doing any work at all.

"So what happened after training, Payne?" 

There was nobody sitting either side of them - mostly because a majority of the kids in their class were too scared to - and the class was discussing the rules for finding the antiderivative of a power, so Liam was happy to have the conversation now.

"I had coffee with Zayn," Liam replied, his voice was quiet though because despite the noise around them, it would be very bad if someone heard.

Niall's eyebrows shot up, "I need more than that. I know there's more than that."

Liam turned to face Niall and lowered his voice even more so. "Well, he brought me a coffee and a croissant so we could sit together after training. I didn't know he was going to do it," Liam smiled, "it was a surprise."

"And why would he be doing that?" Niall could easily put two and two together and know the answer to his own question, but he wanted to hear it from his friend.

"Well we're kind of seeing each other. We're not together or anything, I don't think at least," Liam furrowed his eyebrows, "but we're just kind of trying it out? Dating."

The class broke off from their chalkboard example and started working out the problems by themselves, but there was still enough chatter to mask Liam and Niall's conversation.

"After school the other night, when you and Josh left us at the shed you know?" Niall nodded in understanding, "Well he explained pretty much everything and we decided that we both kind of like each other and we kissed and decided to try dating. Nobody knows so you can't tell a soul, really, I'm not even supposed to be telling you because of - you know - everything that happened before?"

The blonde boy pulled an invisible zip closed on his lips and pursed them and Liam knew he wouldn't tell anyone. "And then last night after school I went to his house and we just sat and watched a movie and it was really nice. Then this morning he brought me coffee and now you know everything."

Niall's lips remained pursed and he didn't say anything for a few beats. He was mulling the information over in his head, nodding as he sorted and processed it all.

"Well?" Liam prompted, now nervous, and Niall broke into a big fat grin and punched him playfully in the shoulder.

"Payno, you Casanova. Don't worry mate, you know me, I won't spread your news," he reassured, "If you're happy then that's cool. I trust your judgement that he's not a total twat like his friends."

Liam frowned, guaranteeing to his mate that despite being friends with the dickhead spawns of Satan, Zayn was not like them and that was good enough for Niall.

With their final exams coming up soon, they decided that the rest of the class was best spent actually doing some of the questions set by their teacher and the continued to talk about football and Niall filled him in on the party everyone had been talking about this morning on the way to the change rooms that he had completely zoned out on.

They didn't delve into Liam's feelings about Zayn and every little detail of everything he'd ever said to him and if he was a good kisser, because despite all of Liam's recent blushing and drama, he was not a teenaged girl. He was thankful that Niall pretty much took the information in and then left it at that. He didn't pry and Liam was grateful.

He didn't know if he was going to tell Zayn that Niall knows about them or not yet, but he did know that it felt pretty good to have things between him and Zayn developing _and_ have a good friend to talk about it to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that I am Australian, so if I use slang sometimes I'm really sorry. I try my very hardest not to, but I think I wrote "carry on like a pork chop" in this chapter. To carry on like a pork chop means that you complain incessantly or act really silly. If I've missed anything else feel free to ask for a translation!!
> 
>  
> 
> Tune in on Tuesdays for more Turf Wars.
> 
> Always love to hear what you think ♡


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A day late, I know, mucho apologetic.
> 
> I did proof read this, but at 3am so there may still be mistakes. Again, mucho apologetic.

Liam had Biology with Josh straight after calculus, which was incredibly boring. Their teacher had pointed them out and told them that they'd find this subject interesting, because it's how we create and replenish energy, which is cool because Josh and he play so much football it will give them a better understanding of their bodies.

He had even gone as far as to say that next time they're streaming down the pitch they can think about the biological process.

"Pssht, unlikely," Josh had murmured into his ear and Liam agreed and stopped paying attention in that class after 'adenosine triphosphate' had been said three times in one sentence.

He would pick it back up later, study up and read his textbooks some time at home this week. He just couldn't bring himself to focus in that moment.

When the bell rang loud and clear and signified the start of recess and the end of his Biology teacher making reference to his football abilities every second breath, Liam was up and out of the classroom faster than ever.

Josh was not far behind at all and when they got out of the laboratory and into the crowding corridor, they both looked at each other and laughed.

"God, that was shit," Josh commented, slinging his backpack over his shoulder as they walked out the doors and down towards the pitch.

Liam hummed in agreement, wanting to just get to the open grass and have a kick.

Of course when they arrived Niall was already there and was in the process of pulling a football out of his bag. All they ever really seemed to do was kick the ball around. They weren't always training and working on their skills and focusing on details, but they always had a ball at their feet and even their pleasure time away from serious training still involved a ball.

That was the difference between them and the rest: the elite and the not.

Liam knew that that's what it took to be the best. Football had to be your life, it had to be every single second of every single day and you had to want it and love it. He still remembers when he was five years old and his jersey was too big for him, his socks so tall on his tiny legs that they disappeared up his thighs under his long shorts. He was watching one of the big boys, the ones that got to play football on the television, and they were being interviewed. Liam was sitting in front of the couch with a football in his lap, resting his elbows on the ball and his chin on his palms. The player was talking about when he was just five years old and _hey, that's like me_ , Liam had lit up. He had said that he had got a football for his fifth birthday and it never left his side. He used to sleep with, wake up and play with it. He would kick it around under the breakfast, lunch and dinner table and when he went to the shops or to the park or down the street with his mother, he would kick it in front of himself while he walked. He said that that's why he can play the way he can now, because the football became like an extra limb to him. He could control the ball the same way he could control the fingers on each of his hands - and even then, at age five watching the television, Liam decided that that's what he wanted to do.

He wishes he could remember which player it was or find the interview online, but he'd been unsuccessful in any attempts. Though he still credited that interview for making him want to be a professional footballer.

As he grew older he practiced more and more and at about the age of thirteen he realised that his childhood dreams just might be a reality. That's when he started kicking the rest of his training up a notch. He joined the school track team and the school boxing team, he got invited to try out for representative football and missed out. The next year he worked even harder on his fitness and his skills and he made the rep team and he's been in it ever since and now he's the captain.

He is the player that the club and his school see as a prospect to play in the big leagues and he wants it so bad.

He passes the ball back to Niall, laughing at something Josh had just said.

Josh and Niall had helped him train and through that, become even better themselves. They all wanted to be superstars, but deep down Niall and Josh knew that they were good local players and would most likely go on to play football at university and perhaps be lucky enough to make a bit of a living out of it, but didn't quite have the drive or the ability to have the success that Liam was probably going to have.

They still worked hard for whatever success might come their way and when the bell rang and they remembered that they had a careers assembly. They wandered to the hall talking about the universities they wanted to play football for.

Liam really didn't want to go to university. His plan was to try and get the attention of the local League One team this year, though that was his dream plan. If he wasn't scouted then he wanted to get a scholarship to a university that played a high standard of football.

Niall and Josh were just hoping to get into universities that played a high standard of football.

It was a bit too much to think about sometimes, but now that they were so close to finishing high school, it wasn't really a choice anymore.

They filed into the assembly hall and found a bunch of seats about halfway down on the aisle. Josh took his seat first, then Niall sat on one side of Liam, while the aisle seat remained spare.

Liam looked around nonchalantly, occasionally waving and smiling at classmates he caught the eye of. He scanned the aisle on the other side of the hall and saw Zayn walking down the stairs, spotting Louis and Harry sat only a few aisles back from where Liam and his friends were seated.

Zayn did a big loop, walking along the front of the stage and then up the correct aisle, while Liam battled with the idea of inviting him to sit with them.

Niall gave Liam a little shove as Zayn approached and a look that told him to _just do it_.

"Hey! Zayn!" Liam called out.

The dark haired boy lifted his gaze from the floor to look wide-eyed at Liam. What a horrible situation Liam had put him in.

If he sat with him, then everyone would see. If he didn't, he would break Liam's heart.

Zayn looked around himself quickly, scanning the aisles for people who had Liam had caught the attention of, but nobody had.

Liam watched him glance up at Harry and Louis and the spare seat beside them, then let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when Zayn took the seat beside him with a shrug.

"Hey," Zayn smiled at him and Liam gave his thigh a quick squeeze in greeting as their principal started speaking on stage.

"This is a very important time of your life now. Now is the time to make your choices for the future," Mr Higgins started, half of the large auditorium already bored out of their brains, "Of course, you have already selected most of your subjects as you are completing them now."

The large Irishman laughed at himself and nobody else did, "But you need to start deciding and looking at what universities or colleges you wish to attend and what courses you will be applying for. Your applications are due in two weeks, your exams are in one month and then school is over."

The whole year level let out a big cheer and Mr Higgins handed the microphone to the school's head career advisor who told them she was going to bore them all on how to apply for universities and what they should be looking for.

"Where do you want to go?" Liam whispered to Zayn.

"My dream is to do an English degree at Kings," he explains, "in London. Get away from here you know?"

And that breaks Liam's heart a little, but he completely understands. He doesn't want to be born, raised and die in Wolverhampton. He dreams of people knowing his name, he dreams of big cities and big stadiums.

"But I'll probably just do English or Art here at Wolverhampton. What about you?" Zayn prompted.

"Probably Loubourough or Durham - they're two of the best schools for football so I'd have a really good chance of being scouted through them," Liam beams before they sink back into a silence, listening to the processes of applying and teachers reiterating just how important their A-Level exams are.

Liam knows he doesn't have to get exceptional marks to get into a good school, because his football abilities will get him most of the way in, but Zayn fidgets nervously next to them and lets out little whines of worry when they are given examples of entry requirements to a few universities - some local, some elite.

Liam really wants to put his arm around Zayn's shoulder and give him a supportive squeeze, but their classmates have already spotted them sitting together and Liam can hear people whispering and see people staring, so that would throw them entirely under the bus.

Instead he subtly lifts two of his fingers from where they rest beside his leg to gently touch Zayn and he's offered a small smile in return.

When the assembly is finally over, all of Liam, Niall, Zayn and Josh are quick to get up and out of the auditorium before everyone else. Mostly because the heating is on full blast and it's excruciatingly uncomfortable, but also Liam doesn't want to have to deck anyone that gives him and Zayn a dirty look or makes a homophobic comment.

Unfortunately, Louis and Harry slide themselves into the crowd behind them and follow them up the stairs, out the doors and into the cold (which is a relief for once), around the corner and down towards the oval.

They are idly conversing about how horrifically boring the past hour and a half was and are placing their bags on the bottom bench of the bleachers when Louis and Harry finally approach them.

"Zayn! Mate," Louis starts, his tone worryingly friendly, "We saved you a seat, man."

Zayn scratches the back of his necks and gives a nervous laugh, "Yeah, sorry mate, I didn't see you and Liam had a spare seat so."

Everyone knew that that was a blatant lie. Liam and Louis had both watched Zayn's eyes flicker between the two seats before he chose to sit beside the boy he's secretly dating.

"Care to explain?"

Zayn sighed heavily, taking his deck from his backpack and lighting a cigarette before he begun, "Explain what Lou, seriously?"

He blows out a stream of smoke and cards a hand through his raven hair like he can't believe this shit. Liam can sense that he'd fed up and wants to fix it.

He quickly analyses the situation and his options and wonders just how bad it would be if he just flat out told Louis to fuck off and leave them alone - that they're dating and he just needs to get over it. Though he respects that Zayn doesn't want to tell people yet and although his heart wants to tell the world and it not be a problem, his head reminds him of all the bullying he experienced and he wanted to protect the both of them from that happening again.

Before he could manage a retort to Louis that would both shut him up and not give away his secret relationship, Josh is laughing from a few metres behind Zayn and Liam, "What are you like five years old Louis? You're having a go at him for not sitting next to you?"

The patronising comment didn't go down all too well and Louis snarled back, "Shut the fuck up you twat!"

Liam took a quick step to stand in front of Zayn when the now visibly angry boy took a step towards them. Louis was never going to attack Zayn, but for some reason Liam just felt as though he had to create a barrier just in case.

Instead, Louis took another few steps towards Liam, pushing him square in the middle of the chest and sending him stumbling back into Zayn.

"Seriously, Payne? You're such a fucking -"

Liam took a swing before Louis could spit out whatever derogatory name he was about to call him, but didn't connect fully, as Louis took a quick step backwards.

He still hit him though and all niceties were out the window, with Louis calling him a _fucking this_ and a _fucking that,_ while Harry thankfully held him back and dragged him away, throwing an apologetic smile over his shoulder at Zayn while he rubbed the back of his friend's neck to try and calm him.

 _Huh,_ Liam thought, _maybe Harry in't such a dick afterwards - a massive slut, yes, but maybe not a complete asshole._

"I think that I should go," Zayn told only Liam, shooting wary glances at the other two boys, "I'll uhm, speak to you later yeah?"

Liam nodded. He wanted to kiss him and apologise and yes, yes of course I'll call you later, but he couldn't be so obvious. He opted to stand awkwardly and unmoving while Zayn ran after his own friends to probably try and ease tensions.

When Liam turned back around to face his friends, Josh looked completely and utterly confused, while Niall looked almost on high alert: like too much had just happened in one day and he wasn't quite finished processing what Liam had divulged to him earlier.

"Now, I don't know what's going on here," Josh begins, "but I know that I'm definitely missing something."

He looked to Niall for support, but Niall just turned his head. The blonde was always very easy to read and one moment of eye contact would have given away that he knows what is going on and that Josh is the only one in the dark.

"Look mate, just know that whatever is going on," Niall was playing dumb and Liam thanked every and any higher being, "we'll support you."

He finished off his statement by clapping Liam on the back and giving Josh a look that told him to not ask any more questions.

Liam was so thankful then that Niall was such a good friend and that Josh wasn't nosy enough to press the issue.

As is ritual, Niall takes a football out of his bag and they spend the rest of their lunch break passing it around, but Liam kept unusually quiet. Happy to effortlessly flick the ball up and hit Josh with a pass from thirty metres away, but completely lost in his own thoughts.

The whole confrontation, although brief and, in the end, harmless, was quite eye-opening for him. Both his and Zayn's friends were now incredibly curious - he had no idea what Zayn would be saying to Louis right now - and it would surely only be a matter of time before people close to them knew about it. Their social status also probably meant that if anyone knew, everyone knew, so it was also only a matter of time before their relationship was completely public.

They weren't even officially together and already they were facing the inevitable repercussions.

Liam wrestled with himself over whether he wanted people - his friends, classmates, enemies, teachers, family - to work it out themselves, or whether he wanted to be the one to tell them. Surely they could have a little more jurisdiction with damage control if they were the ones to come out themselves.

Come out.

Liam could have sworn that those two words made noises as they bounced around the inside of his head. He had accepted the fact that he was in some kind of relationship and definitely attracted emotionally and physically to a boy, but for some reason the concept of actually coming out as gay or bisexual or whatever he was to his family and friends hadn't particularly crossed his mind. It was a horrifying thought really, because he wasn't quite sure how his family would react. The whole school and his friends obviously had some idea that Liam was interested in guys, or at least Zayn, so it wouldn't be too much of a shock there, but to his family it was going to be completely new and unexpected information.

He excuses himself momentarily to pull his phone out and text Zayn.

**can u come over after school? x**

Maybe Zayn can offer some advice, whether it's from personal experience or just a wild guess. He is quite sure that Zayn's parents aren't aware of his sexuality, but the more he thought about it the more than coming out was something he felt like he needed to do and he didn't want to do it alone.

Zayn replied a minute later, saying that he would meet him outside the gates after school and Liam decided that he could and would do this.

 

+++

 

Liam wasn't quite sure how he always managed to be so fast, but in the short time that Liam had left his classroom, got his things out of his locker and walked to the gate, Zayn was already there, had changed into black jeans, a navy blue cable knit sweater and tan Doc Marten boots. He looked incredible in blue - navy, not the azure blue of their school uniform, though Liam thought he looked quite dashing in that too - and it was a welcome change from the head to toe black he usually wore.

Of course he was already half way through a cigarette when Liam reached him and knew Liam didn't like it, "Do you mind?"

Ever since Liam had expressed his feelings on smoking to Zayn during one conversation in class, Zayn had started putting them out when they were together, but when he asked it meant he was quite desperate, so Liam didn't mind.

"No, go ahead," It had been a stressful day for both of them.

They walk mostly in silence back to Liam's house. Zayn had never been to his home before and clears his throat as they walk through the gate and up to the front door.

"Are your parents home?" he asks and Liam isn't quite sure.

"Mum should be home, her name's Karen by the way. Dad won't be home until later and I have two sisters, but they moved away to study," Liam explained, digging through his pockets to find his key, holding it up victoriously when he did before unlocking the door and motioning for Zayn to enter before him.

"Wow," Zayn stood in the entrance hall, looking around him, "your house is so nice."

Liam crinkles his nose a little, because he doesn't think his house is _that_ nice. It's not a mansion, but it's not a dump: it is somewhere in between. It is definitely big enough for five people to live in comfortably, because they hadn't moved since his sisters had lived with them. His parents were not wealthy by any standards, but they had enough money to decorate the house and more importantly, his mother was very proud of her home and everything was always in perfect order and perfectly clean.

So yeah, maybe his house was nice, but maybe not _wow_ , though Liam had to remind himself that Zayn lived in a very, very small home. The size of Liam's lounge and the fact that they even had an entrance hall was probably enough to elicit praise.

"Thank you," Liam smiles, reaching out to give Zayn's hand a squeeze, "C'mon, we'll go up to my room to dump our stuff then see if Mum's home."

Zayn follows him up the carpeted stairs and to the right to Liam's bedroom. His door still covered in large stickers of the letters L, I, A and M, as well as a few soccer ball stickers from when he was younger. He pushed open the door, again letting Zayn in before him. 

His room was quite spacious and very light. He had a big window towards the back that illuminated the room and the all white walls helped. There were a few posters of soccer players and even one of a half naked girl, which Liam suddenly wished he'd removed and hoped Zayn didn't notice. His desk was covered in papers and his laptop, though his bed was made and all of his clothes had been picked up off the floor and placed in the basket behind his door. His mum had clearly cleaned up during the day.

"Of course," Zayn laughs, noting the rack of dumbbells at the end of Liam's bed and then the shelves and shelves of awards and trophies. "This is exactly what I expected your room to be like."

Liam laughs and drops his bag on the floor, turning back towards Zayn and placing his hands firmly on his biceps.

He watches Zayn bite his lip in the most torturous fashion and follows his caramel eyes as they drop to stare at his lips. He quickly licks his lips before he surges forward to catch Zayn's bottom lip between his own.

Zayn lets out a groan and Liam wants to melt in relief. _God_ , it was so difficult for him not being able to touch Zayn all day.

Their kiss isn't hungry and it doesn't escalate. Liam pulls back after a few seconds, because right now that relief was all he really needed.

"I missed you today," Liam confesses. They were together nearly all day, but Zayn understands what he means. "Let's go meet my Mum."

Zayn nods, "Yeah sure. Can I borrow like a cologne or something?"

Liam tilts his head in question, but Zayn explains that he smells "horribly of cigarettes."

So Liam throws him a bottle that's sitting on his desk and Zayn puts it on and suddenly Liam is conflicted.

"You don't smell like you anymore," Liam pouts and Zayn smirks, because that means that Liam has familiarized himself with his smell.

Liam leads him out of the room and down to the kitchen, where is Mum is sitting at the dining table reading a book.

She puts it down and takes off her glasses, smiling at the pair as they walk into the room.

"Hello muffin," Karen greets her son, who reddens at the pet name. "Who's this handsome friend of yours?"

"Mum, Zayn. Zayn, Karen," Zayn lifts a hand to wave in greeting, but Karen stands up to give him a hug. Zayn looked wide-eyed at a chuckling Liam over her shoulder.

"Lovely to meet you Zayn," she pulls away and Zayn returns the comment, "Will you be joining us for dinner?"

They both shoot looks at Liam, asking him to answer although the question was not aimed at him.

"If he's not busy?" Liam asks. Then it is decided that he will stay for dinner and that if they want anything to eat or drink there are things in the fridge and pantry and Karen returns to her book and the boys return to Liam's bedroom.

Liam sits on his bed and the other boy takes a spot beside him, leaning his head on Liam's shoulder and closing his eyes.

"I wanted to talk to you about something pretty serious," Liam starts, carding his fingers through Zayn's hair, while his other hand finds one of Zayn's and the dark haired boy hums in response.

"I really think that I should come out to my parents," Zayn immediately pulls aware to stare at Liam, but allows him to continue without interruption, "I just don't really want to have to hide us from home as well, you know? I feel like the whole school's probably going to know pretty soon anyway, but I just don't like lying to my parents and I don't want to tell them you're just a friend. I want to be able to sit with you in my own bedroom and not have to be worried that someone's going to burst through the door and realise we're not just friends. What do you think?"

Zayn blinks, unsure. "I think that if you want to, then you should tell them, _if_ you think they'd be okay with it?"

"I'm sure they would be," he nods, "They're not homophobic people and they have no reason to be not okay with it."

Zayn lays his head back down on Liam's lap this time and strong hands immediately return to continue tracing patterns through his hair.

"Will you help me then?" he asks the boy on his lap who he could swear is about to start purring any second now, "If we tell them at dinner tonight?"

Zayn's stomach sinks, but it's not like he is telling his own parents and if it is something Liam really wants to do then he will help. "What are you telling them we are though? Are you introducing me as your boyfriend or just a guy you're dating?"

Liam picks mindlessly at the fabric of Zayn's sweater at his waist, "What would you like me to say?"

Zayn rolls over so he is looking up into soft brown eyes, lifting his fingers to lightly run over Liam's Adam's apple and birthmark, up under his chin and then to cup the side of his face, "Boyfriend, would be nice."

Liam bends over and places a sweet kiss on his now boyfriend's lips, "Boyfriend it is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tune in on Tuesdays for more Turf Wars.
> 
> Always love to hear what you think ♡


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a day late, but this chapter is a couple of thousand words longer than usual/planned and I wanted to write it all as one rather than "Part One", "Part Two", so I figured I'd take an extra day and bundle it all in one super large chapter. 
> 
>  
> 
> Also I made a pretty big decision to delete the prologue. One of the many joys of writing and posting a novel chapter by chapter are that when you want to make changes, it's already out there and there's not a whole heap you can do. However, the prologue is something that had been frustrating me for quite a while - mostly because I wrote it about two years ago and I find that the way I used to write is quite immature and not of a standard I like to try and uphold. It was also making my epilogue quite difficult to write, because I was so focused on trying to tie the story back to the prologue that I wasn't able to go in the direction I wanted to.
> 
> Long story short, I deleted the prologue because I think it was shit and I much prefer this story without it and let's all move on, because now the planning for this story is complete. How exciting! 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, enjoy :)

 

 

It had all seemed so damn simple in Liam's head. They were only words and it was the truth, so surely it couldn't be that hard. His closest friends already knew and they were fine with it, most of his school had put the pieces together and they weren't quite fine with it, but he'd survived. He isn't straight, he has a boyfriend - that was it.

Liam and Zayn were sprawled across Liam's bed reading their textbooks when they heard Liam's father arrive home. Liam felt his fingers twitch when he heard the car pull up, his stomach churned when he heard the door open, but he told himself he was being silly. There was nothing to be nervous about.

When Liam's mother called the pair down for dinner, his eyes flew open and he started breathing heavy. Zayn had taken his hand and gripped it tight and when they got to the top of the stairs before heading down to the dining room, Zayn kissed him firmly on the lips, whispering into his ear that everything would be alright and nuzzling his nose quickly into his chest.

When they enter the dining room, Liam's father stands up to introduce himself and insists that Zayn call him Geoff when he shakes his hand and nods a polite, "Nice to meet you, Mr. Payne."

Liam had been sure he wouldn't be nervous, that he wouldn't freak out, but now, sitting at the table with Zayn sitting across from him, his father beside him and his mother next to Zayn, his hands start to sweat and he tries ever so hard to focus on the conversation being had over the chicken parmigiana and roast vegetables.

"How come we haven't met you before, Zayn?" Karen asks.

"I only just moved here about," Zayn furrows his eyebrows, making mental calculations, "only a month or so ago. Maybe six weeks."

"And where were you before that?"

"Bradford. We moved for Dad's work."

The lie seems to fall effortlessly from Zayn's lips and Liam's heart sinks that he has to lie about why he moved. It also brings to mind that Zayn had to move towns just because he came out as gay and that settles heavy in Liam's stomach.

"And how was school and training?"

Geoff directs the conversation back to his son and Liam uncomfortable places his knife and fork down and shoots a quick glance at his boyfriend, who just smiles softly and encouragingly.

"Yeah good, nothing new," he starts, "but actually I have something that I want to tell you both."

He looks to his left to his father and across the table at his mother, then down at his fiddling hands in his lap.

"Is everything okay, love?" Karen asks with a hint of worry and a dash of motherly instinct in her tone.

Liam laughs nervously, "Yeah, everything's fine. Everything's great really.

He smiles at Zayn and it's reciprocated by Zayn locking his ankles around Liam's underneath the table. The contact almost calms him instantly.

 _This is worth it_ , he chants like mantra to himself, _Zayn is worth it. They'll be okay, don't even worry. This is stupid, just tell them._

"Okay, well, I won't tiptoe around it, because it doesn't really need much else said about it, but I'm not straight."

"What do you mean you're not straight?" Geoff's question isn't accusatory or harsh or spat, just gently asking for an explanation or just a little more substance.

"Well, Zayn's actually my boyfriend."

Zayn chokes on his drink a little and Karen's mouth drops open and Geoff's mouth slaps shut.

There's a lingering, uncomfortable silence. Liam's gaze flicks from his mother to his father and back again several times, waiting for someone to just bloody say something, because he thought it would all be okay, but the longer the silence drags on the more he worries that it won't be.

His parents seem to have some sort of wordless, telepathic conversation via an intense stare and when they finally break it, Karen speaks.

"Oh honey, if you'd told me you were bringing your boyfriend over I would have cooked something a little nicer."

Zayn stifles a laugh and Liam looks shocked.

"What? Really?" Surely it wasn't _that_ easy. He knew deep down in his heart his parents would be okay with his new found sexuality, but he didn't think his mother's reaction would be over the adequacy of the quality of the meal she had prepared. "That's all?"

"We don't mind sweetie. As long as you're happy," she explains, "Although I do have a few quick, quick questions for you?"

Liam nods to let her know she can ask them.

"How long have you known?"

"Since I met Zayn."

"Do you still like girls?"

"I think so, I don't know. Probably."

"How long have you two been together?"

"Officially-" he smiles across at Zayn, who is shrinking into his seat with embarrassment, but who still manages to smile back at him with his eyes, "about an hour. But we realised we liked each other about a month ago."

"Okay, and last question. I'm really, so sorry, but as a mother I have to ask. You don't need to have a talk about safe sex?"

"KAREN!" Geoff tells off his wife and he's burning bright red. Probably because he's trying to eat his dinner and conversation has turned to his only son having sexual relations with another male.

Though he couldn't possibly rival Zayn and Liam in a reddened cheeks competition. Zayn's dark skin, which is usually almost impossible to see blush on, deepens even further in colour and Liam could count his pulse from his cheek right now if he wanted to.

"Mum," Liam half groaned, half pleaded. Zayn took a big chug of water with a shaky hand, "We've already had that chat. It's not necessary, no. Please don't."

"Okay, I'm sorry. Like I said, I had to ask. Last time we had the chat was because you brought home a girl, so I thought it might -"

Geoff silenced Karen, by leaning a hand over the table and glaring her down, basically begging her to stop before she causes her son's face to melt off.

"If you're worried that we would think differently of you Liam, you can put that to rest. Your mother and I love you unconditionally," Liam's head bows under the praise and he finally relaxes, completely at ease. "And Zayn, you seem like a lovely boy, very polite. You're very lucky. Our Liam's a special lad, but if you hurt him."

Geoff didn't have to finish his threat, Zayn nodding under his gaze. "Wouldn't dream of it, sir."

"Geoff," he corrects with a calming smile.

"Right. Thank you."

Liam hears his father mumble something under his breath about how he thought he was finished with threatening boyfriends now that his daughters had left their teen years, but Liam didn't comment on it, because it wasn't hateful or disapproving; it was an incredulous observation to himself, as if he was laughing it off.

The rest of dinner went on quietly and normally, although Liam wasn't the only one softly smiling at Zayn now. His mother seemed to be infatuated with the pair of them, Liam half expected her eyes to turn into cartoon love hearts that pop out and burst above her head as they float into the sky. She smiles whenever she catches Liam looking at Zayn and vice versa and she absolutely beams when they finish dinner and Zayn insists on helping her clean up.

Geoff stands up, clapping his son on the shoulder supportively before he presumably grabs a beer and goes to watch the football, and Liam is left sitting at the table.

He closes his eyes and takes deep, deep breathes. He lets himself relax, because he did well. His parents reacted exactly the way he thought they would. His parents didn't care that he has a boyfriend, he was probably only an hour from having to pry his mother off of Zayn, so they not only approved of his sexuality, but they also approved of his boyfriend.

That was definitely something that Liam hadn't really thought of. He was so caught up and only thinking about coming out, that he had completely forgotten that Zayn would have probably been incredibly nervous about earning his parents approval.

Liam stands up and wanders into the kitchen to see Zayn's sleeves rolled up and elbow deep in soapy water.

_How fantastically domestic._

And Liam never would have thought that Zayn would have looked so perfect in a rolled up knit, in his kitchen, washing plates. The Zayn he usually saw smoked cigarettes and weed and wore dark clothes and hung out with the sewer rats of the school, but this was a nice change.

He walks over to the sink and wraps his arms around Zayn's waist from behind, letting his chin rest on his shoulder.

He's not a whole lot taller than Zayn is, but he's definitely broader, so he envelops Zayn's smaller frame as if he was six inches taller.

Karen all but squeaks when she reenters the kitchen, but Liam doesn't bother pulling away, just turning his head to acknowledge his mother.

"Oh Zayn, thank you honey," she comes closer to them, "but you don't have to do that. I'll do it. You two go back upstairs."

They both nod and Liam gives his mother a quick squeeze and she tells him she loves him and wishes him goodnight, before he grabs Zayn's hand and walks him back up the flight of stairs.

When he gets to the top he takes Zayn's legs out from underneath him with a hand at the back of his knees, but catches him as he falls back with his free arm, scooping him up and carrying him into his bedroom.

It was funny the way that they had fallen into a comfortable physical relationship so easily. Not humour funny and not even really odd funny, just unexpected funny. Unexpected in that Liam never knew he could feel so natural around somebody. It was so easy to slide into this new way of acting around Zayn. He didn't feel the need to hold back any words or actions.

Liam kicked the door shut behind him and pressed his lips to Zayn's gently before he threw him down onto the bed.

Maybe he was feeling giddy and free from successfully coming out to his parents, maybe he just felt so happy that Zayn and he were now official. Maybe it was a mixture of the two, but whatever it was that made Liam feel this way, he'd never felt so light and at ease in his life.

It wasn't as if he had had a hard life, it wasn't as if he'd felt heavy and strapped down and miserable before, he'd just reached a new level of happiness - one that made the feeling he used to call happiness seem mediocre in comparison.

The second Zayn's back hits the covers of the sheets, he stops smiling and laughing and instead his eyes beam up at Liam filled with something sultry and he pulls his bottom lip in between his teeth.

Liam steps in between his legs that are hanging off the edge of the bed and places his hands on the mattress either side of Zayn's head. He watches the corners of Zayn's mouth twitch up into a smirk, as he slowly lowers himself down, closer and closer to him.

He moves at a glacial pace, then stops to hover when he can just feel his lips ghosting against Zayn's. He waits, feeling Zayn's hot breath against his. He had been looking down, but when he brings his eyes back up he's met with Zayn staring right at him and he's starting to squirm underneath him impatiently.

Zayn finally has enough of waiting, clearly, because he lifts his head up of the mattress and crushes their lips together, sliding his hands up through Liam's short hair to grasp the back of his head and pull him even closer.

Their lips move hungrily against one another, hot and excited and full of energy.

"You did," Zayn breathes out when he pulls himself away for air, "You did so well, baby."

Liam moves his lips to the sharp edge of Zayn's jaw and the boy throws his head back to give him better access. Liam thanks Zayn for his support by licking and biting a mark onto the side of his neck and eliciting sharp little intakes of breath from Zayn.

"I'm so proud of you," Zayn's eyes radiate something special at Liam, before Liam presses their lips back together.

He brings his right knee down and slides it between Zayn's legs, putting pressure on his crotch and drawing out a moan from the boy whose back arches off the bed, begging for Liam to touch him.

Zayn ruts desperately against Liam's leg, searching for any form of contact he can get while their kiss continues to build in intensity.

Liam removes his hands from the bed and slides them underneath Zayn's back. He lifts the smaller boy up and rotates him so his head is leaning against the pillow and lays himself on top of him, his forearms bracing either side of Zayn's shoulders to relieve the weight of his body.

Once Liam is happy with his position above Zayn, he rolls his hips down to press them together and he finds that Zayn is just as hard as he is, both of them breaking the kiss to moan against each others' lips.

Every hair on Liam's body feels like it's standing up and he can feel the blood rushing past his ears and he can hear the air catch in Zayn's throat every time he grinds his hips against Zayn's and Liam fails to remember a time he's ever been this turned on.

"Liam, please," Zayn begs and Liam wouldn't have thought of him as someone who begs, but it's a colour that Liam loves on him.

"Please what?"

"Touch me, please, do something, I-"

Liam silences him with another bruising kiss, tugging up the fabric of Zayn's knit. When Zayn pulls away to remove every piece of clothing torso upwards, Liam sits upright to take his own shirt off as well.

He's still sitting up when Zayn starts running his fingers up and down Liam's stomach. Liam knows he looks good naked and the look in Zayn's eyes and the way he spans his hands across Liam's body tells him that he knows it too. Zayn's expression is one of bewilderment and awe, as if he can't believe he gets to touch this boy and kiss him and call him his own.

Liam's hands move to unzip Zayn's jeans while Zayn's fingers spread themselves out against Liam's chest.

Liam finds himself going completely on instinct when he starts kissing Zayn's chest and helps him wiggle his pants off. One of his hands keeps his balance while the other moves to cup Zayn through his briefs. He moans lower than Liam's ever heard. Liam palms him through the fabric until the cotton is soaked through, Zayn is leaking and breathing heavy and he's about to scream unless Liam touches him properly soon.

Liam quickly slides his own pants down so that he feels more comfortable and free, because his cock is straining against his underwear and it's almost unbearable.

Though his lack of experience doesn't allow him to get both of them off at the same time and he wants to give Zayn something more than desperately grinding against each other until they come.

So he slips his fingers under the elastic of Zayn's waistband and kisses him again, a little slower this time - focusing more on what his hand is doing than what his lips are doing.

Zayn's cock springs free and lands against the tight, dark skin of his stomach as Liam shoves his underwear out of the way.

He wraps his hand around the middle of Zayn's length and he feels hot and heavy in his hand and so much different to the way he feels in his own hand. Zayn bites down hard on the other boy's bottom lip as he runs his thumb over the head, spreading precome down Zayn's length.

Liam makes special note of the low, filthy, rumbling moan that comes out of Zayn's chest and lips when he starts to move his fingers up and down his length. He starts off slow, getting a feel for what he is doing and slowly builds up into a rhythm. He moves faster and faster, flicking his wrist and stopping every few strokes to press his thumb against the tip and slide back down again.

Zayn's breathing gets heavier and Liam's hand moves faster and his hips lift of the mattress, trying to get more contact, more pressure, more Liam.

His lips become sloppy against Liam's and his moans and grunts melt into higher pitched, continuous whimpers and Liam can tell he's close.

Liam gives him three more quick strokes, squeezing slightly and adding pressure and Zayn is crying out, biting down hard just below Liam's ear, where the corner of his jaw meets his neck, and he comes onto his stomach panting heavily with his eyes jammed shut. Liam strokes him softly as he comes down.

"You're so hot when you come," Liam whispers into his ear and his voice is deep- so, so deep and husky - and full of lust.

Zayn kicks off his underwear that was pooled around his feet and summons the energy to roll Liam over so that Zayn's on top.

Zayn's hands and lips trail their way down Liam stomach and he hovers momentarily, before he presses his open mouth to the outline of Liam's cock in his briefs.

Liam throws an arm over his eyes, arching his back into the touch and Zayn wastes no time in removing his underwear and pressing a kiss to the tip of Liam's leaking cock.

When Liam moans and his legs go to jelly, Zayn smirks up at him, making sure he has eye contact before his slides his lips over and down Liam's length.

Liam is as equally impressed as he is turned on, really, because Zayn takes him almost all the way down. The other boy is pretty pleased with himself as well, because Liam is really quite big.

His cock is as far into Zayn's hot, wet mouth as he can manage and he wraps his hand around the bottom of his length so the top of his fist meets his lips.

He flutters his eyes so his lashes splay across his cheekbones in a way that drives Liam crazy before he starts moving his mouth up and down, his cheeks hollowing and his hand pumping and meeting his mouth half way.

Liam watches his boyfriend intently, knowing he won't last long. Zayn reaches his spare hand underneath to massage his balls and Liam can't help the volume of the groan he lets out.

Zayn flicks his tongue over Liam's tip, then runs it down the thick vein on the underside of his cock, driving Liam more and more insane with every lick and suck.

It isn't very long before Liam tries to warn Zayn that he's about to come, but the other boy doesn't seem to care and then Liam is letting out a low grunt and lifting his hips and coming down Zayn's throat.

Zayn pulls off with a pop and a string of saliva and come hanging between his lips and Liam's softening cock. He sits up and swallows and Liam watches him with wide eyes before lifting a thumb to wipe Zayn's pretty, swollen lips clean.

"C'mere," Liam beckons, holding his arms out, but Zayn quickly jumps off the bed, flicking off the light switch by the door, before returning to the bed where Liam had thrown all their clothes off of and onto the floor and got himself under the blankets.

Zayn climbs in next to him and Liam closes his arms around him, kissing sweet, soft kisses onto his salty skin and lips.

"Well that was amazing," Liam almost laughs.

"You're amazing," Zayn sends back, taking a deep breath before he continues.

"And your family are amazing and I'm so proud of the way you handled yourself at dinner. You're so brave, I wish I could be half of it as you are."

Liam let his finger dance pattern along Zayn's naked waist, while he formulated a response.

"I think... don't take this badly, I don't mean it so, but I think that you just don't have the confidence to know or hope that everything will be okay. No wait, I just mean that you have this facade where you're really, I guess, angry at the world and you spit on conformity and everything it stands for, but I know that's not you. You're this. You're quiet and shy and you blush and you seem so small sometimes and I feel the need- I like feeling the need to protect you."

Liam sighs, neither of them not quite sure where he's going with this.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you don't think you're brave enough, then I'll fill in the missing pieces. If you want to come out, then I'll protect you. Physically, emotionally, socially. I wouldn't even think of letting anyone get away with saying something rude or disrespectful to you, or trying to hurt you. Whether it's the lads at school you're worried about coming out to or your family, I'll protect you."

Even though coming out to his family isn't and probably never will be an option, Zayn presses a soft kiss and a thank you against his lips and visibly relaxes, melting into Liam's embrace.

Liam falls asleep to Zayn's slowing breaths and Zayn follows shortly after, feeling at home in a tangle of limbs.

 

 

+++

 

 

"I think we should tell our friends," Zayn sighs into his coffee cup. They were together for exactly a week today and both of them were starting to tire not just of the lies, but mostly the sneaking around. They meet up at a local coffee shop - not Zayn and Louis' favourite one, in fear of running into Louis - every morning that Liam doesn't have training and on the days that he does, Zayn brings him coffee and something to eat, Liam sneakily ducks away from his team and they get to spend five or ten minutes together before school starts.

The latter option has only been possible do to Niall being in on it and coming up with explanations to give the boys on the team when Liam seems to vanish so quickly after training, but Zayn still doesn't know that and Liam wants to stop that lie too.

Well, it's not a lie, because if Zayn asked him if Niall knew he would tell him, but he hasn't asked so Liam hasn't divulged the truth.

Though either way, Liam still feels wrong about it all and he is with coming out to their friendship groups, but he has to wait for Zayn to want to as well. It was, of course, a decision that needed to be made together.

So when Zayn finally suggests it, Liam all but jumps out of his skin, beaming across the small wooden table.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I mean, they kind of already know don't they?"

Liam didn't respond to him verbally, just nodding his head. He knew what Zayn meant. He wasn't incinuating that Liam had already dropped the bombshell, he was referring to the fact that their friends already know they've kissed, they have also already speculated something more is going on. Harry has been on Zayn's back about it for a few days, constantly telling him that he can sense something's different and that he promises he won't tell Louis, but just _please, please tell me, Zee._

Josh has also been pestering Liam about it, but in an almost indirect way. He keeps bringing up conversations he has overheard or something that Jessica or Rachel or Sarah spoke to him about - just bullshit gossip from girls who seem to have dedicated their lives to keeping up with Liam's love and sex life. _The perks of being popular,_ Liam had scoffed to himself.

Everybody wanted in on their business. Zayn's popularity had skyrocketed him to basically top of the school alongside Liam, because he had ties - or presumed ties - to both most popular groups. He was admired, because he was apparently associated with Liam and he was feared, because he was friends with Louis.

Basically, this meant that people were genuinely interested in them whatever or whoever they did and the fact that they might be together just seemed to send a spanner into the gossip mill's works.

If they told their friends and their friends were supportive, then it would make it a whole lot easier to deal with the petty gossip and rumours, however true it all may be.

"I think it's a really good idea, Zayn," Liam encourages, "I know you're a bit scared and rightly so, but like I've always said, I'm not going to let anyone hurt you and I think that if it all goes well then it will make our lives a lot easier."

He leans across the table and laces the fingers of his spare hand through Zayn's, "We wouldn't have to hide away in coffee shops anymore."

"I know, I know. We'll have a bit more freedom, but I just worry what Louis will say."

Zayn worries his bottom lip and Liam gives his hand a gentle squeeze, "I know he's you're friend, but honestly Zayn, if he isn't supportive of you then he's not a good mate, is he?"

Although true, Liam's words don't particularly calm Zayn, they just confirm what he already knows. He knows that telling Louis that he's dating the boy he's hated since he started school, _that football prick that thinks the sun shines out of his fucking ass_ , then he could lose him as a friend.

He feels okay in telling Harry, because he has this odd (and to be honest, unjustified), though instinctive feeling that Harry will understand and be accepting, even if he hates Liam.

Zayn and Louis have a lot of fun together, but Harry and he seem to have a bit more substance to their friendship.

Zayn's stomach twists as Liam gets up to pay for their breakfast and returns with a smile, quietly telling him, "We'll tell them today yeah? At lunch?".

 

 

 

 

The time from the coffee shop to lunch felt like an eternity, but when the bell rings Zayn begs for more time.

They had decided to tell their friends together, as a couple, but not with the two groups together. Zayn was to meet Liam outside the library and they would head to the gym to tell Niall and Josh, then to the cafeteria to tell Harry and Louis.

First up is Liam's friends, because they knew it would be seamless and completely unproblematic, but Zayn still fidgets with the fabric of his school jumper, constantly tightening and unfastening the grey scarf around his neck nervously as they approach the big brick building.

It's a miserable day outside, so almost everyone remotely athletic was in the gymnasium and anyone else was in the library or the cafeteria.

"Well what do we have here?" Niall's eyes glisten with excitement and a hint of knowing when the pair approached him and Josh.

"We, uh, we have something to tell you-"

"You're together!" Josh interrupts and Zayn's eyebrows fly to his hairline.

"How did you-"

"Know?" Josh has a terrible habit of finishing people's sentences and answering unfinished questions. Zayn would get used to it and Liam just let it pass, "Well it's only bloody obvious and it's also the only thing anybody talks about."

Liam shrugs and takes that as acceptance, "You can't tell anyone though. We're telling you two and we're telling Harry and Louis and that's it for now."

Josh pouts almost immediately, but Niall nods understandingly.

"Well, we're happy for you both," the blonde offers, "Have you told Beavis and Butthead yet?"

"No, we're about to go tell them now."

Niall and Josh both congratulate them again and shoo them off, telling them to go tell the world and making grand romantic comments and Niall even pretends to give a best man speech before bellowing out a laugh that ricochets off the vast walls of the gym.

"Well, that was easy," Zayn laughs almost incredulously, beaming at his boyfriend. As much as Liam had reassured them that they wouldn't have any problems, he had something at the bottom of his stomach and the back of his head that told him otherwise. He just hoped to whoever or whatever was up there in the sky that they had the same ease with his own friends, although he wasn't feeling well about it.

"Beavis and Butthead?" He remembers, laughing and shaking his head. Liam just shrugs, his lips twitching, trying not to smile at the nicknames they'd given to Harry and Louis when they were just starting high school.

When they walk into the cafeteria it as about as full as Liam has ever seen it. There are people on every single chair, people sitting on tables, people sitting on the floor in between the tables. The lunch ladies look flustered, as they try to serve the incredible queue that has formed and the chatter that fills the glass-walled room is hard to talk over.

They spot Harry and Louis at the furthest table in the back corner. Louis has his feet up on the table and Harry has a few girls trying to talk to him and Eleanor is slumped in her chair next to her boyfriend, incessantly smacking her gum and typing away at her phone the way she always seemed to. Liam often wondered what would actually happen if someone took her phone away from her and his likely scenarios ranged from her actually dropping dead to the floor to the phone-remover earning a whopping slap to the face.

Louis raised an eyebrow at the two of them once they were standing at their table. Everyone seemed to stop and look and not just people from that table. It felt like the whole cafeteria had stopped to watch, probably in the hope of seeing a fight.

But no punches would be thrown today - hopefully not.

"Hey Lou, can we have a chat mate?" Zayn asked him, but was more-so indirecting that those who weren't imperative to the group please leave.

All Louis had to do was wave his hand, as if to say, "Yes, okay," and everyone apart from himself, Harry and Eleanor got up and left while exchanging glances.

"And El, do you mind?"

Liam almost laughed, because she didn't even look up at Zayn, just snarled a little and stood up and walked away, swaying her hips. He would have laughed, really, if this whole situation unfolding didn't feel like a mafia meeting to resolve turf wars.

"Okay, let's hear it," Louis demands, taking his feet off the table while Zayn and Liam pull up seats opposite him and Harry.

"We're together," Zayn comes out with it, straight and to the point and Liam's a little proud. If he's proud _and_ shitting bricks at what might come next, then nobody needs to know.

Zayn had been right about Harry, because his eyes light up and he breaks into a dimply grin, but it quickly fades when Louis shoots him a judgmental glare.

"Okay, so you're telling everyone," Louis fills in the dots for them.

"No, we told my friends and now we're telling you two," Liam corrects and Louis turns his sass on full, pulling a face at him that could make anybody feel like they were wrong and sorry.

"Oh no," he laughs and Liam suddenly feels sick, because he knows that tone. Usually he'd punch it out of Louis, but right now he will just have to grit his teeth. "I wasn't asking, I was telling you. You're telling everyone. I have no vested interest in keeping your dirty little secret. If you want to be together _that badly,_ which honestly Zayn, c'mon mate, you can do a thousand times better. You've dropped your standards. Anyway, if this is what you want then everyone finds out."

Zayn goes completely pale beside Liam and he senses it immediately.

"You get nothing out that except being a complete fucking prick to one of your mates," Liam spits across the table.

Louis just shrugs as if he has no control over it. He's laid his cards on the table like Zayn and Liam's relationship is some kind of game, a choice. It's almost as if he's punishing Zayn and as much as it makes no sense to Zayn, Liam knows he just likes to fuck with people, play them like puppets and tangle their strings.

Louis stands up and looks over to where Eleanor is tapping her foot impatiently about ten metres behind them, "C'mon Haz, let's go. Thanks for telling me Zee. It's nothing against you babe, just this asshole you seem to have taken a shining to."

He saunters off to his girlfriend with Harry in tow, however Harry stays back momentarily to wink at Zayn and whisper to the two of them, "I think you're cute."

Liam is completely surprised, but Zayn seemed to have expected it and all that really matters to Liam right now is that Zayn now has a soft smile on his lips.

"That went okay."

"That was terrible Liam, are you serious?" Zayn groans, burying his head in his folded arms on the table while Liam resists the urge to soothingly caress his back due to the fact that they are not completely public knowledge just yet and they are very much in public. Although, after Louis' threat, Liam doesn't think they'll be a well kept secret for much longer.

"Everyone's going to find out eventually. Hey, at least Harry's not as fucking terrible as I thought he was."

Zayn looked up from the table, "Yeah, he has his moments. He's a pretty good lad, really, just sleeps around a lot. Gets a bad rep, you know?"

The raven haired boy takes in a massive breathe and lets it all out at once in probably the most exhausted sigh Liam's ever heard.

He just needs to get Zayn's mind off of it all, because it's done now and there's nothing they can do.

"Did you want some pasta from the canteen?" And Zayn nods.

Liam returns with food for the two of them five minutes later, wary of all the eyes on him as he makes his way back to sit alone with the boy he's rumored to be dating, but finally he doesn't really care. Everyone will know about them by the end of the week anyway, so why not share a meal and starting using the freedom they would now have a little earlier?

After all, the last school football game of the year was the next week, their university preferences were due the week after and before long school would be finished and they would never have to see any of these people ever again if they didn't want to.

That was kind of freeing. Liam liked that. He felt invincible and the boy sat beside him was mostly responsible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tune in on Tuesdays for more Turf Wars.
> 
> Always, always love to hear what you think ♡


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow, what's it been? Five, six months? Please don't hate me.
> 
> I can assure you that despite what a shitty updater I have proven myself to be, that I will never abandon a fic completely. I will finish every fic I post.
> 
> In saying that, please enjoy, please always let me know what you think.
> 
> And if you've returned, thank you for your patience :) x

The wind seems to pass through Zayn’s bones as it blows in heavy gusts. He huddles further into his leather jacket, but it does little to help. Instead he buries his chin into the blue scarf he’s wearing – the only item of clothing he’s wearing that shows his support for the school football team.

Some of his classmates are dressed from head to toe in school jerseys and some have even gone to the extent of putting stripes on their faces with blue face paint.

Even though Zayn’s boyfriend is the captain and star of the team, he can’t bring himself to show _that_ amount of support. The fact that he’s there and wearing a blue scarf and has managed to drag Harry along with him is more than enough, especially considering nobody but their friends knows that they’re together at this point in time.

Harry is appropriately dressed in a knit and a big black coat as well as his normal jeans and boots and Zayn silently envies his warmth.

The crowd around them bursts into life as the team runs out on to the pitch and the referee blows his whistle for the captains to join him in the middle.

It’s the last game of the year and their school has won just over half of its games. Liam told Zayn the exact statistics, but he doesn’t quite recall them. All he remembers is that this game doesn’t make a whole lot of difference, as they won’t be playing finals anyway. Liam explains that although they clearly have good players, the bottom players are very average and that pulls them down. Liam, despite always wanting to win and be the best, doesn’t really care though because representative football is the one that matters and Zayn doesn’t really care at all.

In the middle of the pitch, Liam meets with the opposition captain and shakes his hand and the referee’s. Zayn can see him say something and he’s sure it’s something very sportsmanlike. Even though he can be arrogant and even though he knows he’s better than most, he has an air of professionalism and he really is a very well behaved and presented leader.

Liam seems to win the toss and the bleacher of their school’s fans cheers. Zayn would probably guess that the number of students that have showed up to watch is just fewer than three hundred, which is really good, honestly, considering that there’s only about five hundred kids at their school.

All the players run into their positions on the field and Liam starts with the ball in the middle. He smiles up at Zayn in the stands just before the whistle blows and even though he’s far away, Zayn can feel his eyes sparkling.

Liam rolls the ball backwards to Niall and runs off and the game has begun. Niall dribbles up to an opposition player, then flicks it swiftly off to the side to one of the younger boys on their team. The other school’s crowd bursts into cheers though when one of their players easily tackles and steals the ball and starts dribbling down the wing.

Liam and Niall and the rest of the boys run off chasing, but it isn’t quite quick enough and despite Liam’s best efforts and Josh taking a fantastic dive for the ball, it passes into the back of the net and Liam drop his head and the opposition cheers and that’s the beginning of the way the rest of the game is played.

Liam isn’t having a bad game, Niall isn’t doing anything wrong, Josh isn’t missing easy saves, but the rest of the team just doesn’t have the depth to keep up with their opposition.

The other school strategically keeps the ball away from the stars and unfortunately Liam can’t do everything at once and the ball is constantly turned over and by the time that it’s half time the scores are 2-0 and the game is over and Zayn’s fingers are frozen.

“Smoke?” Zayn asks Harry and they stand up and head behind the bleachers where Zayn tries to suck warmth out of the cigarette and into his body.

It definitely helps.

“Well this is shit,” Harry laughs and Zayn just nods. He’s worried because Liam will feel bad even if he says it’s only school football. He wants to say something to him now so he doesn’t spend the second half as angry and frustrated as he did in the first.

He stubs his cigarette out of the ground with the toe of his boot and tells Harry to entertain himself for a few minutes, “I’ll be back in a few. I’ll meet you back in the seats.”

Harry nods and runs off to find something to do – or someone, more likely.

Zayn thanks his lucky stars that Liam is standing outside the change rooms when he gets there, because he really hadn’t thought it through and he was probably just going to have to knock and walk in, which would be weird because nobody knows about him and Liam.

“Hey,” Liam looks up at Zayn’s voice, “I was just coming to find you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I was worried about you.”

Liam’s brown eyes shine, but his face also carries something of confusion.

“I thought you might be upset about the game,” Zayn explains, “You’re playing so well. Just those other dickheads that can’t receive a pass.”

Liam laughs and pushes himself away from the wall he was leaning against, “Yeah?”

“Yes, you idiot. And you know it too so stop fishing. I’m here to support you, not to inflate your ego.”

Zayn taps a finger against Liam’s forehead to tell him he’s getting a big head and Liam laughs again. It’s definitely one of Zayn’s favourite things in the world.

Even all dirty and sweaty, Liam still looks like the most beautiful thing when he smiles: all crinkled eyes and a big smile.

“I’ve always had a big head babe. I have to go back in now,” Liam looks slightly disappointed, “but kiss for good luck?”

Zayn nods and leans in, pressing a quick, but hard, kiss against Liam’s lips and he tastes like sweat and he smells like mud and sweat and still faintly of the cologne he always wears and Zayn loves it.

Liam doesn’t say a goodbye or a “see you after”, he just looks at Zayn for a moment with big eyes so full of a mixture of disbelief and adoration and Zayn feels a little dizzy when Liam walks away.

Zayn regains control of himself and makes his way back to the stands. He doesn’t say a word when he sits back down next to Harry and there’s a blonde girl from the other school sat next to him and Harry doesn’t introduce her either – he probably doesn’t even remember her name anyway.

They’re going to a big party after the game, the last of the year, so Zayn just assumes Harry’s recruiting girls to fuck later that night.

The second half of the game starts and their team is definitely doing better. They’re not turning the ball over as much and Liam even manages a miraculous goal. He weaves in and out of players like they’re training cones and his opposition seems to stunned to defend him and when they try, he just effortlessly flicks the ball over or around them and continues on his merry way to the net. His leg pulls back and he lunges into a massive kick twenty or so metres out from the goal.

The ball has the perfect amount of spin to trick the goalie and it slips past his fingers and into the net and Liam jumps into the air, pumping both fists and yelling out in celebration. Zayn can see the veins on his neck from where he’s sitting in the stands.

His teammates swarm around him to cheer with him and the crowd cheers and Liam looks so excited, so ready, so good, but unfortunately they are playing catch-up football and they run out of time.

They finish the game down 2-1, but Zayn’s sure that Liam will tell him later that he’s glad they kept them scoreless in the second half.

The rest of the team looks quite disappointed, but Liam, Niall and Josh clap each other on the back in the middle of the pitch and shrug at each other.

Zayn taps out a text to Liam telling him that he and Harry have to go pick up Louis and Eleanor and that they’ll meet them at the party.

They decided that it would be good for the two groups to try and hang out at the party tonight, because really the rivalry was pretty juvenile and although Liam still hated Louis, he is one of his boyfriend’s best friends and life would be a lot easier if they all got along or could at least be in the same room as each other.

Zayn, Harry and the nameless blonde girl walk across the pitch, through the fence and into the back streets.

The night is so very cold and Zayn is thankful that when they reach the main road, they only need to wait three minutes for the bus to arrive.

They spread themselves out across the back of the bus, each taking up a row of two or three seats.

The rest of the bus is empty and the only sounds are the road underneath the wheels and the rumbling of the engine.

The nameless blonde girl breaks the silence by tapping her number into Harry’s phone before excusing herself and getting off the bus, saying that she needs to get ready, but she’ll see them later.

“I’ll text you the address now,” Harry returns.

She gives him a wink and when she walks off the bus, her hips are swinging and she even flicks her hair when she gets out into the street.

“She’s trash,” Zayn comments nonchalantly.

“Yeah, isn’t it great?”

Harry’s lips tug into a little smirk, something Zayn obviously taught him.

“Have you thought about actually finding a nice girl and dating someone?”

Harry sighs and leans back against the glass of the window. His stupidly long legs dangle off the edge of the two seats he’s laying across and the toes of his boots are scraping the floor. He scratches under his chin while he furrows his eyebrows.

“I don’t think I’d want to date a girl?” The way he says it is like a question, but he’s not asking for an answer, he’s just not quite sure.

“Would you want to date a guy?” Zayn presses the button to let the bus driver know they want to get off at the next stop and he asks his question as if it isn’t a big deal at all.

Before he met Liam he would have been horrified to say anything at all about his or anybody else's sexuality, but every day he seems to be feeling more and more comfortable and confident with his own. Maybe it’s because Liam is so new to it all, but so happy and so protective and strong about it; it makes Zayn feel like maybe he can be that way too.

He’s also noticed that Harry has taken a particular interest in his and Liam’s relationship. He thought that Harry might have been thinking of settling down a little and finding a girl, but maybe his interest in their relationship runs deeper than that.

“I don’t know,” Harry shrugs, “maybe.”

The bus pulls up outside Harry’s street and they jump up, thanking the bus driver and stepping out onto the streetlight lit footpath.

“Wait, Haz, that’s huge,” Zayn resumes conversation, because that is not the kind of topic that gets dropped nonchalantly. “Are you attracted to any guys?”

Harry laughs.

“I’m attracted to anyone who is attractive, Zayn.” He says it like it’s so obvious and Zayn almost worries that Harry’s not looked into his sexuality before.

“Have you ever been with a guy?”

Green eyes look up towards the dark sky in thinking as they walk towards Harry’s place.

“No, I haven’t,” Harry hums almost to himself as if it’s something that he’d never thought of doing before but now can’t seem to work out why he hadn’t thought of something so obvious.

“Just stay away from Liam, okay?” Zayn claps him across the back and both boys laugh. Harry takes out his keys and lets them inside.

Harry’s house is pretty big considering his small family. He has an older sister, but she’s in rehab and Harry doesn’t ever want to talk about so Zayn doesn’t pry. His mother and his stepfather and he are the only people living in the home, which is probably twice as big as Zayn’s for half the amount of people.

He had explained to Zayn, the first time that he came over, that his stepfather Robin was quite successful and they’d been living in a shithole beforehand – just him, Gemma and their mum. They were in a shitty part of town and Gemma started hanging out with the wrong people and their mum lost her job and Harry started getting in trouble at school and Gemma started taking hard drugs and Harry got a reputation.

Zayn doesn’t remember the story he was told play by play, but it was the most that Harry’s ever opened up to him even though Louis told him that he doesn’t know the half of it - that Harry’s problems run deep and are years old and Zayn needs to accept that he’ll never know the whole story, that Louis’ the only one that knows close to all of it.

“Hello Zayn, darling,” Harry’s mother, Anne, greets them at the door. She’s just as beautiful as Harry is when she smiles, big lips and eyes, but soft. “Don’t you boys have that party tonight?”

“Yeah, just came home to get some drinks and weed,” Harry informs her as he trudges past her and up the stairs and Zayn sees the twinkle in her eyes falter ever so slightly, but she doesn’t say anything.

Zayn would never be able to be so open with his family as Harry and Louis are.

He follows Harry up the stairs with Anne meekly saying an “okay then, sweetie” after them.

When they get to Harry’s room, the throw open the windows and Zayn lights a cigarette while Harry cracks open a bottle of beer from the mini-fridge he has under the desk he never uses.

Zayn chain-smokes while Harry gets more than halfway through a six pack before Louis arrives.

It’s past ten before they finally leave the house, Harry drunk and Zayn and Louis high, and Zayn has two missed calls from Liam.

He picks up on the first ring and Zayn wonders if he’d been sitting by his phone at the party.

“Hey, are you almost here?” Liam’s slurred voice comes through the speaker.

“We’re just walking now babe, we’ll be there in five. You a‘right?”

“Just a bit drink.”

Zayn chuckles when Liam hiccups.

“I’ll see you soon,” he says into the receiver, hearing Niall’s booming laugh in the background of Liam’s goodbye.

 

 

 

The football bounces of the wall and smashes three plastic cups on to the floor and narrowly misses a big bowl of punch, but Liam just lifts his shirt over his head, running in circles in celebration.

“PAYNE SCORES!” He booms and everyone watching him laughs and cheers along.

Zayn sits on the arm of the couch, watching his boyfriend make a fool of himself. Liam had already had quite a bit to drink when he got there, more than Zayn’s smaller frame could cope with, and he had shown no signs of slowing down in the hour since Zayn arrived.

“Do you want a drink?” Liam splays his hands on Zayn’s knees and leans in to ask.

“No, I’m fine love,” Zayn is aware that everybody’s eyes are on them right now, but really who could blame them. Liam’s drunk and with Zayn, so everybody seems to be waiting to see some kind of proof that the rumours are true. “Do you want to go sit out back with Harry and Lou?”

Liam nods as he pulls Zayn up from the couch. Zayn doesn’t stumble to his feel at all – he hasn’t had too much to drink yet, he's mostly just high so his movements are just slowed.

They move their way through to ever-increasing crowd. There must be at least half of the year level crammed into the home and a remix of a recent chart topper shakes the house to its foundations.

When they get outside there seem to be just as many people crammed into the backyard, except that the music is muffled and replaced by chatter and the crackling of a drum-fire.

At the back of the garden, Zayn finds his friends and takes a spare seat that nobody else would have dared to take right in between Harry and Louis and the girls they're with. Eleanor's phone and gum have been replaced by a drink and a cigarette and the blonde girl Harry found is talking with her about clothes the two of them will probably never be able to afford.

Liam doesn't take a seat, instead he stumbles around the group and leans against the back of Zayn's chair, remaining standing.

Louis shifts in his seat and glares at Liam who is too drunk to focus on the people around him, instead looking off into nothing in the distance.

It isn't until Zayn gives Louis a nudge, that Harry decides to break the awkwardness.

"Shame you lost tonight, Liam," Harry offers politely.

"Yeah, but I was fantastic so," Liam retorts, taking longer than normal to focus on the boy speaking to him, "How lucky for you that you got to see suuuuuuuuch greatness."

Zayn rolls his eyes because Liam's words are so heavily slurred and Harry tells him to fuck off.

"Harry was just trying to be nice, you fucking twat," Louis defends, standing up from his seat to stand in front of Zayn and face Liam. "You don't have to be so fucking arrogant."

"Whatever. C'mon Zayn," Liam dismisses, looking down at his boyfriend and ignoring a very agitated Louis. "I'm finished talking with these assholes."

Zayn feels horrible stuck between a rock and a hard place and the air is suddenly full of tension that threatened to burst into chaos any second. He feels the need to choose his words and his actions very carefully.

"No that's okay Liam," Louis steps in before Zayn can decide, "You stay, I'm going."

Nobody says a word as Louis storms away, except Liam laughs and takes his seat pretending as if nothing happened at all.

"Can you grab me another drink babe?" Liam flutters his eyelashes at Zayn and with a resigned sigh he complies.

He takes his time getting Liam a drink - Liam doesn't really need the drink if he's honest. He could give him water in a glass and tell him it's vodka and he would probably be drunk enough to believe him.

He finds a can of coke and decides to give it to Liam and claim it's got a weak amount of something in it. His hand plunges into the ice-filled bucket to grab the can when Louis taps him on the shoulder.

"Are you shitting me?" Louis asks rhetorically.

Zayn stands there with wide eyes and water as cold as Louis' expression dripping from his hand and the drink clutched in it.

"Look Lou, I'm sorry. He's really drunk," Zayn justifies, "I'm getting him a soft drink and water. He's a bit of a twat when he's drinking to be honest."

Louis just scoffs, hinting that his friend is being stupidly ignorant or intentionally blind.

"A bit? When he's drinking?" Louis' incredulous cackle is half drowned out by a new track blaring through the speakers. To combat the noise, Louis leans in closer to Zayn so he can really hear him.

"He's always a twat, love. You'll see that soon."

Zayn barely moves an inch as Louis gives him a sassy little raise of his eyebrows as if to say "You know I'm right" and leaves.

Louis definitely had known Liam for longer than Zayn, but did he know him better? Was Liam the kind of person where you have to rub away the dirt to uncover the hidden gem, or was Louis right and was Liam playing him like a violin.

If Zayn really dug deep into his heart and his head he knew that it wasn't the latter, that Liam really did have genuine feelings for him, but there would always be that incessant babbling in the forefront of his mind that makes him doubt himself.

When he gets back to the chairs outside, he's not quite sure how long it's been since he blinked and he hands Liam the drink wordlessly. He doesn't answer him when Liam asks what alcohol is in it, if any, but eventually he gives up after asking three times and just drinks the coke anyway.

He thinks for a moment that Liam sees through his drunken haze when he looks right into Zayn's eyes. He feels like Liam is reading him like a book and can tell that he's crawling back into his shell and is on his hands and knees with a trowel, bricks and cement and building all of those walls right back up where he knocked them down.

Liam stares and stares for what feels like hours and Zayn feels exposed, but then Liam's eyes drop to his lips and a sly smile creeps onto his face and Zayn realises he was just eye fucking him.

He decides to turn his attention from people other than Liam, who is so very graciously accepting the compliments of five girls from their year who have flocked courageously to him, and focuses his energy on Harry and Eleanor who are sitting opposite him and downing shots.

"We should do body shots," Eleanor suggests and Harry's eyes light up.

Zayn wonders if he should stop the train wreck or just let it crash and burn before him - it's not like he owes Louis much at the moment anyway.

"CAN WE ZAYN?" Liam bellows beside him, clearly also tapping into Harry and Eleanor's conversation. "PLEASE."

Zayn laughs, because Liam has already stripped himself of his shirt, run off and is waddling back to the group holding a trestle table that  _was_ being used as a snacks table on the other side of the yard. The snacks were discarded on the ground and bowls lay upside down on the ground and pretzels scatter across the grass, but Liam doesn't seem to notice and nobody seems to care.

"Do I have a choice?" Zayn asks when Liam returns. The muscles of his arms are straining against the skin as he places the table down, his back broad and defined and when he turns to face his boyfriend and wipes a little bit of dirt of his sculpted stomach, Zayn answers his own question.

_No - no I don't._

And Liam just beams at him and melts away any self doubt he had had twenty seconds prior.

Harry has located a bottle of tequila and Eleanor and her friends have found salt, but no citrus fruit of any kind. Apparently they are going without.

"Us first," Liam proclaims as he grabs Zayn's hand and pulls him to a standing position, before pushing him backwards and forcing him to lay on the table.

A small crowd has gathered around their group to watch and Zayn flushes a little when Liam pulls his sweater and shirt off, but then he remembers that he has an image to uphold and plasters a smirk and a glow of confidence onto his face.

Liam pours a line of salt from the middle of Zayn's chest to his abdomen and pours the tequila into his navel.

Everyone is watching Liam, Zayn included as he has propped himself up on his elbows to get a better look, but then Liam climbs between his legs on the table and the masses of their classmates around them go eerily silent.

Zayn swallows something heavy in his throat and Liam winks up at him and attaches his mouth to Zayn's stomach, sucking the alcohol out of his belly button and immediately licking a stripe along the salt up his chest. Zayn falls back onto the table and his eyes close when Liam's mouth continues past the salt and attaches to his neck.

He assumes that everyone is still watching them, but right now he doesn't seem to care. He's not as drunk as Liam is, but he's buzzed enough to be slightly deprived of his inhibitions.

Liam bites and sucks what could only be a nasty red mark on the side of his neck then lifts himself to hover their faces just centimeters apart.

Out of the corner of his eye, Zayn sees Harry sucking tequila from Eleanor stomach with his hands on her breasts and okay, that probably shouldn't be happening.

But then Liam crushes his lips against Zayn's and rolls his body down so that he feels the full force of Liam on top of him and he forces his eyes closed and moans a shockingly slutty sound into his boyfriends' mouth.

He hopes to every and any God that their classmates didn't hear that, but with Liam's hands roaming up and down his frame and Zayn's nails scratching at his back and their mouths becoming more bruised every second, he also kind of hopes that every person in the world sees this and sees that this Adonis of a boy has chosen him.

Zayn doesn't remember any of the rest of the night except for Liam's body on his and Liam's low, husky, still-slurred and absolutely wrecked voice telling him that they're leaving to go back to his place. 

Unfortunately, the next day of school completely shatters and pops the cloud he's floating on.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I have to put a warning for side-plot focus or?

Despite a headache and a general tiredness, Liam found it incredibly easy to get out of his bed when his alarm started blaring at 6:00am.

It probably helped that he woke up smiling into the hair of the boy that had huddled himself against his chest in the middle of the night and it definitely helped when snippets of the previous night came back to him - taking shots off Zayn's body in front of a large crowd, Zayn's lips on his, stopping to suck bruises on Zayn's neck on the walk home and finally making it back to his bed to have Zayn crawl on top of him and take his cock in his mouth.

Liam felt certain that he was going to have a good day the second his eyelids fluttered open.

He knew it was too early for Zayn to wake up - of course the alarm hadn't awoken Zayn, because that boy could and would sleep through anything - and that he'd probably be verbally abused if he woke him up before eight, so he softly untangled himself and slipped out from under the sheets that had absorbed their body heat overnight.

He grabbed a hoodie that was thrown over the chair at his desk, pulled a pair of football shorts over his briefs, slipped on his runners and was out the door without disturbing Zayn in under two minutes.

The cold air hit him hard when he stepped outside, quickly stretching before pressing play on his iPod and setting off down the street.

Liam loved running early in the morning when the sun was just starting to peak above the horizon and ever so lightly dust the silent streets with light.

Liam loved that while everybody else in the houses he passed was laying in bed achieving nothing at all, he was out pushing his body and bettering himself; working harder to make something of himself.

He would run up to fifteen kilometres on the weekend if time permits, but before school he really only has time for a half hour run - but it's better than nothing.

It is barely five minutes into his run when the burning in his chest begins to subside and his breathing slows back to almost normal and he puts his trust in his legs to keep moving on their own accord and move his mind to other things.

Other things like the pile of scholarship applications sitting on his desk in his room, the boy still sound asleep in his bed and upcoming exams and the end of high school.

He is silently worried about finishing high school, not that he would ever admit it to anyone, but he's always done so well at high school. He's popular, equally admired and feared, he has friends, he has a future... but what if that's not the way it is in the real world?

_As long as I can get into a good university team, none of that will matter,_ Liam shakes aside his fears.

The scholarships he's applying for would be a bonus, but aren't necessary. He just needs to get into a good school team, then get into an academy and then hopefully the rest is history and he rises through the ranks. He dreams of starting his career at Wolverhampton and the idea of playing for the team he grew up supporting and watching on weekends with his Dad gives him all the motivation he needs to dig deep and sprint the last hundred metres of his run.

He slumps at his front door, hands on his knees and chest heaving to bring in oxygen.

When the door opens he barely hears it over the blood in his ears and his panting, but he sees a pair of black boots and looks up to see Zayn completely dressed with an unlit cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

"Where are you going?" Liam asks, standing up to face his boyfriend. He wipes the sweat off his brow with the sleeve of his hoodie and watches Zayn bite back telling him he's completely mad for being this awake at this _unholy fucking hour_ , but other things seem to be on his mind and it manifests as uncertainty in his still-waking eyes.

"I woke up to a few hundred texts from Louis, so I'm going to meet him for coffee before school," Zayn scratches the back of his neck and steps around Liam, "I, you weren't there when I woke up so I figured I'd just see you at school yeah?"

Zayn mumbles his last few words and barely looks up, so Liam grabs his arm as he's walking away.

"Are we okay? Is everything okay?" Liam asks him worriedly.

Zayn just nods, eyes still showing his true feelings as he unconfidently murmurs , "I think so."

Without even blinking, Liam watches the other boy walk off down the street followed by a cloud of a mix of smoke and his breath in the cold air.

 

 

 

Zayn arrives at the cafe and sits alone with the steam from his black coffee rising into to cool air in front of him and a sickly feeling of deja vu. His first and only thought is that Louis heard about Liam and his overt displays of affection, or maybe it was more of lust, but either way he does not think that Louis would be all too thrilled with it.

"Louis, look, I'm really sorry," Zayn starts, almost tripping over his words when Louis sits opposite him.

"It's okay, it's not your fault," Louis doesn't even look up at him, his blue eyes watching the ground and his own shoes and nothing at all.

"Liam was drunk..." Zayn begs and defends, "It's not his fault either though."

Louis' eyebrows crease in confusion, he quickly mumbles his order of tea to the waitress standing beside their table, asking her if they can have their drinks to go.

"Do you mind?" Louis asks, "I want to walk and talk."

Zayn doesn't argue, simply nods at his friend, so Louis continues, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

He looks just as confused as Zayn feels so Zayn starts to panic now, not sure if he has put his foot in his mouth and told Louis about something Louis didn't even know or care about.

He settles for slight ambiguity, "Ah, you know, the body shots?"

Conversation pauses when two take away cups are placed in front of them and both boys pick up their things and go.

When Zayn stands up next to and close to his friend, he really notices the bags under Louis' eyes, the lack of emotion on his lips and the greasy shine to his hair that indicates he hasn't showered. He doesn't look like he slept either - he looks like shit, really.

They walk out onto the main road are a few minutes towards their school before they pick up where they left off, Louis breaking the silence that Zayn didn't feel like he should touch.

"Well, I'm here about the body shots too, but I don't see what you and Liam have to do with it, Z?" Louis eyes him carefully, "I just wanted a friend to talk to, some advice even, but how about you fill me in on your run of events last night and then I'll fill you in on what the grapevine has told me."

Zayn scratches the back of his neck and his coffee scalds the back of his throat.

"Okay, well I'll start from after you left," Zayn says, sees Louis nods in agreement beside him, "Basically Liam was pretty wasted and someone suggested body shots... I think it might have even been Harry and El-"

Louis twitches ever so slightly at the mention of and Zayn notes that as interesting, "And then Liam suggested that he and I go first, so we did and Liam did shots off me and then we were snogging on the table and it got a bit heated so we left."

A moment passes, a few heavy thuds from Zayn's heart when Louis doesn't take his eyes off the footpath passing beneath them. Louis eventually lets out breath he was holding and straightens the denim jacket he wears over his school shirt.

"Do you have a smoke?" Louis looks terribly nervous and unsettled, so Zayn reaches into his pocket and gets one for each of them.

"Thanks," Louis reaches out for cigarette, still not breaking eye contact with the pavement, and takes his own lighter out of his back pocket.

Zayn nods, "Of course."

A flick of a flame, a deep inhale and Louis is breathing out smoke and visibly relaxing.

"Seriously, what is wrong?" Zayn prods, the other boy just pursing his lips and nodding.

"Harry fucked Eleanor last night."

Now, chocking on stupidly hot coffee was not how Zayn wanted to start his day, but beggars can't be choosers.

"It's okay," Louis waves his hand dismissively while Zayn coughs, "I left Eleanor a message and told her to never fucking talk to me again. Harry on the other hand, I don't know."

Zayn stops in his tracks, grabbing Louis around his bicep and pulling him to a halt just outside the gate to their school, "Lou, c'mon."

Louis doesn't turn to face him, just takes another drag and tries to shimmy out of Zayn's grip.

"What do you expect me to do? Eleanor is a slag, I've known that for ages," he spits out, "I never really cared for her all that much to be honest, she was just, I don't know...  _there_. The thing that really cuts me deep about this is that Harry would do this to me."

Lost for words is how Zayn feels; he doesn't know what to say. He's not sure who he is meant to side with in this situation, he's not sure how he feels about it, he can't for the life of him work out why Harry would do that to him when he could have anyone else.

"What are you going to say to him?" he decides on.

Louis drops the rest of his cigarette to the ground and stubs it out with the toe of his vans, "We're about to find out."

He slips in between the gates to the school and Zayn throws his own cigarette to the ground and follows his mate to where Harry is approaching them.

"Harold Styles," Louis spits, pressing two palms to Harry's chest and sending him stumbling back a couple of steps, "You little fucking slut."

Harry looks horribly offended, which is, yeah, probably fair enough. Anyone and everyone withing earshot of the three boys is now visibly and unsubtly straining to hear why Louis Tomlinson is calling his supposed best friend a slut in a tone that is clearly not light-hearted or joking.

"She wasn't the only one, I'm sorry, but I got drunk and I got with a few people. It was a big night, I'm trying to sort out who I am and I'm sorry," Harry genuinely looks sorry and is clearly trying to keep his voice down so others don't hear.

Though Louis doesn't seem to notice or care for Harry's sincerity, scoffing and rolling his eyes. "Trying to sort out who you are? You're a fucking twat, that's who you are. Who else did you fuck while trying to work that out?"

Zayn catches Harry's eyes for just a second and he sees genuine fear in them and something else he can't quite put his finger on, like there's more to the story, but he doesn't feel like it would be his place to intervene.

Just as Harry's about to open his mouth, hands wrap across Zayn's eyes and he loses the ability to see, only feeling lips on his neck.

He turns to face Liam with wide eyes and a facial expression that he hopes reads as _"now is not a good time"._ Liam seems to understand and slaps his mouth shut, allowing Zayn to refocus on the argument.

"Can we... can we talk about this privately?" Harry begs, wary eyes on Liam and Zayn. His bottom lip that is usually seductively caught between his teeth or curved into a pillowy smile is almost shaking.

The bell rings loud and cuts off whatever Louis was about to bark back and breaks the tension only ever so slightly. Louis obeys class times for the first time in three years and tells Harry that their conversation isn't over before storming off.

"Harry," Zayn calls out when Harry turns away as well.

"Sorry Zayn, I can't talk about it right now. I have to talk to Louis first," he shoots Zayn and Liam an apologetic glance and saunters off, shoulders hunched and head hung low.

Liam tries to find out what is going on, but Zayn really doesn't have an answer and all he can really focus on is being torn between which of his best mates he is more worried about.

"Sorry Li, I have a class with Harry now. I don't know if he'll tell me anything, but I'll fill you in at lunch," he seals his promise with a quick kiss to Liam's cheek and runs off to his locker.

By the time Zayn gets to class he knows he's ten minutes late and he really didn't need his teacher to remind him, but he rattles off some excuse about the bus being late and scans the room for a curly-haired mop of sadness only to find Harry's usual chair empty.

_Great._

He drops his books on his desk and they make a loud thud that he feels matches his current frustration. 

The class continues from where Zayn clearly interrupted, but he doesn't bother to find his place. He pulls his phone from out of his bag and discreetly taps out a message to Harry under the table.

**are you okay??? Do you want to talk about it??**

But Harry never replies, despite how many times Zayn checks his phone during the class.

He can't really put his finger on what it is that Louis' really upset about, because he clearly stated that he wasn't all that interested in Eleanor anyway. This fight definitely had something to do with Louis and Harry and Eleanor was just the spark that ignited it.

He does not stop digging through his brain for anything that could be the cause, trying to piece together anything either one of them had said, or what had happened last night.

It's not until the third time he runs through what he remembers of the party until a light flickers in his head.

He remembers before they even got to the party, when he was talking to Harry about sexuality. He makes an association between Harry saying he would think about hooking up with a guy, Harry saying he hooked up with a few people and Harry telling Louis he was "trying to work out who he is".

It seems to fit: the light flickers, glows ever stronger as he puts it together, but he's immersed in metaphorical darkness again when he realises that his theory doesn't explain Louis' reaction at all.

When he wanders out of English with Liam, who he's barely said a word to, he feels just as lost as he was in the morning.

That is until he makes his way to the tree they always sit under and Harry and Louis are having a full blown argument - well, Louis is yelling, Harry looks like he's about to cry.

"They look like an old married couple fighting," Niall laughs from behind him and, honestly, Zayn really didn't even notice he was there, still making a beeline towards his friends.

Louis shoves Harry again like he did earlier in the morning and suddenly Zayn is running.

"What the fuck has that got to do with anything?" Zayn hears Louis hiss as he approaches.

"I don't know Lou, I'm confused, I'm scared okay? But I do care about you," Harry is full-blown trembling. Zayn has never seen him like this. His arrogance, his confidence, the way that words usually roll off his tongue and melt people's hearts, the way he usually bats his eyelashes or licks his lips - it's all gone. Someone stole Harry and replaced him with this boy who looks freakishly like him, Zayn is sure of it.

Neither one of Harry or Louis acknowledge the fact that Zayn, Liam, Niall and Josh are now standing and listening. Josh and Niall stood further behind, Liam standing protectively next to his boyfriend who watches every expression on the two boys' faces very carefully and quietly.

"You care about me so you fucked a whole bunch of girls including my girlfriend last night?" Louis all but laughs, but nothing is funny, "Harry that makes no sense. Unless of course you have something else you want to tell me?"

Green eyes shoot up from where they were watching the grass and meet blue and they are full of fear and knowing.

"You... you know?" he struggles to make his voice higher than a whisper.

Zayn feels like he knows, but he doesn't know and he just wishes they would spit it out.

"I want to hear you say it."

Louis crosses his arms and waits. He looks like a boy made from fire, he exudes anger, he stands firm and furious, while Harry looks like he is about the crack, breakdown, run away. Zayn can read it from a mile away, anybody could.

"Louis, maybe he doesn't-" Zayn begins, but Louis shoots daggers at him, leaving the rest of Zayn's sentence caught in his throat.

"This is not your place, Zayn," Louis barks, "Harry?"

The air is thick with static keeping everyone still, but Zayn can feel that Liam is ready to pounce beside him, ready to jump in front of him and fight for him in case the tension bursts.

Harry taking in a shuddery breath is the only sound, "I slept with a guy last night."

A gust of wind rustles the leaves in the tree above them, a group of girls sitting behind them scream and giggle at something one of them said and Harry doesn't move. A flocks of birds squawk out to each other, none of them blink and Louis leaves. Harry hangs his head with tears in his eyes, Zayn moves to run after Louis, but Liam grabs his hand.

Nobody says a word, nobody acknowledges anything happening around them. Everybody watches Louis leave, then watches Harry leave.

"Are they...?" Niall asks, but nobody can reply, because nobody knows. 

Zayn tries to convince Liam to tell him go after them, but it's a wasted effort. Liam is strong enough to keep Zayn by his side with a firm grip on his hand and softly spoken words that convince him to stay, convince him that this is their issue to sort out.

The rest of the lunch is quiet. Josh and Niall eventually get up to join in with a few boys kicking a footie around, while Zayn stays sitting silently with Liam.

He was right about Harry, he was right about the argument, he's not sure if Louis is afraid of his own feelings or disgusted at Harry, he wants to sit with Harry and talk it through, because he knows how hard it is to come out. Zayn knows without speaking a word that Liam empathizes with Harry too, but Liam is more worried about the knot between his boyfriend's eyebrows and way his fists keep clenching and that his gentle words and touches do very little to ease Zayn's stress. Stress that turns out to be justified when nobody sees Louis for the rest of the week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IamsosorrythatthischapterfocusesonHarryandLouisIcan'thelpmyself.
> 
> If everything goes to plan, I only have four or five more chapters left of this story so the end is near, but trust me there's still many ZaynandLiam things to happen.
> 
>  
> 
> Always love feedback, always love to hear what you guys think ♡


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pals, only about 4 chapters left if everything goes to plan. Enjoy and as always, I welcome your feedback/responses with open arms!!! x

Liam worries about Zayn.

He worries about how much Zayn is worrying, because it's been a week since Harry and Louis had their big fight and Harry hasn't said a word to him (or any of them for that matter) and Louis is yet to be seen. Liam reassures him that the two of them will work it out in due time, whatever it is that's going on between them and, although he still doesn't much care for either Harry or Louis, Harry sits quietly with Zayn and watches them kick the football around at lunch and sometimes he offers a small smile at their banter. Liam doesn't mind because Zayn takes a breath when Harry smiles so he will do what it takes to keep the both of them happy.

Liam worries that when it's just the two of them sitting on Liam's bed or sitting in English class or walking from school, that Zayn just hums noncommittally whenever he mentions that their university choices are due at the end of the week.

He feels like Zayn is constantly avoiding the subject and he's not sure if it's because he is distracted by all the drama or keeping something away from him, but either way he really should be focusing on his submissions because it's incredibly important.

When Friday finally comes around and they spend the last period of the day filling in their university applications online, Liam is borderline bubbling.

He has been waiting years for the day where he finally gets to apply for football scholarships.

He ticks the little scholarship application boxes for all the universities he puts as his preferences and uploads his application essay that he has spent every night of the past week working on - well, except for Tuesday night when Zayn had other ideas and Liam's laptop was discarded on the floor.

When he leaves the classroom and meets up with Niall and Josh at the gates, they all chatter excitedly about what schools they chose and what they hope they get, even though they already know who wants to go where, but when Zayn and Harry meet up with them the vibe dies a little bit.

Harry speaks for the first time in what feels like months and says he applied for a few music courses and a few creative writing courses and that all of the universities he chose are far away from here, most of them London.

Nobody questions why he wants to get so far away and nobody says a word about the way his face falls when they spot Louis leaving his class not in school uniform, clearly only having come in to put down his choices. Louis sees them, but doesn't come over.

If it wasn't built on sad pretences, their group would almost be funny. No way in a million years did Liam ever think that Harry Styles would be silently tagging along with him and his friends and his boyfriend. At least Louis is still a prick - there's such a thing as too much change too quickly, Liam believes.

Harry crawls back into his newly found shell, so Niall changes the subject.

"Zayn, what about you mate?" he asks enthusiastically.

But of course Zayn just shrugs the same way that has been driving Liam crazy all week, "It's not important."

Niall opens his mouth to argue, but Liam shoots him a look to tell him to keep his fucking foot out of his mouth for once and he seems to get the message.

It isn't until Zayn and he are sitting on Liam's bed that he finally cracks.

"Zayn, why don't you want to talk about university choices?" he asks, voice cautious like he's approaching a scared animal, "We've spoken about it before. I know you want to do art or creative writing and I know you said you wanted to get away like Harry is. And if there's something that I don't know, then I want to know and I want you to trust me to tell me."

Zayn keeps shading in a graphite drawing he's been working on for his final art folio.

"Zayn?"

He finally looks up at Liam, face showing clear frustration, "Can't you just drop it?"

"No," Liam laughs, "I really can't. This is ridiculous Zayn. Please tell me what's wrong."

Zayn places his pencil down on the bed and sits up so he is facing Liam.

"We didn't make any of the same university choices," Zayn confesses.

It's exactly what Liam thought it was about, that they wouldn't be going to the same school next year. He had his suspicions that that was the reason Zayn had been pushing away from him, but it was nice to have it confirmed. Though it wasn't nice, because it meant that they weren't going to the same school next year.

"Do you have any close to my preferences?" Liam figures that as long as they're within an hour of one another maybe they can meet in the middle. Maybe they can live in the middle, whether it's together in the same apartment or around the corner from each other. He doesn't want to get his hopes up though.

"No, nothing even close," Zayn sighs, closing his eyes, "I looked into a few courses at your universities and I found a couple I liked, but...."

"But what?" Liam asks for further explanation, not quite understanding why Zayn didn't at least put one of these preferences down.

He doesn't know what kind of response he was expecting, but when Zayn jumps to his feet, packs up art and pulls on his shoes, Liam sits in stunned silence.

"Because Liam," Zayn's tone is one of downright annoyance and Liam detects a whole lot of hurt as well, "you never asked me."

"What?"

Liam goes to get to his feet, but Zayn takes another step back towards the door.

"I was waiting all week for you to ask me to come with you, but you never asked, so I just figured that you didn't want me to come with you," Zayn has tears in his voice. Liam goes to speak, but Zayn talks over him, "You know, maybe if we're moving around next year then we shouldn't bother anymore."

Liam tries to make eye contact, tries to go after Zayn, but he's gone before he can make a move. He listens to his mum ask Zayn if he's staying for dinner, hears Zayn tell her he's going home and feels the front door slam.

He lies back on his bed and tries to work out what the hell just happened and how the fuck he can fix this.

 

 

When he gets to school on Monday after a whole weekend of having his calls and texts ignored, he realizes that there is no easy way to fix it. He feels so horribly frustrated, because how was he supposed to know Zayn needed his permission to apply for the same school? He feels like Zayn is irrationally pushing him away, like he's scared of their future so he's pushing Liam away before Liam pushes him away.

It's awkward recess and lunch, when Liam and the boys head out to the pitch to have a kick and Zayn and Harry walk straight past them to go and sit under the tree by themselves. Liam distracts himself from the ripping in his chest by bragging about this awesome goal he kicked on the weekend in their rep game.

Everyone around him listens to his commentary and watches his re-enactment and Niall and Josh pipe in with their recount of it and Liam feels like he used to before Zayn came along. He is the centre of attention, adored and admired and listened to and he watches the way that his peers respond to everything he says and does like puppets on a string, but it doesn't excite him or make him feel the way it used to.

Sure, he still craves the power and he still likes the attention, but he doesn't like being who he was before Zayn - he doesn't like not having Zayn by his side.

He looks over to the tree, hoping to catch his boyfriend (Liam wonders in his dark moments over the weekend if he can even call Zayn his boyfriend anymore) watching him, but instead Zayn keeps on chatting away with Harry, picking at blades of grass that were happily growing until Zayn ripped them apart.

Liam wonders when he got to the point of finding common ground with grass.

Zayn still doesn't even look at him when the bell rings out and they walk only ten metres away from one another on the way to their lockers and then to English class - the only class they share and Liam's worry starts boils over, his hope starts to run out.

He breathes a heavy and obvious - though he can't bring himself to care - sigh of relief when he walks into the classroom to find Zayn in his usual seat: the one next to Liam's usual seat.

He counts to ten as he walks over to take his place next to the boy that is currently causing his palms to sweat and his stomach to churn. It's been a long time since he was nervous around Zayn, because they'd fallen into such a comfortable existence and once again Liam finds himself cursing the situation they're now in.

Time to do something about it, he decides.

"How long are you going to ignore me for?" Liam murmurs to Zayn, loud enough for only him to hear.

Zayn's gaze doesn't leave whatever it is directly in front of him that he is focused on, most likely nothing in particular.

"I miss you so much Zayn," he begs, still quiet, "Please. Surely you miss me too. I know you do."

Liam's not sure if he's reassuring himself or Zayn, but he leans a hand under the table to rest on Zayn's thigh.

"Please," he breathes out what feels like his last ounce of strength and pride.

Zayn doesn't move, so Liam doesn't either.

They spend the next twenty minutes of class focusing on their work in silence, but Liam's hand never leaves Zayn's thigh.

Their teacher starts talking them through what to expect with the essay questions on their final exam and Liam feels like they really should be listening, but he feels like his hand is on fire where it's touching Zayn and Zayn seems to get more and more fidgety the more time that passes.

Liam squeezes his hand gently then slides it so his hand is on the inside of Zayn's leg, high enough to make Zayn have to cough loudly to cover up the small squeak he makes.

"I really do miss you babe," Liam whispers almost inaudibly at Zayn and lifts his thumb to ever so gently brush against Zayn's crotch.

Liam is shocked half to death when Zayn pushes his chair back and asks his teacher very abruptly if he can go to the sickbay.

"I feel really dizzy all of a sudden," he explains, then looks down at Liam with pleading eyes.

"Uhm, I'll take him, in case he passes out," Liam adds and their teacher seems to buy it, probably putting it down to nerves about finals or stress.

Liam collects both of their things and rubs Zayn's back as they walk out of the classroom, asking him if he's okay and playing the part of a concerned friend.

It's a shit display of faking sick by both of them, but fuck the rest of their classmates and the looks they give the two of them on the way out, honestly, Liam is beyond caring. Especially after the body shots incident, everybody pretty much got confirmation that they're either together or fucking.

The only thing that really matters to Liam is the way that Zayn drags him into the nearest toilet block, shoves him into a cubicle and locks the door behind them.

When Zayn turns around from the door to face him, Liam can't hear anything except his own breath and can't see anything but the way that Zayn's eyes seem to drink him in, "I've missed you too," Zayn finally says and Liam lurches forward to press their lips together.

Maybe he's a little too keen and pushes Zayn hard up against the cubicle door and it makes a loud shuddering sound, but again, the only thing that matters is that Zayn is in his arms again.

Their lips slide together with the same passion and want and _need_ that was there before their fight, maybe even more now. Liam slides his tongue along Zayn's bottom lip while his fingers probably leave bruises on Zayn's hips. Liam pulls Zayn closer in and pushes their hips and crotches together and Zayn bites down hard enough to draw blood and both of them are hard.

"Do you want to?" Zayn's breath is laboured, "In a cubicle at school?"

And _yeah, of course I do,_ Liam thinks, but okay maybe it's not the best idea to have sex in the bathroom. As a compromise, Liam slides down Zayn's body until he's on his knees in front of him. Zayn throws his head back just at the sight of Liam dropping to his knees and his head hits the door behind him.

"Fuck, Zayn," Liam says as he undoes Zayn's school belt and yanks his trousers and boxers down in one motion, springing his cock free, "fuck, I've missed your taste."

He licks a stripe on the underside of Zayn's length before take the head in his mouth. He swirls his tongue and savours the bitter and familiar taste of Zayn on his tongue before he slides his lips all the way down until his mouth reaches his fingers that are holding Zayn's cock steady.

He flattens his tongue and bobs his mouth up and down, evoking a continuous string of _fuck, fuck fuck, Liam, fuck, fuck Liam, Liam_ from Zayn's lips and causing the death grip Zayn has on Liam's hair to tighten to the point of producing tears in Liam's eyes. But there's no way Liam's stopping him.

He moves one hand to stroke himself and the sight of that combined with Zayn hitting the back of Liam's throat causes Zayn to choke out a long, low moan and come into Liam's willing mouth.

Liam eagerly swallows before focusing on getting himself off. He continues to pump his fist, feeling himself get closer and closer.

"C'mon baby, come for me," Zayn whispers into the top of Liam's head and his voice sounds wrecked, absolutely fucked and so, so low and that's all it takes to push Liam over the edge.

He spills over his fist, while Zayn holds his head in his hands and presses light kisses all over his face.

Once he catches his breath again and feels like his legs won't fail him (he did have football training and a run this morning too), he stands up and ever so softly presses his lips against Zayn's.

Their lips move slowly against the others' while they both come down. Liam feels the relief flood over him that he has Zayn back, that he can kiss him like this again, that he can have him in his arms like this again. The relief is so overwhelming that he can't help but smile, it breaks the kiss, but it's worth it when he opens his eyes to see the way that Zayn is looking at him.

"I'm sorry for being a bitch," Zayn admits and Liam chuckles.

"I'm sorry for being ignorant," Liam concedes, "but let's get us cleaned up first yeah? We'll talk at home."

Liam grabs tissue to clean himself up before flushing it, while Zayn straightens up his uniform.

"You will come over after school yeah?" Liam worries his bottom lip, then cracks a mischievous smile, "I mean, I don't really care, but mum misses cooking for you so..."

Zayn playfully shoves him backwards, "Oh shut up you dickhead. And of course I will."

He presses another quick kiss to Liam's forehead before turning to unlock the door and stepping out into the bathroom that is, thankfully and luckily, still unoccupied.

Liam can't keep the smile off his face for the rest of the day.

Even when Zayn meets him at the gate after school, he's still smiling. He must look like a lovesick fool the way he watches Zayn smoking and talking on their walk home and he can't help himself but pull Zayn straight upstairs and into his bedroom when they finally make it back to Liam's house.

 

When Liam turned 15, his parents let him put a lock on his bedroom door.

It’s times like these – Zayn had put a pair of Liam’s sweatpants on and was sitting cross-legged on the bed, while Liam hadn’t bothered to put any clothes on and sat naked under the sheets with a textbook on his lap – that Liam was thankful for the privacy.

Zayn is scribbling notes in his art portfolio, adding captions to his drawings, occasionally swapping pen for pencil and shading in that looked finished and perfect in Liam’s opinion, but _isn’t good enough yet.  
_

His hair is still in disarray from earlier and his bottom lip is near-constantly caught between his teeth in concentration and it makes it very hard for Liam to study.

"Can you stop that?"

Zayn looks up and his eyebrows shoot towards his hair line, "Stop what?"

"I'm trying to study and you're looking very well-fucked and sexy and it's incredibly distracting."

Liam motions to his books and maintains a straight face, while Zayn just laughs softly at him incredulously.

"Well, you have your own damn mouth to blame for that," Zayn says playfully, "What are you studying for anyway?"

With a huff, Liam lifts up the cover of his textbook to show him, "Geography. The only subject I'm actually genuinely shit at and Josh is in my class, but he doesn't pay attention to anything because he sits with Laura and Cassie and talks shit and I'm so fucked for this exam."

Zayn uncrosses his legs and places his notebook and pens on the sheets beside him before crawling to staddle Liam's hips, but before Liam can quirk an eyebrow or kiss him, he is leaning down to nuzzle into Liam's chest, his head tucked under Liam's chin.

"Just relax, babe," Zayn purrs into Liam's neck and places a soft kiss, before lying his head back down and wrapping his arms around Liam's broad shoulders.

If people could spontaneously melt, Liam would be a puddle right now, because he takes a deep breath and then let's it all go - all the stress, gone for a moment.

Neither of them speak or move for at least half an hour, Zayn's breaths slowing down and Liam cards his hands languidly through Zayn's hair and closes his eyes.

"You still awake?" Liam barely whispers, but Zayn nods and stirs a little, "You make me so happy, Zayn. I'm so sorry that I was a twat the past week and right now I could pinch myself at how lucky I am to have you."

Zayn gives him a squeeze, "Me too. Look, I should be the one apologising. I didn't tell you how I felt about the university thing and now I just feel like a massive idiot, because I was stubborn and scared and now our choices are in and we're not going to the same school or even schools that are close to each other."

"I'm sure we'll work something out," Liam soothes, lightly trailing his fingertips up and down and up and down Zayn's spine.

"I hope we can. I just - I'm so scared for the future, Li. I mean, you have all these plans and you know exactly what you want to do and you know that you're good at it and I just don't have that. I love writing and drawing, but I'm not good enough to make a career of it and I don't know what the future holds for me and it's really freaking me out at the moment.

And with all of that going through my head, I just got paranoid and assumed that I wasn't part of your plans and you were the only part of my plans and I just don't want to lose you, because you're the only positive thing that's happened in my life and I kind of need you to keep me sane."

If Liam feels wetness on his chest he doesn't say anything about it, he just pulls Zayn closer and presses a continuous string of kisses into his hair.

"I'm not going to say I'm not going anywhere, because we are moving around next year and things will be different and maybe even difficult, but hey," he lifts Zayn's head so he looks right into his eyes, "You're not losing me. I won't allow it."

Liam watches Zayn's eyes search his own for any hint of fraudulence or uncertainty, but he is confident that he would be seeing nothing but honestly and maybe even a little bit of love and sparkle.

In that moment, Zayn's lips part and he takes a breath as if he's about to say something and Liam's heart stops because he wants him to say it, he wants to hear, he almost wants to say it himself, but then Zayn bites his lip and swallows those special, heavy words and pushes himself up and slides back over to his books.

"Let's keep studying yeah?" Zayn suggests.

Liam stutters a little, still caught up in what he thinks his boyfriend almost said, "Yeah, I, yeah. Exams next week."

He is offered a small smile and Zayn goes back to drawing.

"Zayn?"

The boy lowers his pen and looks up again, smile still lingering, "Yes darling?"

"Thank you. For opening up to me like that."

Zayn's _you're welcome_ comes in the form of lacing his spare left hand in Liam's and spending the next two hours rubbing circles on the back of his hand while Liam becomes absorbed in his textbooks again.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any mistakes... I'm currently traveling through Europe and wrote this on a plane to the Greek Islands and haven't had the time to scour for errors, just a brief proof-read! All the love. x

Exams pass in a blur of double shot coffees (which Liam usually avoids, but he just really needed the wake up), sleepless nights, a whole bunch of stress, spending his time with Zayn studying books instead of his body and trying to balance getting exceptional grades and keeping up his training regime.

English is everybody's last exam, no matter what stream of it they are taking and because Liam and Zayn are in the same class, they sit the same exam time in the same hall and breath the same sigh of relief when they walk out into freedom after a daunting and tiring three hours.

"Which essay topic did you write about?" Liam asks Zayn while they walk to the football pitch to meet Niall and Josh.

"The one about how greed is the most prevalent of the seven deadly sins in modern society. I think my short story was really good as well - it was about a nihilist female character that falls in love with the world while traveling and falls in love with a man and has to make a whole lot of choices. It sounds shitty, but I really liked it."

Liam shakes his head laughing, "I highly doubt it was shitty. Sounds like you did really well... I did the same essay topic actually, but disagreed and said it was envy and wrote about how everyone is trying to be someone else and we've lost sight of ourselves and et cetera, but basically I'm just so fucking glad that it's all over."

Zayn snakes an arm around Liam's waist and grins up at him, "We finished high school."

 

 

 

Liam and the school team decided that as the social foundation of their year level, it was their born duty to throw the exam after party.

There was a hall just on the outskirts of the town that was owned by a middle aged man who didn't really seem to care about anything they did or drank or smoked or whatever, as long as they paid to hire the venue and cleaned it up afterwards, it was theirs to do as they pleased no questions asked.

The week before exams, some of the boys had made a flyer and stuck it around the school asking everyone to donate five or ten quid and they had ended up rallying enough funds to hire the hall, pay someone's older brother to DJ and put together a respectable amount of alcohol.

Decorations were not deemed important and Niall had a grand chuckle when he walked in and the only festivity was a hand painted banner above the door that said "CONGRATS! HOPE YOU PASSED".

It was a very casual affair, the big double-doors at the back of the hall had been opened and there was a reasonably lit garden out the back featuring a large fire pit. The back walls were stacked with slabs of beer and lined with bottles of vodka and tequila.

They were the first ones there - Liam, Niall, Josh and another guy from their team, Sandy, who tagged along with them every now and then - so they each grabbed a beer and slowly but surely people started filing in and making conversation and then the music was booming.

It only took less than an hour before the four of them turned into almost the whole year level, all excited and giddy and it was going to be a _huge_ night.

Liam is already onto his third drink when Zayn arrives, but he's a big lad and three drinks barely makes him wobble. Zayn, however, is drunk as a skunk when he arrives with his arm around a very high Louis for support.

"So what's going on with Louis? You came with him?" Liam asks when they are just the two of them.

"Yeah, he's going to talk to Haz tonight. I uhm, wow, yeah he's great, I love like - yeah," Zayn staggers to the side slightly losing his balance, but Liam's steady hand on his hip is enough to keep him still, "I need another drink. Let's do body shots again!"

Liam laughs, "Maybe not shots, babe. You can have a light beer."

"What're you the fucking drink police?" Zayn steps back, stumbling slightly with eyes not really focusing anywhere, "I'm gonna find Niall - he'll do shots with me."

And then Zayn is off. Liam sighs and shadows him, weaving in and out of the crowds with him until they locate the Irishman who, not surprisingly, is more than pleased to do shots with Zayn.

The two of them have their arms around one another's shoulders and are throwing back their third shot of vodka when Liam decides being annoyed is futile and he might as well enjoy himself.

He requests to be included in the next round of shots and within a minute he is handed a little pink plastic shot glass and knocks it back, gagging only slightly when the harsh liquid burns his throat.

Liam hasn't been a fan of vodka since he went through a bit of a heavy partying stage when he was about fifteen. He drank a lifetime's supply of vodka that year and threw up way too many times for the sickly liquor to ever sit right with him again.

But it's a big party and who the hell is he to deny any form of alcohol on a night like this?

Niall, Zayn and he continue drinking and laughing and getting along like a house on fire and Liam's just so glad that his best friend and boyfriend are clicking so well, because they're from such different backgrounds, but then again Niall could befriend a fence post so it's not all that surprising.

They are only slightly interrupted from being complete larrikins when Danielle taps Liam on the shoulder and asks for forgiveness, admits to being a bitch about their break up and gives Zayn a sickly, fake smile when she leaves.

"I'm just happy you're happy and you've found someone else," she says with the least amount of sincerity humanly possible.

It's almost funny the way she walks away, swinging her hips and flicking her hair as if to show Liam that she's the best thing that ever happened to him and, ok, it is funny and the three of them burst out into a fit when she is out of sight.

"What the hell was that?" Zayn asks between his more low key chuckles.

"That was a jealous ex-girlfriend, my good man," Niall guffaws, slapping his hand across Liam's back

Zayn just smirks, "Should I feel special?"

Liam snakes his arm around his waist and presses his lips to his ear, speaking low enough that only Zayn can hear him, "Always."

Zayn stays pressed to his side after that; whether they're walking outside to get some fresh air or for Zayn to have a smoke, whether they are going to look for more drinks or talk to someone from Zayn's art class or Liam's maths class or moving to the sound of the music blaring through the speakers, they don't separate.

It's when Zayn's having a smoke outside and Liam is standing behind him with his hands around his waist that Niall, Josh and Laura run over to them excitedly.

"Uhm, Laura's friend just saw Harry and Louis kiss," Josh blurts out and Zayn drops his cigarette accidentally and cusses.

"Yeah, they were around the side of the hall," Laura tells, excitement evident in her eyes and tone, "Sarah was looking for me and saw them and they were apparently like talking and looked like really serious and then because she thought they might end up having a fight or something because let's be honest, nobody's seen them talk for at least a week. So anyway she went back and said they were proper kissing against the wall, can you _believe?"_

And no. No, Liam can not believe, "Are you serious?"

"I know right. I mean, oh my god, it's like every popular kid is gay now or something, right?" Laura laughs.

Niall defends his sexuality with a, "Well, hey now, I'm straight," then defends everybody by adding, "it doesn't really matter though, does it?"

"I guess not," Laura laughs off the awkwardness of putting her foot in her mouth, "Anyway, I have to go tell Cassie, catch ya."

She all but skips off to tell the next person and the next and Liam figures it will only be a matter of minutes before everybody has heard. He feels a twinge of empathy, because he knows how much it sucks to be outed by gossip, but as much as he hasn't hated Harry's company over the past week, it really is a taste of their own medicine… especially for Louis.

"Did you see this coming?" Niall asks Zayn the question that Liam was about to verbalize.

Zayn scratches his head, then lights another cigarette before answering.

"Yes and no. Like I told Harry to explore his sexuality and stuff and I'm not surprised he's into guys, but Louis shocks me a bit," he pauses for a moment, "Maybe they're both just really fucking drunk, because I know I'm halfway there."

Liam coughs, "A little past halfway, maybe."

Zayn shoots him a look, but within seconds a beat that Zayn recognises starts inside and he is dragging Liam behind him by the collar of his shirt, demanding to dance and claiming that he _loves this song_.

Liam just smiles – he’s finding it really fucking hot the way that Zayn pushes him with two hands on his chest into the mass of people when they get inside and follows him into the crowd.

The way that Zayn moves his body is something Liam’s never seen before. He’s always just silently nodding his head or tapping his foot to a song he likes, or singing. God, Zayn started properly singing when he didn’t think Liam could hear the other day and he has the most beautiful voice. Now it seems like he’s quite a dancer too, when he wants to be.

He rolls his hips and shoulders and it’s all just so sensual and Liam isn’t smiling anymore – he’s grabbing Zayn’s waist and pulling him up against him so their bodies are flush against one another.

Once Zayn’s found his rhythm again, he rolls his body in the same obscene way except this time it’s his hips up against Liam’s hips, with Liam’s big hands still gripping his waist, both of their bodies moving together.

The room gets warmer, Liam can feel beads of sweat forming on his brow, can feel his pants and all of his clothes for that matter, feeling tighter and tighter by the minute. Every time Zayn’s crotch meets his, the room gets warmer.

Liam is completely hard now and when he pushes back against one of Zayn’s movements to let him feel him, Zayn lets out a moan and drops his forehead onto Liam’s shoulder.

Before long, his lips find Liam’s neck and Liam’s eyes are closed but he can still see the flashes of pink and green lighting behind his lids, he can still feel the tension building. He breaks the tension by finding Zayn’s lips.

Their bodies moving a little less to concentrate on where Zayn is pulling on Liam’s bottom lip with his teeth, where Liam’s tongue explores Zayn’s mouth.

Who knows how far they would have gone, Zayn starting to get off on the leg Liam slid between his, but Niall stops them before they cause any more of a scene.

“Are you guys thinking of having sex right here or what? Niall reminds them of their audience. He watches them hesitantly break apart.

The pulsating lights and the mass of people slowly becomes apparent again, but Liam gets them both a drink and the uncomfortable awkwardness and twinge of arrogance and pride that he felt from basically subjecting his whole year level to voyeurism again passes.

Time passes as well.

People come up to Liam and tell him they’re going to miss him and tell him to keep in touch and to not forget them when he’s famous. It’s quite flattering really, the way they treat him like he’s already famous; reassurance at its finest.

Not that Liam really needs reassurance. Now that he’s finished high school and he’s at this party with the boy of his dreams and there are hundreds of people that call him their friend and his representative coach is writing him a recommendation for all of his university choices.

Watching Zayn tip back another drink and laughing at Niall jump off a roof, life has never been this good.

His smile starts to fade about six rounds later, but he stopped drinking hours ago. His last drink was after he and Zayn were snogging in the middle of the room, but now Zayn can’t speak coherently if his life depended on it and he trips over his feet as he stumbles towards Liam.

Liam is expecting it though, was already acting cautious and protective, so he leaps forward to catch his boyfriend before he falls to the ground.

“I think you’ve had enough,” Liam says to himself, because he’ll be damned in Zayn is in any frame of mind to comprehend anything. Zayn really is so far gone that Liam is a little scared.

He’s seen people this drunk before, of course – girls crawling down the street while their best friend holds their shoes, guys throwing up in the backyard of their mate’s place and passing out in the corner lodged in a bush or shrub. But he didn’t care about them the way he cares about Zayn, and he’s never felt protective over Josh or Niall.

So he sits Zayn down on a chair and prays that he’ll still be there when he returns and runs off to tell his mates that they’re going home.

Niall nods and smiles and claps him on the back, but his eyes tell Liam that he’s probably too drunk to fully understand as well.

Zayn is asleep and buckled over when he returns and Liam decides that the only way he’s going to get him home is to carry him. The only problem is that the party is quite a few blocks away from Liam’s place, but he knows that Zayn’s is just around the corner.

He’s been to Zayn’s house before but he knows that Zayn is super uncomfortable about the idea of it, but Liam really doesn’t have any other choice except for calling their parents and that’s just not going to happen.

So, it’s a split second decision and he tries to not think about any possible repercussions when ten minutes later he is standing outside Zayn’s door.

He knows there is a spare key under the rock to the right of the pathway about half way between the door and the nature strip, but he can’t pick it up without dropping the boy in his arms.

“Zayn,” Liam presses to his ear, barely stirring him at all. So he tries again, but a little louder, “Zayn, can you hear me?”

To Liam’s surprise, he grumbles incoherently and flutters his eyes open.

“Hey love, I need you to put you down for a second, can you stand?” Zayn doesn’t reply, but Liam guides his feet to the ground and with a death grip on the collar of Liam’s shirt, he manages to find enough balance to stay semi-upright.

Liam picks up the key and walks them back to the door, “Okay, good. I need to you act sober now because your parents can’t see you like this.”

What Liam doesn’t know is that Zayn’s parents have seen this several times before and although they don’t condone it, they are almost used to it. But nonetheless, Liam doesn't want them to start seeing him as ‘the boy that brought their son home when he probably had more alcohol than blood running through his veins”.

When Liam opens the door, he gets them into the lounge room when he sees Zayn’s mother sitting in the dark, but he can still see the disappointment in her eyes.

“Hi, sorry, uhm,” Liam’s voice is quiet, trying not to wake the rest of the house, “I'm just taking him to his room”

His mother nods, but her face doesn’t change expressions, “Thank you Liam."

“It's okay” he mumbles.

Zayn’s mother nods again and Liam leaves it at that – he’s said enough anyway. Zayn keeps his family and his home a long way away from Liam, at an arm’s length would be an understatement, so Liam doesn't think it's appropriate to delve into a conversation with her.

Liam’s never been sure if it’s because Zayn's embarrassed, but he knows that his family know nothing about his sexuality and he always puts it down to that. That and the fact that Zayn’s home really is quite small and untidy and even though he acts like he doesn’t have a care in the world, Liam knows he has more pride than he lets on.

He flicks on the light to Zayn’s room and leads the boy across the discarded clothes all over the floor to his bed. He quickly swipes a few packets of cigarettes and some of Zayn’s art things onto the ground and off the sheets before he guides him down on to the bed.

“Okay love, you’re safe in bed now. Sleep it off and I’ll see you soon, “ Liam presses a kiss to his forehead and he really wants to stay the night, though he knows that would be entirely too much to ask or expect.

Zayn flutters his eyes open at that point and looks right at Liam, so Liam takes his hand to give it a squeeze.

“I love you, Liam,” Zayn slurs and it should be incoherent, but Liam hears it as clear as day and his heart stops and starts and stops again before speeding away.

But Zayn is drunk and is already passed out again, so Liam leaves without a look back over his shoulder and it isn’t until he’s walked the forty-five minutes home and pulled his covers up to his chin, before he lets himself smile.

 

 


End file.
